Plan B from Outer Space

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Plan B from Outer Space was the least successful of the original eleven Plans from Outer Space (for other Plans from Outer Space, see the entries below).

Nomenclature

The disastrous Plan 9 from Outer Space (the only human-documented Plan from Outer Space, 1959) ushered in a new age of planning Plans from Outer Space. Rather than numbering subsequent Plans from Outer Space, the Planners from Outer Space decided to assign them a letter in the belief that by so doing they could reverse what was fast becoming a bad trend. They were wrong. Just why the letter B was chosen as the first letter is unclear, as there is no evidence that there ever was a Plan A from Outer Space.

Planning Plan B from Outer Space

Letterb
Human children forced to spell out the plan during a pre-launch presentation

Planning for Plan B from Outer Space began in 1960. By then, the Planners from Outer Space consisted of three Planners: the original two, plus a management consultant appointed by head office (now believed to have been the one behind the change from numbers to letters). For the better part of that year, the Planners from Outer Space schemed and plotted and above all Planned from Outer Space, using up in the process a great number of felt-tipped markers and big sheets of paper on easels, pots of black coffee and cigarettes. The end result was a Plan from Outer Space so cunning and so devious that it would make all Plans from Outer Space that had gone before look positively nancy.

Gearing Up Plan B from Outer Space

Plan B from Outer Space called for a number of materials which the Planners from Outer Space did not have. To resolve that problem, the Planners from Outer Space hired an outsourcing manager to direct the collation of those materials.

Plan B from Outer Space also required some expertise which had hitherto not been available, so the Planners from Outer Space hired a professional development manager to interview and vet candidates who could bring new skills to the project.

In addition, Plan B from Outer Space required some rather complex software and an IT department to service the technological needs of the plan. To address those issues, the Planners from Outer Space installed practice management software and brought in some 'wetware' to advise and administer the system.

Once the materials, expertise and software for Plan B from Outer Space were sorted, the Planners from Outer Space were ready to go ahead and formalize a budget for the plan. At first instance, Plan B from Outer Space seemed too resource-intensive, so the Planners from Outer Space scaled back some of their original aspirations and decided to focus on destroying California. This cut-back was especially popular with the management consultant, who had his eye on both Planners from Outer Space and was setting them up to be retrenched without pay.

Rolling Out Plan B from Outer Space

Spacecapsule
Despite a new high-tech space capsule, Plan B was destined to fail

Plan B from Outer Space was rolled out with much anticipation on February 8, 1961. Unfortunately, there were problems from the outset.

The 1962 Andromeda Mercy's Outer Space Planner Almanac (AMOSPA) lists the following problems with Plan B from Outer Space:

  • The space capsule was too slow.
  • The space capsule was too loud.
  • The space capsule was badly aimed.
  • The space capsule was not water-tight.
  • The space capsule crashed in a lake.
  • The lake was in Wisconsin, not California.
  • The space capsule could not fit onto a standard train car.
  • The train to California was too slow.
  • The train to California was too loud.
  • The train to California was badly aimed.
  • The space capsule was unloaded in Las Vegas.
  • The space capsule was lost in a hand of stud poker.
  • The space capsule was incorporated into the lobby of Circus Circus.

As a result of these problems, the management consultant was retrenched without pay and work began on Plan 11 from Outer Space.

Other Plans from Outer Space

Other Plans from Outer Space include:

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