Piesexual
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Recently there has been a sizeable piesexual pride movement called TSPPM (the Sizeable Piesexual Pride Movement), which has lobbied to give piesexuals the same rights as other perverts and vagrants.
[edit] Description
Piesexuals gain notable, physical pleasure (*ahh*... physical pleasure!!) from sexual contact or stimulation (good word) with pies, and sometimes pasties. On desperate occasions, piesexuals may even use puddings. Common piesexual practices include "put cock in pie", "piebagging" and "wanking into a pie". Some pisexual persons will often shun "normal" sexual behaviour and instead commit themselves solely to the wonders of the pie. The dirty bastards.
It is not unknown for some piesexual people to display fetishistic behaviour by being attracted only to certain flavours of pie. The best known example of this was in Chris Martin from Coldplay. Doctors noted that Chris would only gain arousal from Holland's meat and potato pie, citing the fact that "it's more meaty than the others". Martin committed suicide in 1998 when the bureaucrats in Whitehall made them market it as "potato and meat". Damn you, Blair! Damn you!
[edit] Terminology
The term piesexual covers a wide range of filthy activities, but can be more accurately defined as such:
- Pansexual is a term for those who gain satisfaction from the vessel of the pie. This usually isn't a pan, but the bureaucrats in Whitehall wouldn't rename it. Damn you, Prescott! Damn you!
- Pie-curious is a term to describe those who often think about pies in a suggestive manner, but haven't yet lost their pie-ginity.
