Pinoy Big Brother

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 21:38, June 17, 2012 by Frosty (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Bloink1 solid
This article has multiple issues.
  • Not funny - make it funny. You know, with jokes and stuff.
  • Poorly formatted - make it look like an article, with sections, paragraphs, headers, images, links, etc.
    If this page is not fixed in 30 days, it may become a candidate for deletion.
Template:Big Brother housemates

Pinoy Big Brother 3 was the Philippines' third series of Endemol's Big Brother format, aired in the rainy season of 2006. As with previous editions, the third series was based around the theme of "Tsunami Wipeout", a logical follow-up to the first and second series' themes "Build it on Stilts" and "It's Raining Quite a Lot", respectively. The show itself was hosted by ex-housemate and convicted human trafficker Nelia Dy-Buncio, with celebrity drag queen Ferderand Luzvimindo Balangue presenting the sister show Big Brother's Extended Member. Unlike the previous series, the winning housemate did not receive a cash prize. Instead, they could choose between a flagon of poisoned mead, or the contents of Mystery Box C. The naming of the mystery box caused mild controversy when it was revealed that Mystery Boxes A and B had been recommissioned for use in a gameshow format by the same production company. The controversy arose when it was revealed that Mystery Box C contained little more than a debilitating disease, while the use of the other two boxes in said gameshow implied that they in fact contained money.

House Theme

2006 was a very important year for Pinoy Big Brother, as it emerged that racism had plagued the house. Alan Yentob famously claimed that the year was a low point for the show, however unbeknown to him, the show had been fucked from the start. The author of this article does not like Alan Yentob. Google him.

Undeterred by the outbreak of racism in the house, Indian housemate Shapna launched a devastating attack on fellow housemate, Jannis. The result caused widespread controversy, and many blowjobs. For Alan Yentob.

Fuck Alan Yentob.

There was a theme, as well. It centered around recent flood attacks, and as such the house was designed to resemble a flood-ridden basement. Nobody was especially pleased, and 74% of the viewing audience disapproved.

Seriously, fuck Alan Yentob.


Housemates were randomly selected from the Philippine phonebook. KUYA ISN'T LOOKING FOR GOOD LOOKING HOUSEMATES AH! NOH NOH NOH!

  • Princess, a Japayuki from Japan. She was born a loser not to face humiliation after being automatically nominated by Kuya because she forgot to take off her bra.
  • Tom, is a singer from Zambia, Africa. He was so good at being a sportsman that he managed to punch a whole in Kuya's cheap wall. He is now a hardcore pornstar.
  • Delio, is a mixologist who plans to be the next Big Brother. He calls himself Mr. Know-It-All. I know right?
  • Paul Jake, is a balut vendor from Tondo. He is the poorest housemate in the house. And when he first came in, he only brought a cheap belt. For multifunctions, one is to possibly spank any gaybos he meets.
  • Jason, is a posh schoolboy. He hooks up with a total hottie in the house. Apparently, he has OCD. Must explain his serious, hardworking attitude.
  • Melisa, possibly the HOTTEST housemate evaaa!!!!!!!!!! She hooks up with Jason and apparently had sex with him in a jacuzzi on Day 1. AMBRIKINDIK is her widely known phrase, which she probably got from her ancestor of monkeys. She will win the show. No, she won it... WTF is it over already?.
  • Carol, is a vampire from Transylvania. She bit, then lured into sex, 8 boys inside during her ever lasting stay. She is also the youngest housemate, and surprisingly a teacher. It is reported that she had cried out 886,374,000 gallons of tears during her stay.
  • Yhel, is a Jewish mother from Israel who was such a slut that she got pregnant at 14 and giving birth to her first baby girl at 15. Also, she couldn't care less to shut her beak which resulted in her forced eviction. EPIC FAIL.
  • Yuri, is another Japanese from Brazil. She was voted as the most hated loved housemate for her famous line, "ATTACK ME CAROL! ATTACK ME BITCH!"
  • Mariel is the sluttiest of the sluttiest sluts in the house. Her job is to pleasure the boys, 24/7.
  • Johan, is a sex-mad Midget from France.
  • Cathy, is probably the biggest bitch in the house. She got transported by aliens to Big Brother Mars and was kidnapped. Unbeknownst to the housemates, Cathy is actually an alien in disguise. The real Cathy is in Mars with her Martian husbands. Yes that was plural.
  • Mohammed, is an Islamic Extremist from Baghdad, Iraq, he was known for refusing to eat a rat pie during a task because he was fasting, for showing his circumcised penis to the cameras in the shower and for threatening to bomb up the house.
  • Hermes, is a gigolo from Turkey. He fucks everyone, seriously, even his sister.
  • Najha, Is an Arabic Muslim woman who wears a Niqab all the time, even when she is in the shower!
  • Kath & Jimson, are the hottest Spanish couple from Spain. Jimson has recently published a book, "My Experiences: The Guide to a Perfect Marriage". Kath is still inside the house not knowing that the whole series is actually over. During her stay, she showed how much of a slut she was by hooking up with a married man.
  • Rob, is an Austrian from Austria... duh. He revealed after his stay in the house, that he is actually a committed homosexual. Great.
  • Patrick, is a former member of the Ku Klux Klan, he burnt over 4,566 crosses during his stay in the house, he was also known for arguing with fellow housemates JM, JP, Yhel, Mohammed, Tom and Najha because of their backgrounds and threatened to chop their heads off.
  • Rica, is a tranny from India. She turned out to be a real man, tricking the female housemates into letting her see their tits and vaginas. S/he will star in a porn movie with fellow fuckmate, Annina.
  • Rocky, is a gay model from Italy. He is dating a shemale who's double his age. Uhh... yeah... he left... sorry gays.
  • Sam, is a 66 year-old technician. She is also a tech geek, book worm, and possibly the only girl in the house who ISN'T a slut.
  • Toffi & Kenny, are siamese twins from Pluto. There are actually 3 of them, Toffi, Kenny, and Toffifi.
  • JM & JP, are playas, hence their names, JM = Just messin', JP = Just playin', with their wives. They don't mind! Go for them!


For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Pinoy Big Brother.
  • Kätlin, supported housemate Cathy from Mars. She is another slut you'll find in brothels.
  • Annina, is a pornstar. Also called "Super T" (Super Tits), got the boys to shut up for a few seconds by staring at her Super T's. Great job Annina. She requested for her next erotic movie to work with Rica.
  • Harish, is a knocked up Indian housemate who had nothing better to do than fuck with the housemates' minds and piss them off. He taught Melisa to lap dance. Good job Harish.
  • Dengue, as a result of Jason and Melisa's "one night stand" during Day 1, Dengue was conceived from Jason's rectum.

oh this is cool

Who is Kuya?

Many fans have been wondering who the fuck is this super robot who watches the housmates' every move, from sleeping, shaving, showering. That lucky bastard. Soms speculations include:

   v  d  e
Pinoy Big Brother is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.
Personal tools