So, welcome. Thank you for applying at Stockripe Ltd. We hope you get the job, Mr...


I know what you're thinking. Yes, I am well endowed.

Pingu. Mr James Pingu.


Now, I was asked to speak about my qualifications. Let's see, I'm a qualified accountant with the Association of Chartered Cert...

I know what ACCA is. Tell me about your exam results.

Well, at high school I got diplomas in English, Math, Business, Communications and, let me assure you, numerous others.


I got 98% in my Scholastic Assesment Test, and then I got an MAcc at the university I attended.

Very good. Now, what would you say are your negative qualities?

Well, I'd say I have an annoying aura of supremity so I mostly just keep quiet about the qualification stuff.


I have a knack at losing at Chutes and Ladders, if that's relevant.

I doubt it.

Yeah, me too. And I like to fish. Really. I'm a big sucker for it.

Oh God. Now what is your nationality?

Is this a...

No, I'm not prejudiced.

I believe you. Now, I'm three-quarters American. But my grandfather was from North Pole, Alaska.

Oh hell no!

I beg your pardon?




Erm, south, I believe.


Why, what's wrong? Was it your heart? You know, I've been trained to perform CPR.


You know, I speak his language.


I've only been practically tested once. My brother and I were out on an expedition to the South Pole and...

Jesus Christ!

Yes, I am Christian. Does that help?

Get out!


I loved Pingu when I was a kid! I'm not gonna have some too-good-to-be-true yuppie shatter the image!



Well sir, thank you for letting me—

Fuck you! **shoots self**

What a nice man.