Phoenix Wright
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The author knows this because he is also a peckerhead and has frequently chatted with Phoenix Wright at the meetings.
This article has been interned. Giusep Nay, the most unbiased lawyer in the entire legal system, has decided that this article should be interned. Please report to the nearest relocation center where you will spend the rest of the war.
“iObject. Because life is contradictory.”
~ Phoenix Wright on Apple iLife
“Objection!”
~ Phoenix Wright on people trying to say something useful
“Hold it!”
~ Phoenix Wright on Teaching Edgeworth Masturbation
“Take that!”
~ Phoenix Wright on shouting during intercourse with Franziska
“Oh snap !! I do not hear such a truth...!?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Phoenix Wright
“Hmm, so I am meant to click on a site called Goatse.fr... Oh god, what's that?
Is that real?
OBJECTION!!!!!!!!!!”
~ Ph03n1x Wr19h7 on Goatse
Phoenix Wright is the best defense attorney in the multiverse. A sucker called Matt Murdock tried to claim this, but Phoenix challenged him to a lawyer battle, before destroying his eyes with the Finger, leaving Matt a blind guy. Additionally, he is the oppposite of Jack Thompson, and thus defends video games instead of jacking off to them trying to get them banned.
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[edit] Phoenix Wright
Phoenix Wright's life was a hard one. He was created by Phillip "Mad Bastard" Whitings in 1892 in a secret underground log cabin in Mississippi, Utah. When he saw that some annoying white-haired guy was trying to chop down his log cabin, he sued him for a total of over $10,000,000 (€20) and became a lawyer. It is believed he is related to Jack Bauer, a theory often backed up by his in-court dialogue. He knows if you're lying. It's one of his powers.
When he became a lawyer, he made many friends, who oddly deny any involvement. People have speculated that Phoenix Wright was killed by a "blunt and heavy object". Some people suggest that this "blunt and heavy object" was a statue of The Thinker that had a built in clock. Although now-deceased-and-somehow-resurrected-for-no-apparent-reason-in-the-Japanese-only-sequel attorney Mia Fey denies this point saying the clockwork was removed a long time ago.
Others, however, speculate that the statue simply damaged Phoenix's brain to the point where he ditched his lawyer powers and became a piano player in some restaurant, blaming "the developers of the series." Supposedly, Phoenix gained his lawyer powers back after being hit on the head with said blunt and heavy object, this time with the ability to wear a hobo suit in court. However, this may only be a rumor.
It is also a little known fact that Phoenix Wright spends approximately US $1.2 billion annually on hairgel.
[edit] TIME TRAVEL, WHOAMG!
However, one fateful day Phoenix and friends were swept into a random gap in time, (quite possibly created by Phoenix dividing by 0) and were transported to the early 2000's. He continues his mad lawyering skills to this day.
[edit] Damn the Patriots!
The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo ban this article.
But because they can't show their face, they can't do jack.
Since the Patriots were being held in eternal damnation, Phoenix Wright decided to go and sue God for blasphemy. God was sued for a total of over €20 ($10,000,000). Phoenix Wright then went and played with himself ...on a Nintendo DS. (He likes to touch it, down there.)
[edit] Mia and Maya
One day, Phoenix met Tina Mia Fey, a fellow attorney. The two quickly had mad sex, but sadly, Mia's busty glory exploded causing massive blood loss and death, after Phoenix accidentally impaled her on his spiky spiky hair. A day later Phoenix met Mia's little sister Maya, and decided spirit mediums make awesome assistants. She's a major alcoholic, drug addict, and sometimes channels mass murderers when she's bored. Also on occasion, provides random and almost completely insignificant help during cases. She exploded one day after holding in a huge fart, but Phoenix managed to use his industrial strength hair gel to glue her back together. After reviving her using an indian burial ground and satanic chants, he decided to get his kicks by asking several firemen to hose her down. Repeatedly. Fortunately, after doing so, she got to see her sister and exploded once more, giving Phoenix to think of the time he played hide and seek with Edgeworth at Neverland Ranch. After the butt sex of course. Maya has continued this exploding/resurrection cycle ever since. (She loves them burritos.)
