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So, welcome. Thank you for applying at Stockripe Ltd. We hope you get the job, Mr...
Pingu. Mr James Pingu.
Now, I was asked to speak about my qualifications. Let's see, I'm a qualified accountant with the Association of Chartered Cert...
I know what ACCA is. Tell me about your exam results.
Well, at high school I got diplomas in English, Math, Business, Communications and, let me assure you, numerous others.
I got 98% in my Scholastic Assesment Test, and then I got an MAcc at the university I attended.
Very good. Now, what would you say are your negative qualities?
Well, I'd say I have an annoying aura of supremity so I mostly just keep quiet about the qualification stuff.
I have a knack at losing at Chutes and Ladders, if that's relevant.
I doubt it.
Yeah, me too. And I like to fish. Really. I'm a big sucker for it.
Oh God. Now what is your nationality?
Is this a...
No, I'm not prejudiced.
I believe you. Now, I'm three-quarters American. But my grandfather was from North Pole, Alaska.
Oh hell no!
I beg your pardon?
Erm, south, I believe.
Why, what's wrong? Was it your heart? You know, I've been trained to perform CPR.
I've only been practically tested once. My brother and I were out on an expedition to the South Pole and...
Yes, I am Christian. Does that help?
I loved Pingu when I was a kid! I'm not gonna have some too-good-to-be-true yuppie shatter the image!
Well sir, thank you for letting me—
Fuck you! **shoots self**
What a nice man.