Pierre Trudeau
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“That bastard still owes me twenty bucks for some tricks we pulled in Kapuskasing back in '81.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Pierre Trudeau
“Living next to the U.S. is like sleeping with an elephant. You keep getting flattened every time it tries to satisfy itself.”
~ Pierre Trudeau on the United States
“TROU D'CUL !”
~ Entire Quebec on Trudeau
 | |
| Rank: | 15th |
| Predecessor: | Lester B. Pearson |
| Successor: | Joe Clark |
| Other Successor: | John-Turner Overdrive |
| Date of Birth: | October 18, 1920 |
| Place of Birth: | Montreal, Quebec |
| Spouse: | Margaret Sinclair |
| Political Party: | Liberal |
| Sex: | Yes please! |
Pierre Elliott Trudeau was the prime minister of Canada and self proclaimed Emperor of the North. After his death he was proclaimed "eternal great leader" and all others were banned from ever again holding any of his titles.
Trudeau was noted for his flamboyant nature, and often engaged in such whimsical actions as Break dancing in the parliament and snorting cocaine. Canadians affectionately referred to him as PET, for his habit of petting women half his age.
Upon his death, Trudeau's son Justin tried to claim the Canadian throne but was unable to overcome partisans loyal to Ben Mulroney. Justin continues to plot in exile in hopes of bringing the Sith back to power and building a second Death Star.
Contents |
[edit] Early Life
The issues of Trudeau's birth are hotly disputed, though the official story maintains that he was spawned on Mt. Trudeau in the late 19th Century to double rainbows. As a young man, he dreamed of one day leading Canada to a shining future, and also of being naked in a supermarket where all the other shoppers are gorillas.
A socialist intelectual, he avoided service in World War II and there are some accounts that he rode around on a motorcycle and actively conspired with Farmer Jones to put down the animals' revolution.
In 1963 he was installed as Canada's leader. All records of how or why this happen have been purged, as "Year Zero" was proclaimed, with all history that occurred pre-Trudeau being declared an enemy of the people.
[edit] War Measures Act
Trudeau used the War Measures Act in 1970 to allow him to arrest anyone anywhere at any time. His first act was to put lawn gnomes all over the Bell Center (Canada's white house) then he bulit a large sulpture of a Q-tip which is also used as a hockey arena for Canada's national team The Mighty Ducks). With the act in place Trudeau was on top of the world and celebrated by smiting Yogi Bear thus making him have the power to love. He also ran a tank through a beaver dam, thus creating the Trudeau River that acts as Canada's main transportation route. Just watch him!
[edit] Favorite Word
Fuddle Duddle
It is not what you think you heard ... and has nothing to do with firetruck.
[edit] See also
| Preceded by: Lester B. Pearson | Prime Minister of Canada (first time) 1968-1979 | Succeeded by: Joe Clark
|
| Preceded by: Joe Clark | Prime Minister of Canada (second time) 1980-1984 | Succeeded by: John Turner |
| Prime Ministers of Canada | 
| |
|---|---|---|
| Macdonald | Mackenzie | Abbott | Thompson | Bowell | Tupper | Laurier | Borden | Meighen | King | Bennett | St. Laurent | Diefenbaker | Pearson | Trudeau | Clark | Turner | Mulroney | Campbell | Chrétien | Martin | Harper | ||