However, in 2010, while Maya was sleeping, Phoenix snuck in her room and quickly had raw butt sex with her. She is currently pregnant with 5 babies, an alien, and Jimmy Carter's son. (All our miracles never happen.)
[edit] The Finger
Phoenix Wright's objectioning finger, which mysteriously waves as he objects, is said to be phallic. Its reason for doing this is unclear, but it's known to have made many a prosecution lawyer react in strange ways, such as attorney Payne, who lost all of his hair because Mia had just the finger alone. The wiggle, however, brings fear into the hearts of many. Edgeworth is also said to have a rivaling finger wave of his own, but possesses a more refined and dominating waggle. Unfortunately, since Mia exploded, Phoenix and Edgeworth are the sole pair to own the power of the finger.
There is a new kid named Apollo Justice who is trying to steal the thunder of The Finger with the straight single pose Mia had but he wears a bracelet on his "Objection!" arm and therefore can be classified as nothing but a girl. His mentor, Khristoph Gavin is worse being how his strict-but-OMFG-IM-so-happy ways often lead to him smiling 2 different kinds of smiles. The OMFG-IM-happy smile and the Hey-lets-go-somewhere smile. Gavin has been known to switch between smiles randomly. Kristoph shares this trait with his ADHD brother Klavier, who also has a third smile, the Hey-lets-party smile.
[edit] Witnesses
Larry Butz- Overall closeted gay, this clown tries to get girls, but fails, mainly because of his fangs. He's Phoenix's best friend/fuckbuddy, and always stands up for him when needed. (Which is totally like, never.)
Cindy Stone- A model who moonlights as a cheating whore with a large cinderblock in her house. Her head was bashed in with a statue, and she died. Did I mention she was also Larry's girlfriend?
Frank Sawhit- Self proclaimed annoying business man with a dot on his forehead. He killed Cindy Stone, the cheap bastard.
Redd White- Cheeky Bluecorp CEO who is very effeminite. He forces his secretary, April May June, to wiretap Mia Fey's phone. He dresses in pink and killed Mia Fey. Because we all know not EVERYONE can stand huge boobs.
April May June- Secretary for Redd White. She has pink hair, and loves iced coffee. She recently made way for the "Hot Coffee" mods to come to fruition in various computers and games. She is also a target of the Giant Tentacle Rape Monster.
Bellboy- He's April May June's slut. Known for "servicing" his clients, he takes a likeing to all hot males who walk through the Gatewater Hotel. He's currently a gay porn star who opporates under the name "Peaches."
Penny Nichols- What's that you say? Money? What is money?
Cody Hawkins- Obsessive fanboy who loves his idol, the Steel Samurai. He also likes to take pictures. He can also be seen at various conventions around the world.
Wendy Oldbag- Old Crone who works security at Global Studios. Or was it Gatewater Hotel? Anyway, she loves to chase little boys, and also likes to chase and molest Miles Edgeworth.
Sal Minella- uBer l33T HaXorZ n00b!
Dee Vasquez- The greatest character in the series, Dee is a producer at Global Studios. A lesbian, she is married to her partner Morgan Fey. She also smokes 12 packs of Marlboro's a day and 15 packs of Camel at night. She is also known for pushing people off ledges to their deaths.
Will Powers- The star of Steel Samurai, he gets convicted of murder, and worries it will ruin his image to the children who watch his show. Favourite catchphrase: "I have not... not... NOT!
Lotta Hart- Southern Belle who eats cornbread and takes photos. Also, she has an afro, furthering the increase of racist white people across the globe.
Manifred Von-Karma- Headbanger who was also Edgeworth's captor back when he was a child. He raped Edgeworth many times, which is why Edgeworth is so gay. His daughter is Fransiska Von Karma, a German woman who is into bondage.
