Phone box

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
This article should not be confused with phone boxing, a deadly martial art.

The first recorded incident of people using a phone box was in Ancient Greece. A couple were walking through the market when a builder accidentally dropped a box from his scaffolding. The box landed on the couple's heads and they continued walking an talking as normal, but with the added comfort of knowing that they were doing so with a box on their heads. Unfortunately they could not see where they were walking and there was a terrible accident. Knives are no longer displayed at neck height.

The phone box caught on quickly among the Greek aristocracy and was often use when talking with the head exposed was innapropriate. Philosophers also used phone boxes regularly, hence the expression "thinking inside the box".

[edit] Evolution of the Phone Box

Though it had been around for centuries, a long distance phone box was not invented until 1649 and stretched across the English Channel from England to France. However, nobody in England wanted to talk to the French and vice versa, so the giant box was thrown into the sea never to be seen again. Some theories suggest that the box floated for years until it eventually became New Zealand.

A trans-Atlantic phone box was created in 1860, but unfortunately the cardboard used became soggy and the box was destroyed by the elements.

After an explanation of how a phone box works from Lewis and Clark the native americans created there own phone box that stretched from one person around the world and onto the other persons head. Not only did this work, but it worked really well because the people were two feet apart from each other. Unfortunately it was made of tobacco and really only extended ten feet from each persons head seeing as the whole middle of the box was smoked by tribes and nations alike, fine grade stuff really, you should have been there.

The largest Phone box recorded to date is the apptly named "Universal phone box". It was created out of super cardboard and a few really long wires, it was originaly used to talk to aliens but when it ran out of luck they began to use it to communicate with rover surfing astronaughts on Mars. Not only did the creators earn the Nobel Peace Prize for this phone box but they also got the highly acclaimed "What the Fuck were you Thinking" award.

[edit] Modern Day Phone Boxes

The red phone box can be seen across the British Isles and is viewed as one of its main attractions. But, with the invention in the 1930s of the 'cup and string', most modern day phone boxes are now out of work and seek employment as novelty fish tanks or trendy wine bars.

The 1980's a regeneration of phone box's everywhere as people looked back on the days and decided they liked that life style better. In 1985 the agressive phone box Domo began to star in several movies and even got his own brand of tooth paste called "I Eat you Head: good for the whole family, and keeps all that pesky blood from staying in your body". After Domos come back phone box's were encouraged to be the communication of the world and were celebrated with several parades that had several brown box balloons (any other type of ballon was popped and used to suffacate the carriers). Not long after in 2001 phone box's were a major part of society and held all the rights of the every day citizens that lived in there nations. In 2002 George Clooney made a prophecy that phone box's would take over the world. Phone box's then killed Clooney for his prediction. Mankind then raged war on phone box's everywhere sending them to live in the oceans. To this very day phone boxes live ther lives underwater building there army and creating weapons more powerfull than humans could ever imgine. That or they've turned into that brown paste that you get when you waterlog cardboard.

Personal tools
projects