Pillow
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[edit] Origins
The pillow's origins are traced back to Klingons who were thought to have spread the pillow through the universe after it's incredible success against the Romulans during the Battle of Waterloo, although it's use as a weapon in interstellar combat diminished with the advent of spaceships, and directed energy weapons, and the resulting discovery that the pillow had actually dealt no damage.
Another theory suggests that the pillow was invented by Clowns, who used it to aid in furthering their diabolical plan involving sleep.
[edit] Anglo-Saxon Use
However, the Anglo-Saxons were able to utilize the pillow extensively, and it is believed in some circles that the Sutton Hoo burial site is not a burial site at all, but a ship that had been moved by the incredible undiscovered powers of the pillow. Further evidence has suggested that the pillow's first use in this regard was performed either by Leonardo Da Vinci or by Oscar Wilde--both of whom were in possession of time machines capable of traversing such temporal differences.
[edit] Roman Use
The Roman's first invasion of Britain was unsuccessful precisely because of the Anglo-Saxon mastery of Pillow Combat. The Roman Legions under Caesar were simply unable to penetrate the pillows with their weapons, and were quickly countered by the fast-moving cavalry along their flank, who were riding their pillows into combat.
[edit] Oriental Use
The Asian countries saw little future in the pillow as a melee weapon because of it's clumsiness and because it wasn't made of anything folded. The katana was thought to be capable of bisecting a pillow, but it was not--it is fortunate for them that the Anglo-Saxons never engaged in a war with them.
[edit] Properties
Used as a melee weapon, the pillow deals 1d4-1 damage because of its lack of structural integrity. It has hardness 2, and 4 hit points. It is vulnerable to fire, but immune to cold. However, the true power of the the pillow lies within its capabilities as a ranged weapon. It is actually a zero-point spatial singularity capable of producing immense amounts of energy if used properly. Similar to the Quantum Torpedo, the pillow operates by imposing zero distance between an 11-dimensional universe and a 26-dimensional universe, thus producing an immense amount of energy released in a localized environment.