Ema Skye- Annoying fangirl who loves detective stuff. She has no life, and later on goes to assist the twink Apollo Justice in his cases. Chocolate 'Snackoos' are her favorite food.
Jake Marshall- Two words: Brokeback Mountain.
Angel Starr- Sexy lunchlady with huge boobies who has a million boyfriends. Was portrayed by a younger Blanche Deveroux. She "worked" with Jake Marshall on many cases, and she hates prosecutors.
Lana Skye- Sister of Ema Skye, she is a actress on Law & Order.
Damon Gant- Child rapist who killed Jake Marshall's gay lover, who was also his brother. He is also Michael Jackson in disguise.
Maggey Byrde- A retarded birdfeeder and best whore friend of Dustin Foreskin Prince
Dustin Foreskin Prince- Some random rapist/police officer who gets killed by Retard Wellington-Boots
Retard Wellington-Boots- Blind engishman with a tendency to choke himself
Ini Miney- Like, total 60's Shaggy rip-off, man.
Morgan Fey- Whore with three kids. Behind the lazoring of Dr. Turder Brown.
Dr. Turder Brown- Insane doctor who drugged Ini. Getz lazored.
Pearl Fey- Young 9-year-old who is constantly abused by Maya and Phoenix.
Max Galactica-"Trucy? Who's Trucy?"
Regina Berry- I thought she killed Dinosaurs, but she was Meta Knight's intended target.
Moe Lawrence Curls- Porn for one and one for porn!
Acro (aka Meta Knight)- "Pepita, you will understand me!"
Adrian Andrews- Franziska's lesbian lover.
Matt Enguarde- Bad guy. You save Maya just before his lackey rapes her.
Dahlia Hawthorne-Two words: Evil Bitch
Luke Atmey-What the fux0r is Zvarri?
Ron DeLite-I almost thought he was a girl.
Desiree DeLite-Says she's Ron's wife, the truth is much stickier. And white. And full of tadpoles.
Kane Bullard-Killed by Rage Kage for blasphemy
Furio Tigre- You'se think you can put MY name in an unsych article?
Viola Cadaverini- Emo headbanger.
Jean Armstrong- THE DANCE! IT BURRRRRRRrrrrns...I also thought he was a girl.
Bikini- Holy 5h1t! Put it away, grandma!
Terry Fawles- Likes to eat solid round objects and is easily seduced by fourteen year old girls.
[edit] Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Cases
Episode 1 - The First Turnabout
You play as Phoenix Wright to protect your best friend from getting the death sentence. Of course, since you suck at lawyering at the time, the REAL bad guy is an idiot and gives you a bunch of hints.
Episode 2 - The Second Turnabout
Someone else you know is gonna get the death sentence, so you get to be their lawyer too.
Episode 3 - The Third Turnabout
A third friend is gonna get the death sentence so you're their lawyer and you have to help them with pointing at the guy and yelling "objection."
Episode 3.1415926535987932384... - The Pi Turnabout
Just kidding! This case is an easter egg put in by the developers. Ha! How clever! Zvarri!
Episode 3.5 - The Other Turnabout
Something about lawyers.
Episode 4 - The Fourth Turnabout
One of your friends dies and another one of your friends is gonna get the death sentence. You get to be their lawyer.
Episode 5 - The Fifth Turnabout
Some guy you don't even know is gonna get the death sentence, so while you're at it, you decide to help HIM too.
Episode 6 - Turnabout Sisters
Something about sisters, fingers, and the death sentence.
Episode 28 - Turnabout Drug Abuse
After Phoenix tries meth for the first time, he is forced to take as many cases as possible so he can buy more. He ends up taking the case of a serial killer, who is found guilty. The judge finally notices something different about Phoenix and investigates his house, resulting in Phoenix's arrest. Phoenix is placed in the same cell as the serial killer and becomes his wife.
Episode 29 - Turnabout Homosexual
Edgeworth misses Phoenix too much to stay away, so he visits him in jail. He finds the serial killer dead and Phoenix covered in blood. Phoenix is going to get the death sentence, so you play as Edgeworth to help him with your non-defense-lawyer powers.
