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The piccolo is is the green guy that everyone loves to hate. He likes to drink water, tea, hard liquor, and is addicted to all forms of porn. He is also a devout American, as you can see by his bad ass turban, cape, and outfit.
Piccolo was found by Albert Einstein in a jungle far far away, then taken to the Nuclear Labs for testing. After being pushed into a trench from Planet Namek where he was starved for days, and finally fed an ape, Piccolo was separated from his morbidly obese brother, Shrek, into a pod designed by Einsten's son, Bob. Shrek actually had this as a plan because only the fat Namekians could be the elders, such as Guru, the most obese green man ever. Shrek was the successor due to his Pounds that went right off the chart, and Piccolo ordered McNamekians everyday for a month, Shrek had decided to rid him, so that there would be no competition to the Iron Throne. After bribing Bob with a TI-84 calculator, Piccolo quickly threw it the other way and made his escape, with Shrek.Soon after, Albert Einstein found him again with the help of Dexter Boy Genius, and had him sent to Nazi Germany where he was put in a concentration camp for being Green. Life was difficult in the concentration camp as Shrek had escaped, yet Piccolo was left behind, half the man he used to be. After feeding on other people, the Soviets (following an anonymous tip by Dexter Boy Genius) raided the camp they found the green man planting some seeds that then destroyed the Soviets, and Piccolo then went on to take down the USSR, eventually becoming the first man to be in Space (or come from Space, nobody knows as no historical record still exists; as Shrek wanted to cover all traces of Piccolo's accomplishments)
edit Growing Up
Piccolo (Marquese) learned how to play a piccolo when he was 2 years old, and played it with Nam until the tournament, where he met a little monkey boy with a huge stick who beat him and stuck the flute so far up his ass it caused Piccolo to break into two people. Piccolo was now damaged twice the effect, after being split from Shrek and now split to his worse self; the worst pop singer in the galaxy. The Saiyans did not take kindly to this, so came some time later and destroyed the meat-dress woman for slaughtering many intergalactic cows. Piccolo had to recharge after taking care of the Saiyan threat, and so retreated into the depths of Somalia and became known as "Shakulu" or "Shakulu the Plantman". This was his guise, and undercover he mated with a waterbeast whom provided him two eventual successors: Tupac Shakur and Kanye West.
It was 12:00 AM, and an old homie called Piccolo. Piccolo had spent some time with his waterbeast bitch and two children, as he then set off for what he never knew was his final battle. Like all bad-ass superheroes, Piccolo died--but only after teaming up with Ronald McDonald to fight the Burger King in a triple threat match. Piccolo was able to summon Randy Coutoure and Dwayne Johnson from the depths of the underworld, but they were both mercilessly decapitated by the Burger King. Piccolo then suplxed the Burger King, but Ronald McDonald missed his frog splash opportunity, being hit by a steal chair betrayed by the Burgular Kid from McDonalds. the Burger King jumped up and flying kicked Piccolo, which left him in a daze, only to get the shit beaten out of him by the Undertaker, whereas Ronald McDonald died and Piccolo cried and then abused Ronald's dead body. After doing so he was caught by a bald-headed midget and a little number 1 fan. Then came this huge ass dude and weird ass haircut man and they killed Piccolo, thus his death.
edit More and then Death Again
Wished from the dead by Gohan again, Piccolo ignited his fusion with a dying Akon, as he sought out to kill a purple white pink thing that couldn't stop transforming. Piccolo took out his epic flute from his ass (stil jammed in even through death) and played it as a huge snake jumped out and ate the monster. After this Piccolo returned to esrth and raped Gohan like the pedophile he is, as a means of thanks, years later only to be attacked by some robots resembling Disney teen sensations (such as Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus), who in turn made Piccolo fuse with his Separation again, making him even more retarded and stupid then before. Little did he know, Shrek used genetic engineering on his former seperation to give her brain damage. Fusing with Lady Gaga, Piccolo was now gender-confused, until Lady Gaga confessed she was Sir Gaga. He used his Lazor to destroy the beast robots and some rapist, only to end up fighting a Majin Buu which only had the world destroyed and remade as he died again.
In Heaven, Piccolo continues to watch his son Kanye West alongside his eldest son Tupac Shakur, who's awaiting his return to Earth whenever his fans decide to stop talking about it to make it a surprise once again.
Piccolo still plays his flute on the nights of the full moon. If you climb the highest point on Earth, spin your head 360 degrees and yell "Gaga Ooh La La" on the top of your lungs, you may just hear him.