Pirate Ninja
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“i eat these things for breakfast... without milk!”
~ chuck norris on how he likes his pirate ninjas
A Pirate Ninja is the opposite of a Ninja Pirate. While a Ninja Pirate is a pirate with Ninja training, a Pirate Ninja is a ninja who pirates. However, similar to the Ninja Pirate, it is a deadly and evil force that should be treated with the utmost caution.
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[edit] Origins
The origins of the Pirate Ninja are unknown. It is theorized that it was created by Cyborg Hitler as a weapon to use against Cheese Jesus. However, after the RIAA discovered it was illegally downloading music, it was banished to the darkest corner of the universe, with Gary Gygax and Unicron. What became of it afterward is unknown, but some believe it was warped by a black hole and mutated into Gary Coleman.Now many people believe that there is a Pirate Ninja. However this is untrue because if a Pirate and a Ninja were to mate the world would end by being sucked into a black hole created by the Pirate and Ninja being to close to one another and having to much awesome power in one place at one time!!! Remember the movie The One with Jet li ten times that and thats what it would be like only more awesome then the human eye can perceive. It is also strongly believed that the pirate Ninjas Bred and created a super race who won the pirate ninja war of 1337!
[edit] Characteristics
A Pirate Ninja is like a Ninja Pirate, except everything ninja is pirate, and vice versa. Rather than being a pirate with a ninja mask and sword, it's a Ninja with a pirate hat and a parrot on its shoulder. Though the two are very similar in appearance, the Pirate Ninja is more ninja-y than piratey. They can easily be distinguished by 3 simple differences:
- it doesn't say "Arrrr" as much
- it DOES ride in boats
- it doesn't wear eyepatches
More importantly though, there is only one Pirate Ninja, while there are multiple Ninja Pirates. Why? 'Cause when Cyborg Hitler built it, he knew it would be too dangerous to make another. Plus, the sheer number of monkeys needed is just rediculous. Do you know how much it costs to even RENT one? Whooooa monkey.
[edit] FAQ
Even less is known about this elusive creature than the Ninja Pirate, leading to a mythos of superstition and misconception. Here are some commonly asked questions and their REAL answers.
Is it a hat?
- No. If you try to wear it, it will kill you.
What kind of weapons does it use?
- While the Ninja Pirate uses piratey ninja weapons, like the ninja pirate starrr, the Pirate Ninja uses ninja-y pirate weapons, such as the pirat-o, the Pirate Ninja version of the ninjato. It's actually an evolved form of the scimitar; no one knows how or why they use scimitars or how they even got a hold of them, but most sources say it's just to confuse the hell out of you.
What happens if a Pirate Ninja fights another Pirate Ninja?
- This is impossible. There is only one(currently), and if it fought itself, no one would win, because it's too powerful to defeat itself.
If I skeer what will happen?
- If the dead baby, happens to be OCUALA then do not touch the pirate for he is diseases and most likely not alive or about to be not alive, which means that he would have ceased to exist, unless the pirate was a female OCUALA
[edit] Ninja Pirate vs. Pirate Ninja
Another commonly asked question is, "What would happen if a Ninja Pirate fought a Pirate Ninja?" To put it simply, this would cause a catastrophic aplosion, destroying all the tacos in the universe. It is theorized that even summoning the Pirate Ninja back into existance would asplode the universe as we know it, leaving only a box of thumb tacks and a Star Wars marital aid behind. There is nothing known to be able to defeat the Pirate Ninja as it is, because it was only captured by the RIAA, and not destroyed.
[edit] Chuck Norris
It is unknown whether or not Chuck Norris could defeat the Pirate Ninja. However, it may be possible that Chuck Norris IS the Pirate Ninja, as Vin Diesel is the only know Ninja Pirate, and everyone knows that Vin Diesel is really the Anti-Norris, Nuck Chorris. Also, Vin Diesel is a pussy, and Chuck Norris could SO kick his ass. Plus, this brings back the point that the Pirate Ninja can't defeat himself, so whether Chuck Norris could beat him or not is a moot point.
It has been revealed through a surprising twist of events that the only real Pirate Ninja, is, in fact, Zelda. Think about it; she can turn into a ninja (Sheik), and is a pirate(tetra). But then again, she could be a ninja pirate instead. Nevermind, go back to the first explaination.
Chuck Norris could SO kick a Pirate Ninja's ass. He can beat anything, including himself, so even if he IS the Pirate Ninja, he's just that cool.
Not funny.<s>
Coming back to a previous point about pirate ninjas being able to eat napalm to make there sperm even more indestructable, recent studies have shown that a ninja doesnt actually produce sperm, it mearly shoots out its kids through its thick but pleasurable downstairs monster.
[edit] See Also
- Ninja
- Pirate
- Ninja Pirate
- Pirate-Ninja War
- Chuck Norris
- Nuck Chorris
- Vin Diesel
- Din Veisel
- Anti-Norris
- Your mom
- grue
- eurg
- Anti-Grue
- Pirate Ninja Jesus
- Pretty much the rest of Uncyclopedia