Episode 30 - Everybody dies
One of your friends, who is of course an H-Bomb with sentient powers, is gonna get the death penalty. Your lawyer powers fail you and the world explodes. The EDN.
Episode 31 - Turnabout Turnabout Turnabout Turnabout
One of your friends, named Turnabout T. Turnabout, (T. standing for Turnabout of course), is accused of turning about and is going to get the death penalty, You have to turnabout with your turnabout powers to turnabout the turnabout. Turnabout.
Episode 32 - Turnabout Spoiler
Darth Vader is accused of being Luke(Atmey)'s father. This leads to someone mysterious killing 299 of the Spartans. You have to cut off Frodo's finger to drop the One Ring as the Elites and Grunts join the Heretics with the Arbiter, but avoid Aeris, who is being killed by Sephiroth. Midna, who is a hot chick, is your partner for this case. You win by recognizing Godot as the killer. At the end, you learn that in Episode 35, you're the actual killer.
Episode 33 - Turnabout Crazy
Phoenix is hearing voices in his head, and goes to see a psychiatrist. he psychiatrist is accused of murder, and you have to defend him with your lawyering powers. While you do so, you must resist listening to the voices and killing Maya. If you do kill Maya, then you will use Pearl to bring her back and everything will be back to normal. Except without the little girl with the big forehead.
Episode 34 - Turnabout Richard Simmons
One of your friends is Richard Simmons, and he's going to get the death penalty. He'll be killed and hate it. You have to use your lawyer powers to get him off the hook.
But then again, nobody likes Richard Simmons, so go ahead and let him get executed.
Episode 35 - Yes, Another Turnabout
Phoenix is accused of murder and must defend himself or get the death sentence. While worming through your lies, can you discover the truth about what happened? Unfortunately, you discover that yes, you are the killer. Don't take Meth, kids. The End?
Episode 36 - Apparently Not
You are let out of jail for good behavior (you saved the prison guard from getting the death penalty) and are free to make your own decisions. You go back to the office and take another case. Yay for freedom. You must save so-and-so from getting the death penalty or whatever. With lawyer powers. And stuff.
Episode 37 - Turnabout Comeback
This is the second case, but with a different version of the translation of the very liberal Japanese Language. Firebird Correct must prove that Aztec Fey is innocent for killing Gigli fey, her sister. The real killer is Crimson Blanco. June July has huge boobs.
Episode 37 and One Half - Turnabout Tuobanrut
You team up with El Pollo Just-teeth and defend some guy who was accused for some stuff. Hilarity ensues.
Episode 38 - Turnabout Bored
You discover that two nerds somewhere are making up cases for you on the computer. You decide to find them and kill them, but they get away. You discover that their mother (whom they were living with) is charged with murder. You must defend her with your lawyering powers and then kill her children. Von Karma'd!
Episode 39 - Episode Writer's Block
One of your friends, who is, of course, a Blue Meanie, is gonna get the death sentence, so you gotta help him with your lawyer powers.
Episode 39.42368368236586385682356 - Turnabout Qwerty
Just what the fuck is this anyway.
Episode 40 - Turnabout Stoner
One of your friends, who is unusually mellow, is being charged with murder possession, and is gonna get the death penalty two years. You say "Fuck you" and go take a murder case.
Episode 41 - Oh My God, You're 41 (and Turnabout)
Phoenix Wright travels in timeto his midlife crisis. His daughter is pregnant, he's balding, and still not married, so he buys a new car and defends somebody of murder even though (GS4 spoiler) HE'S STILL A HOBO!!!!!!!!
Episode 42 - Turnabout Life, Turnabout the Universe, and Turnabout Everything (Turnabout.)
One of your friends, who is of course a sarcastic robot, is going to get the death penalty find the question that goes to the answer to life (whichh is, for you non-Hitchhiker's fans, 42). You have to help him with your lawyering powers, but, just like the books, the universe ends when you find the question.
