Photosynthesis

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“The photosynthesis is clearly wrong. 'Light' is missing on one side of the equation.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Photosynthesisisisisisisis

“No, wait, the photosynthesis is clearly not clearly wrong. The light goes into the oxygen. Otherwise it would be impossible to see anything during the daytime.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Photosynthesis

Photosynthesis is the process by which plants, trees, Joan Rivers, the Empire State Building, and certain species of beaver produce food, oxygen, and pr0n.

Joan1

Evergreen comedienne Joan Rivers: "Blonde is nice, but my natural hair color is leaf green."

Photosynthesis operates by the host absorbing sunlight, carbondioxid and small children. These building blocks are then turned into ammonia and cookies, which the host uses as food. Ham is a waste product of photosynthesis.

edit Underwearview

Photosynthesis is the process in which plants absorb the reflected light off of water from the moon. After 400 days of photosynthesising, each plant produces a giant potato. But the potatoes are not really potatoes. This is known because it was once reported that they were seen spinning and sinking into the ground. the best theory that the best scientests of the world was this.


inside of each potatoe is one living part of a giant transformer. (not the one that works with electricity, the ones from the movie) these parts are migrating to the center of the earth's core, where in the next one hundred years will cause the earth to crack into three separate pieces. the transformer will rule over the three pieces. the way that he will keep his power will be eating the plants and he will make many seprate balls. not marbles, but meat balls. if you do not obey the transformer the balls will spray you with acidic ball juice. wanker! and willys!

edit Discovery

Photosynthesis was invented by Dr. Gerald Ford. While attempting to find a route to the East Indies, Ford found and befriended a Time travelling robot, who explained to him the mechanics of photosynthesis. The two remain BFF to this day. The two later went on to run a car factury called Time travelling robot and are famous for the quote 'You can have whatever colour you want, as long as you're not pink with blue spots. On Januray 29th 2006, Ford was eaten by the robot in an attempt of making synthetic photosynthesis. It was later discovered that the robot was an over enthusiastic Runescape nerd who believed that by devouring Gerald Ford he might up his strength and Farming Skill.

edit (Big long word that means "use")

Using a simple grade-school science expiriment, anybody can see the process of photosynthesis at work. Simply take a dead yellow badger, two bottles of syrup, and 27 pounds of food-grade asbestos. Put the ingredients in a pie tin and place in a sunlit area in your home. In less than a week, the overpowering smell will force you to flee your house. When you run outside, nauseous and gasping for air, you will be forced to look at the plants and trees that use photosynthesis.

edit The Computer Program

Photosynthesis, now replaced by the more user friendly photoshop, was an early computer program for picture editing. Photosynthesis had only the most rudimentery cropping and cut and paste technology but in 1876 England it was a breakthrough.

“Last night I took my birth certificate and swapped round the first letters of my first and second name using photosynthesis. It was great”
~ Oscar Wilde on Photosynthesis

edit Dangerous Overpotproduction

In the past years, there has been a decrease of pot production, which has led to a world-wide campaign on pot. Unfortunately, this campaign was cut short in the great pot wars of the C.21 1/2. The greedy people who disliked the reduction in total pot output managed to plant more box hedge, and a few more Empire State Buildings to increase the world's total pot output, This was accomplished, and the next 10 years there was a global over producion of pot, and various measures had to be brought in to control the aggressive "potbeings" which had evolved from the pot sludge, such as the mass talk show hosts, trying to conceal the fact the the primitive being made of potsludge, was in fact, a kind, caring being with a feeling for all people.

One stratergy for controlling the excess pot production was the realease of Piggles, the canabalistic blob which devored 3 Empire State Buildings worth of ham a day, keeping the balance of output and demand.

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