Pi

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Pi is single most important invention of the modern age. Pi is the key ingredient that allowed primitive man to invent the concept of circles. And the invention of circles lead to the invention of the wheel. Pi did that. Invented the wheel, I mean. And much more.
Here is a list of some stuff that pi helped invent:

  • Cups
  • Jars
  • Wheels
  • Airplanes
  • Nighttime



YEAH HEY GUESS WHAT. PI HELPED INVENT THE NIGHTTIMES. Oh shit sorry I got a bit over exited there. But holy shit man. This is pi we're talking about. And pi invented the nighttime. And the nighttime invented basketball.

The invention of basketball

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It was a dark and stormy NIGHT. Three wisemen were riding towards Harlem on giant tanks made of gold and covered in diamonds and rubies and emeralds and the heads of women and children from Canada. Suddenly Jesus. And a bathtub full of acid. And next thing you know Heith Ledger is dead and basketball is on CNN every morning at 18 blue donkey hour.

More stuff that pi helped invent

  • Keanu Reeves
  • Hollywood
  • Mexico
  • Trees
  • The wind
  • Guns
  • Batman

Important safety information

Don't stop believing.

What is believing?

Believing is when you think something to be true with your mind, brain, body, and soul. It is a religious practice that dates back to the beginning of time. Pi did not invent believing, but you can believe that it did if you try hard enough. I believe that you can believe if only you believe that you can believe. Believe me, I believe in belief.

Other important things that Pi made possible

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How pi invented time

One day Pi was chilling pool side with his homies, smoking a blunt and discussing the finer points of fried chicken. Suddenly Pi said, "I would certainly like some fried chicken right now." But because time hadn't been invented yet he couldn't move his limbs. He could only move his mouth. So, with his mouth he started making clicking noises, using his tongue and the roof of his mouth. His homies asked him what he was doing and he explained, "I have just invented the first clock!" Suddenly they could all move their arms and legs and thoraxes so they stood up and walked away from the pool. They walked and walked and everywhere they went, time spread. Children who previously could only move their mouths were suddenly able to play and dance and sing. Eventually Pi and his homies arrived at their local fried chicken dispensary and ordered a bunch of chicken and enjoyed it.

In conclusion

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for reading. At this time flight attendants will be coming through the cabin making their final safety checks before we land. At this time, please be sure that your seat back is returned to its upright position, and that your tray table is stowed. Please check to see if your seat belt is securely fastened. As a reminder, all carry on items must now be under the seat in front of you, or in an overhead compartment.


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