Episode Fortysomething - Turnabout Actually-Take-Advantage-Of-The-DS
You actually get to use your stylus and microphone, in ways other than to scare the people sitting next to you. You also do some lawyering. Actually utilizing the features of the DS was such a crazy, out-there idea that it was never emulated in the rest of the series, despite its acclaimed critical reception. "Take that!"
Then Capcom makes a sequel.
Episode 43 - Turnabout Sequel
The universe has miraculously been brought back, and Phoenix Wright finds himself with amnesia! You must find your lost memories, and learn why the hell this weird cult chick is following you everywhere. While doing this, you must defend one of your friends in a murder case, even though you've forgotten all your years in college, don't have any evidence, and feel strong homosexual attraction to the sexy, mysterious prosecutor.
Episode 44 - Turnabout Rip-Off
Adult swim, who is of course the late-night block on Cartoon Network, is making a game that's exactly the same as yours except funnier and for better systems. You sue the fuck out of them, before realizing that Capcom is licensing the game specifically because of you. You feel so honored that you... I don't know... Kill yourself or something.
Episode 45 - Turnabout Depression
Phoenix begins cutting himself after the last case. Maya tries to get him to stop, but Phoenix gets her so depressed that she starts too. Edgeworth joins in, and Phoenix is so happy to see his lover friend that he enjoys life again and goes off to take a murder case.
Episode 46 - Turnabout TCG (Turningabout Card Game)
Capcom, after their crappy DS card fighter crossover game came out, realizes that you and Resident Evil are the two favorite card types. They make a terrible cross over where you shoot zombies with The Objecting Finger's Level 20 Death Ray. TEHEDN.
Episode 47 - Turnabout Wonderland
Phoenix finds himself in a badly written fanfiction, in which he wears a dress for no apparent reason. You must go through Wonderland, fighting off a molesting Cheshire Cat, an insane homocidal hare, a guy with a big hat, and a griffin. When you get to the castle, you must defend Alice (who is here too, for some reason) and keep her from getting the death penalty. You then snap out of it and realize you really need to get help for your meth addiction.
Episode 48 - Turnabout Mary Sue
Phoenix finds himself in love with a beautiful young girl named Mary Sue. Edgeworth, despite being a homosexual, finds himself in love with her as well. The two battle for her. Godot then comes back from the dead and falls in love with Mary Sue. He kills Mary Sue in his passion. The world rejoices. Now you must defend Godot in court. He gets out of it because you claim it was "self-defense".
Episode 49 - Turnabout Godot
I met him in a court down in old Tokyo, He had a weird visor that made him look like a robot R-o-b-ot robot He walked up to me and he kicked me in the pants I asked him his name and in a dark brown voice he said godot G-o-d-ot, godot go-go-go-go godot
Well Im not the worlds most physical guy But when he punched my face he nearly broke my spine Oh my godot go-go-go-go godot Well Im not dumb but I cant understand Why looked like a cyborg and talked like a man Oh my godot go-go-go-go godot go-go-go-go godot
Well we drank coffee and lawyered all night Prosecuting when it wasn't right He threw his cup and then it hit me And then he said he came from Hell just to screw with me Well Im not one for coffee in the eye But when I looked in at his eyes well I thought "Who is godot?" go-go-go-go godot go-go-go-go godot Godot go-go-go-go godot go-go-go-go godot
I pushed him away I walked to the door I fell to the floor I got down on my knees Then I looked at him and he at me
Well thats when he started to say, "You killed my girlfriend, Mia Fey" oh, that Godot Go-go-go-go godot Girls will be boys and boys will be girls Except for godot, he's a cyborg, yeah, like a robot Ro-ro-ro-ro robot
Well Mia left home five years before And she'd never defended a case before But godot smiled and took her by the hand And said "Kitten, defend him as best as you can"
Well Im not the worlds most masculine man But I know what I am and I am a man, Im a man And so is godot No he's not a robot, godot Go-go-go-go godot Godot go-go-go-go godot go-go-go-go godot
Episode 50 - Oh My God, You're 50!
