From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“NO, NOT PIG IRON, ANYTHING BUT PIG IRON”
Pig Iron is made when pigs and iron are combined.
History of Pig Iron
Pig Iron was discovered in 66 BC, or in the case of Pig Iron fanatics 0. It was created in a bet by Archimedes to some random Syracusan guy in 82 BC or -16 BPI (Before Pig Iron) that the guy could not create a pork scented building material. After 16 years the Random Syracusan guy was successful and forced Archimedes to kill him and steal his idea.
In 5 BC, or 71 API (After Pig Iron), it was used in jails in Judea, Greece, Antioch and Pig hater land as a form of punishment for the peoples there, who either hated pigs or couldn't stop eating them.
With the more popular normal iron, increasing in popularity, pig iron started to decline, and so there was absolutely no market for it.
How is it formed
Pig iron is a raskel product
The charge of the iron, coke, pigs and limestone are placed in the top of the furnace.
They are then dropped into the furnace at a very high speed where the following occurs:
1. The air and the coke react to form carbon dioxide and then carbon monoxide:
O2 + C → CO2 C0 + C → 2CO
2. This causes the death of the pigs. Be prepared the wear hearing protection, as this reaction is highly exothermic, resulting in a noise not wholly unlike a pig being bathed in molten iron. Or a Motorhead concert from approximately 4 inches.
2CO + pig → death of pig
3. The limestone also decomposes as the speed and temperature work their magic
CaCO3 → CaO + CO2
4. The carbon monoxide then reacts with the Iron ore
Fe2O3 + 3CO → 2Fe + 3CO2
5. Finally the Iron reacts with the pig and forms pig iron
2Fe + 2pigs → pigFe (pig iron)
The pig iron is then removed from the furnace.
Where Pig Iron is produced
Because of the lack of demand for pig iron it is made only in Australia.
Uses of Pig Iron
Pig Iron does not have very many uses, in most cases it is turned into boar steel, which has many more uses than pig iron.
Pig Iron is sometimes used to brand pigs and also to throw at people. It is also used by pigs to make things.
It is also sold to countries as a building material for houses that smell and taste like bacon.
For people who just need there butt rubbed..mmmmmm....butt rub
For treatment of being stupid
What the fourth pig used on his home, sadly, that is why he isn't in the story
Firstly there is the problem with the whole purpose of making it. The market is so minute that more money could be made in Whyalla, Southern part of the Northern Territory by making normal iron.
Secondly there is the problem with using live pigs some people think that it is cruel to use live pigs but only the blood instead. Testing by some people have found that using the blood does not give the pig iron the desired result, it only makes it more brittle than before. However, it is a moot point, as pigs do not like needles; therefore, the only way to extract the blood was to kill them anyway. Further testing has also confirmed that the pigs actually enjoy being thrown into the furnace. It makes them feel like they are giving back to a society that has given them so much in life.
War is expected to break out soon.
Also many people to suffer from pigironitis a disease caused by the excessive consumption of pig iron. If left untreated the disease can lead to rashers, and can become un-ham-dable. In areas where there is pigironitis a hamdemic has lead to an aporkalypse. The best treatment is by a special oinkment made entirely of the rare pig iron plant.
Pig iron is extremely brittle as it contains carbon (a.k.a. crispy bits).