Piccolo
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Before reading this article, it is required you scream the following in the loudest, deepest, most raspy voice possible: SPECIAL BEAM CANNONN!
This is the green guy that everyone loves to hate. He likes to drink water, tea, hard liquor, and said to be addicted to all forms of porn. He is also a devout American, as you can see by his bad ass turban, cape, and outfit!
picolo:But it doesn't make a bit of difference guy's,The balls are inert! gohan:but we still- Picolo:but it doesnt make a bit of difference guy's gohan:But we can- picolo:The ****ing balls are ****ing inert...**** gohan: ...
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[edit] Life
Piccolo, the one time reincarnate of the Demon King Piccolo, started life out trying to take over the world. After his "father" was defeated by a young Goku, He spit an egg that would grow up to be the Piccolo we know now. Piccolo's goals were to defeat Goku and take over the world. Piccolo was also all the evil and negative emotions and thoughts of Earth's protector Kami. If one should die then the other would follow. When Goku entered the 23rd Worlds Martial Arts tournament. Piccolo entered also. It was his plan to end Goku there and now. But Goku prevailed and defeated Piccolo, and in normal Goku behavior, he believed piccolo deserved a second chance and let him go. Seven years later Goku and Piccolo crossed paths once again, this time joining forces to battle Goku's brother, Raditz. During the battle Piccolo got to do what he set out to do and killed Goku with his new attack, while also killing Raditz. Unfortunately for Piccolo, his feelings got the better of him, and decided to train Goku's son Gohan for the upcoming battle with the last two Sayjins in the universe. During this training Piccolo started changing for the better. Though Gohan he learned Friendship and how to care for other people. In the battle with Nappa and Vegeta, he found out he was a Namek, people from a far off planet. Piccolo made the ultimate sacrifice. He took a blast from Nappa meant for Gohan. The blast killed him but right then and there Piccolo changed to the side of good. In the next few years Piccolo trained with Goku and the rest and headed up the assault against the Android's and Cell. Piccolo Fused with Kami, making him stronger but not strong enough for the fight with Cell in his perfect form. Although Piccolo kept up the rough and tough experience there were many times were he showed a soft spot for Gohan, and played many integral parts throughout Dragonball Z and DragonBall GT.
[edit] Powers
Piccolo is a namek, which is basically the lizard offshoot form of the Biker mice form mars. He is also part Middle Eastern, porterickin', and blackaneese (hence his reference as Niggalo). He is stronger than a human but apparently not much stronger than a saiyan cuz he keeps geting fukd up by basically anyone who can turn blond at will. He can contact the dead through the antennae on his head. Since he is part Middle Eastern he can fly and shoot fire from his mouth. Apparently he can make things on his body go stretchy (lol thats what she said), regenerate lost limbs, make his cape go "whoosh".
NOTE: he may even be able to summon or dismiss clothes at will as during one episodehe materializes a set of indian garb during Gohans conversion of hinduism.
[edit] The world of Z
Angry at his loss, he has since let vengeance get to him. He turned to Richard Simmons tapes to get stronger than Goku. His power level has only incresed by 10 though. Later on Rabbits came to the earth to try to eat Goku, and fry Piccolo's Skin. Piccolo fought with Goku in a battle against this evil man. He won by using the Jack Cannon. Too bad 2 more Super Safrans are coming to the Earth in one year. Then he took Gohan under his wing to train him up to be a big and strong boy for the fangirls. His training program was watching Richard Simmons exercise tapes 5 hours a day, and doing 500 hindu squats a day. After that was done, Piccolo was ready to fight Vegeta and Napa Valley. He ended up dying as a result of fighting Napa Valley and Sonoma Wine Kid because he had horrible flashbacks of being arrested for public intoxication. He could not live without his Sonoma County wine for the time he was jailed, violently shaking and wishing he could savour some of that mash liquor.
[edit] Namek Saga
After training with Kaio-sama, he was ready to kick some tail again! When he went to Namek he found Nail Polish, down and out for for the count. Nail thought that fighting freezer was a good idea, but it was not. He fused with Piccolo's pants and by doing so gave him a powerlevel equal to Freezer's 1,000,000 powerlevel of doom! The end?! What do you think?
“Alright I will let you fuse into my pants but I charge rent for them.”
~ Piccolo on Pants Rental
He went off, and said hello to Freezer. He fought him, and was beating him until he could not take it anymore. Too bad that Freezer had another form that makes even the boogeyman jealous, and me scared. Freezer then started to do the tail kicking, until Gohan came to the rescue again. Maybe those training tapes did do something for once for young lad Gohan. Hours later into the battle he turned into a punching bag for Freezer while Goku summoned his stink bomb. This was all in vain when freezer shot a death beam though him. His last words were:
Hail......Zeon!
[edit] The peskey Jinzoningen/Android Saga
After a livin' with Goku though that Car Saga, and annoyed with always having fish for dinner, Piccolo always scoffed at humans eating stuff like that, and drank his vodka. When it came time for Goku, Piccolo, and Gohan to fight the Jinzoningen, Goku's doctor tould him that he cannot eat any more Hershey's Jesii and Creme or he will have heart problems. He even told him to rest, and not fight. Goku said hell nah! They all went off and fought. Goku's heart was starting to screw with him, then he did his kamahameha penis thrust at Piccolo and he said:
You bludering fool! You are going to heal that damn clown bot, and get weaker!