It's nine years later. You're daughter is now nearing her midlife crisis, you're completely bald (although your head is still spiky) and fat. You spend all of your your money on whores.
Episode 51 - Turnabout Immortality
Phoenix discovers his old time traveling machine and travels back to when he was 23. Now you must do all those cases over again. You go insane and travel forward again. Now you just buy anti-aging cream.
Episode 52 - Madness? This. Is. TURNABOUT!
One of your friends, who is of course a King Leonidas, is going to die, and so are 298 other people. (You know this because of the episode Turnabout Spoiler.) You decide to imprison Godot in Edgeworth's S&M chamber, but Edgeworth goes in for a private romp and it turns Godot's hair white, and causes him blindness and the ability to cry tears of blood. You buy him a robot visor from Radio Shack to make him feel better, and he changes his dress shirt and vest so he doesn't have to look at anything red ever again. It's after this that he goes crazy and throws 299 coffee cups out of his window randomly (That's a whole day's worth! Well, almost...) just as the Spartan army is going by. One man lives to tell the tale, inspiring a high-budget, action-packed, vaguely homoerotic movie. Godot gets the htaeD penalty, and is brought back from Hell just to prosecute you for vague philosophical ties to Mia Fey's death.
Episode 53 - Turnabout Laugh Track
Phoenix is going to get his own television sitcom! Jam-packed with pointy humor, this show is filled with laughs--specifically, recorded laughs. Phoenix is played by Vegeta, who goes insane because of the laugh track and kills the tape player. He is being charged with the death penalty, and Phoenix has to defend him, thus getting loads of publicity! Everybody wins! Yaaay! (except Vegeta, who is found guilty.)
Episode 54 - Hey, This Title Doesn't Have Turnabout in it! Oops.
Phoenix is bored and decides to go to Tres Bien, the French restaurant with terrible food. Chef Armstrong forces him to become a waitress and Phoenix becomes his slave. Victor Kudo comes inside and dies instantly at the sight of you dressed as a waitress. The dress is charged with murder, and you must help it with your lawyering powers.
Episode 55 - Turnabout Bom Chicka-Wah-Wah!
Phoenix buys some Axe spray. Mia Fey inhabits Maya's body and follows him around singing porno music. This causes men to die by exploding due to Mia's hawtness, and Phoenix has to defend Axe Corporation without getting so turned on he explodes, too.
Episode 56 - Turnabout Halo
Phoenix defends Master Chief against the murder of thousands upon thousands of Covenant troops (because, nowadays, they are allies). This makes no sense in the Phoenix Wright judicial system, but this is actually a clone of Phoenix from 500 years in the future. Thus, them's teh haps.
Episode 57 - Turnabout Replacement
Phoenix must find a replacement when he visits his dying grandmother in the hospital. Maya takes his place and finds herself defending Phoenix's friend, who is of course Larry Butz (thought it would be someone who wasn't in the game, didn't cha?), who is charged with murder. Maya finds him not guilty, and Larry takes her out on a date in celebration. At the restaurant they find Phoenix, who had lied about the grandmother thing, who is with Edgeworth on their anniversary.
Episode 58 - Turnabout Actually Related to the Previous Case
Larry happens to spot the couple (Phoenix and Edgeworth)while they're kissing and faints. Maya thinks he's dead and, feeling confident after her win, decides to defend Phoenix and Edgeworth in court. The two of them are about to get the death sentence when Larry walks in, proving that the miracle never happen murder never happened and you just wasted about an hour playing as Maya.
Episode 59 - Turnabout Double Entendre
Phoenix's pencil accidentally goes into the pencil box of every woman in the entire series, includiing the dead ones. He's accused of rape non-consensual pencil storage and sentenced to the gallows.
