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Phonics is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets. It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back. Movements for its removal from the market have failed thus far.

Street Names

  • Fonicks
  • P
  • Phairy dust
  • Werds
  • Fragmentz
  • Subjunctive clauses

Side Effects

Phonics has several harmful side effects.


These are widely considered the "highs" of Phonics use.

  • Higher grade point average
  • Higher literacy
  • Higher self-confidence
  • Higher belief in elves

Where you can purchase Phonics

You can purchase Phonics:

  • At
  • By calling 1-800-REED-NOW
  • From Carlos, the guy who slangs behind the 7-11. He's got the good shit.

See Other Drugs Just for Kids

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