Then after that he went on to fight more Jinzoningen annoyances, the hot sexy 18, and the pretty boy 17. He got his butt handed to him sadly. Later he then wanted to fuse with another pair of pants for boosted mobility. So he did so with Kami-sama in a preverted pseduo paedophilische ceremony. His power level then went up up and away. He then ran into Cell. A monster that eats people with his butt. He escaped then later went off to fight pretty boy 17 in a epic battle until Cell entered the ring. Cell cleaned Piccolo out sadly again, but Robocop 16 was able to throw Cell around for awhile. Piccolo then prayed that 17, the lesser evil, would win. This starts to remind him of what is like to vote a Democrat or a Republican. Evil vs. Lesser Evil. Too bad 17 got eaten, and Cell became ugly perfect. Then Cell gobbles up hot sexy 18 and becomes sexy perfect. Piccolo had to retreat from there.
After training real hard, and advancing his knowledge of Vegeta's Thai Bo tapes, he entered the Cell games but was on the sidelines watching Goku and Gohan beating up perfect Cell. Piccolo then started to get mad that he cannot beat one major villain besides Rabbits. So he threw a fit, and Akira, and Toei forced him to get his self jumped by Cell juniors. The good news is that Gohan went SSJ2. Piccolo was proud of that young boy.
[edit] Buu Saga
Well he does not do any real tail kicking in this one, though his sure did give Babidi a cut to remember. When Piccolo was about to fight this purple guy that was acting evil for some reason, but he then realized that he is the big boss of all Kais/Kaioshins. He wanted to fight but his Spider senses told him that his powerlevel is too sexy for his. Later on when he went off to fight Babidi's men, he turned into stone because he was told not to look back at the tourney by Big boss Kaioshin himself. He did and turned into stone just like the story of Lot in the Bible. Harsh but true. Then Dabura the Demon King (Babadi's kinky demon slave) puts a second coat of stone on Piccolo using the cum from his mouth, permanently sealing him in stone, until Piccolo crapped his way out of it (namek shit is more powerful than demon cum).
Piccolo later helped the Big Boss Kaioshin get rid of the stoned curse, he teaches the spawn of Gomen and Trunks, how to fuse into one. Well after this, and coaching inside the ROAST. Gotenks was almost able to defeat Buu. Then Buu realized he was getting himself handed to him by Gohan later on. Super Buu said:
Wait a second. Piccolo is too smart for me, and Gotenks is too strong. If I absorb both of them I will be ueber! BLARG!
So this did happen, and he was absorbed. Piccolo after that didn't get much done after all during this saga, only to find that later, the balls in his other pants made a bit of difference. The balls were also inert.
[edit] Dragonball GT/Plotholes
During the early stages of Dragonball Z, Piccolo's powerlevel was claimed to down to 9,000 since his volka addiction got worse over the years. This guy is only slightly stronger than Napa Vally for crying outloud.
Piccolo later during this saga, was feeling sucidal since he was shafted yet again in the Buutt saga, and Krillin stole his crush, the sexy Android 18. He then knew it was time to leave Earth with Goku. He thought it was a good idea to use the Blackstar Dragon Balls on Earth. Well TOO BAD, IT WAS NOT. When it was time to get the hell off of earth, Piccolo hid from everyone so Goku would not drag him on the ship.
You are going to stay on Earth? You will die, man!
Well whats the point. The next villain will give me an another spanking anyway. I rather go to Heaven then stay here on this Hell you call Earth. I did my part on Earth. Remember kids, do your 500 Hindu squats, take you vitamins, and say your prayers to me, since I the God of Earth will die now!
Piccolo transported Goku back to the ship.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Later Piccolo found out that Goku was sent to Hell when he was framed for trying to commit incest with Pan. He found out the only way to Hell was to admit that he had attempted a sex act with Pan instead of Goku. Problem is that he was sent to hell, but Goku stayed down there for some strange reason. He helped Goku escape Freezer, and Cell's wrath, and was able to fight Super Porno Defender 17. After the Gods of Heaven discovered that Piccolo really didn't do anything, and Goku was framed, they made him the new Prince of Darkness. He was the new master of Hell in other words. So sometimes taking a huuuuge crap is your only option after all.
[edit] Alias's
Piccolo is usually known as Piccolo but occasionally goes by a different name. Other names include Donkey Kong Jr. in Dragonball, Master Yoda in Starwars, James Bond, The green giant, and Uncle Strangehead in the Malaysian dub of Dragonball Z (Seriously WTF were the Malaysians who made that smoking?) , and too conclude this run0on sentence, he also goes by the name of James Marsters.
[edit] Other Media
King "Ding-a-ling" Piccolo has starred in other shows and movies such as: King Piccolo, Namekian Gigalo Green dick vs. Blue dick Ghandi Alfred Molinas: Dragon Bolinas
[edit] See Also
[edit] References
- ↑ Ibid