Episode 60 - Episode 60
After playing through 59 three-plus-hour cases, Phoenix gets pissed off and becomes a hobo. He then gives his badge to El Pollo Apollo Justice and, Congratulations! You've finished Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations.
Episode 61 - Turnabout Ha Ha Just Kidding
Fans decide that Apollo Justice is a stupid name and forces the young lad to give Phoenix back his badge. Phoenix continues defending people for all eternity.
Episode 62 - All Eternity
Phoenix Wright acquires the Sorcerer's Stone, the secret to immortality (even with a Meth addiction). He at first tries to smoke it, believing it a large rock of meth, but, when he fails, keeps it around because it's shiny. By the time he's 700 years old, he starts to realize he's immortal. He kills Al Gore's frozen head, and eats twenty two bananas on a Sunday.
Episode 63 - Fixing the Disaster that Last Case Was
Phoenix Wright goes back in time (again) and meets up with Maya to start defending people for all eternity once more. Unfortunately, some random dude with glasses and a scar on his forehead shows up and breaks the stone, so Phoenix dies at 757 years old. Yet another oldest man on Earth dies. How strange how they all die... like it's cursed or something.
Episode 64 - Bringing him Back Because The Game Is Named After Him Turnabout
Edgeworth uses witchcraft to bring Phoenix back to life. Phoenix is brought back, but Edgeworth now has to go to hell when he dies. Phoenix goes on a never-ending quest to save his boyfriend, but then comes back because he realizes it's not worth it. Edgeworth becomes even more emo as he waits for death to take him to hell. Maya is charged with murder and you must save her with your lawyering powers.
Episode 65 - Turnabout Death
Phoenix is appointed by the Great State of California to be The Grim Reaper's lawyer, as he is charged with killing everybody who's ever died, ever, and conspiracy to kill everyone who's alive, and ever will live. The sentence for this is the Himself Penalty. Phoenix is appointed for this because he's a slut the best lawyer ever (except, perhaps, Furio Tigre and Harvey Birdman). Phoenix wins. The judge is mysteriously found dead the next day. The coroner rules it autoerotic asphyxiation.
Episode 66 - Turnabout <insert name here>
One of Phoenix's friends, who is of course <insert name here>, is going to get the death penalty for raping and killing that guy. Phoenix loses because <insert name here> obviously did it.
Episode 67 - The Stolen Turnabout
The one episode with the most annoying character in the game: Luke Atmey. I MEAN SERIOUSLY! HE GOT VOTED MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER OF ANY GAME! EVER! AND WHAT THE HELL IS "ZVARRI" ANYWAY--oh and you also defend some wimp looking like Leia from Star Wars.
Episode 68 - Turnabout Panties
You get to play again as El Pollo Justice, and your sister's panties have been stolen from her window. You get to use your lawyer powers to find the guy and give him the death sentence. Though, he didn't even steal them because he was horny or anything, so it's pretty much a waste of time.
Episode 69 - Turnabout Bullshit
Phoenix is offered a case but turns it down since its a load of bullshit. Maya gets the death sentence. Apollo picks up the case instead in accuses Trucy's panties of being the killer. You win by yelling "OBJECTION".
Episode 70 - Turnabout's Turnabout
Phoenix's best friend Turnabout is going to get the death sentence if you do not say "objection". However, Turnabout's best friend Turnabout von Douche is the godlike prosecuter you must do battle with your lawyer powers. Von Douche wipes the floor with you and you lose your attourney badge.
Episode 71 - Turnabout Badge
Phoenix forges his attourney badge to defend Turnabout from Turnabout von Douche. Turnabout von Douche turnsabout on Turnabout and Turnabout is mind controlled by Turnabout von Douche. Von Douche knows that Pheonix has forged evidence and so he loses his badge making Appleo take over and go out with Pheonix's daughter, who takes you on a mission to find all the panties in town and make a bonfire out of them.
Episode 9001 - Turnabout Over 9000
One of Phoenix's friends, who is obviously over 9000, is going to get the death penalty, but your lawyer powers aren't over 9000, so you lose.
Episode 1227 - Turnabout Random Internet Meme
Some random prosecutor gets Rick Roll'd so you have to help him with your non-internet memed lawerly powers. This is the evidence that breaks the case
Episode x1337 - Turnabout Bobble Hat
Phoenix becomes German and has a bobble hat surgically grafted to his head. Evidence is located here
Episode 9002 - Turnabout Men In Shower
Final episode - Turnabout Grue
The most fun part of the game. You go find a grue to turnabout but you get chopped and eaten. GUILTY
NOT
HOLD IT!
Episode X1 - Turnabout Monday
4 v3ry 1337 tu4n4b0ut wh3r3 3v3ry1 t4lk5 1n 1337
[edit] Phoenix Wright: Justice for Nobody - Cases
[edit] The Lost Turnabout
Phoenix realizes he lost the keys to his office, he then thinks back to the night before and convinces himself that Edgeworth won them in a drunk game of Pass the Parcel, in his fury Phoenix went around to Edgeworth's house and slapped him around with The Finger (Much like Uncle in the Jackie Chan Adventures cartoon) after returning home Phoenix remembers the keys were in his back pocket after all.
[edit] Reunion, then Turnabout
You meet your old friend, Mr. Turnabout, after he had been gone for nearly a year training to be a medium. But after meeting him again, he is arrested for killing someone and is sent to jail. You must defend him in court. Later, you find out he really killed the victim, but since you don't want to lose you defend him anyway. First appearance of the sexy prosector Franziska von Karma, who whips Phoenix whenever he does anything. Being an uber-pervert, Phoenix enjoys this and annoys her constantly.
[edit] Turnabout Big Top
A crazy murderer clown is on the loose and it is up to you to destroy him using your finger. After you destroy him, you go to court with the charges of being a clown killer. You decide to forge evidence so you don't get in trouble. At the end, if you win, instead of you being sent to jail, Maya Fey will be sent to jail. This is where the game gets a lot more fun.
[edit] Farewell, my Turnabout
It's Christmas, and Phoenix Wright decides to go to Hell for a two week vacation. Before he leaves, he decides to go say goodbye to his friend, Turnabout. But when he goes to say goodbye to him, he's in the detention center because he was accused of killing Bob the Builder. Phoenix Wright wants to go on his vacation really bad, but he must protect his friend first. The only problem is the prosecutor of the case is an old friend, Chuck Norris, and he is one of the best prosecutors in the land.
[edit] Diet
Like most lawyers, Phoenix Wright feeds on fear, tacos, and teenagers dumb enough to ask him to take a case at dinner time, (and the occasional romp with Edgeworth). He also has been reported drinking the tears of gypsies, but we're not sure why. He is also said to eat the souls of his friends, although this trait is more often attributed to Mia. It is sometimes hinted that he and Edgeworth eat friends who present false or doctored pr0n before trial. He's silently threatened witnesses this way, saying "I will rip your penis off and shove it up your hot, hot ass if you don't reveal the REAL pr0n!" in an aggressive manner towards them. Every witness's reactions vary.
[edit] The Blue Suit
After eating a bowl of his favorite cereal, Objection'Os, Phoenix found a Blue Suit on the inside of the box, along with a lawyers badge. The Blue Suit gives Phoenix super lawyering powers, and it also makes him look snazzy. While wearing the Blue Suit, his intelligence was highly boosted, and he was able to win several court cases because of it. Well, most of them anyways, Edgeworth had just found a Magenta Suit in a different cereal box, iGiari'Gs, and his abilities went far beyond that of Phoenix's. Eventually, the Blue Suit turned out to be alive, so he killed it after beating it repeatedly with a statue of The Thinker. Phoenix now wears the dead Blue Suit all the time, to show other living suits what happens when they mess with him. They say the suit and the finger is what wins the cases. They say, no. They know. The suit waits for a day to conquer it's host, and with the power of the finger proceed to make a chain of tittiebars.
