Philip K. Dick

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Not to be confused with the Evil Twin Philip J. Fry, or Biggus Dickus.

“When baking cookies, it's a good idea to use margarine instead of butter.”

~ Unrelated Quote Guy on Philip K. Dick

Philip Kissmy Dick (December 16, 1928 – March 2, 1982) was high all the fuckin' time, man. He was tragically killed in 1982 when he was torn apart by a pack of giant red dogs that, ironically, escaped from one of his own hallucinations.

Contents 1 Major Works 2 Film Adaptations 3 Personality 4 See Also

[edit] Major Works

• Whoa, What if You Could Stop Crimes...BEFORE THEY HAPPENED? (1956)
• What If There Were Robots? Or Maybe Other Stuff? (1959)
• Hey, What if the Nazis Had Totally Won World War II? (1962)
• Man, What if You Could Have Fake Memories Implanted Into Your Brain? But What if You Already Had Fake Memories, And You Tried to Put Some More In, and it Totally Fucked You Up? (1966)
• Dude, What if There Were Robots That Looked and Acted Just Like People? (1968)
• Damn, What if There Were Robots That Looked and Acted Just Like People...and Wanted to Fucking Kill Us? (1969)
• Whoa, What if Some Dude Died? And Then All the People He Knew Found Out That He Was Still Alive, and THEY Were All Dead? (1970)
• Dude, What if Some Guy Was Trying to Find a Robot, and He Found Out HE Was the Robot? (1971)
• Shit, What If You Were an Undercover Cop, and You Were Forced to Spy on Yourself? (1977)

[edit] Film Adaptations

Several of Dick's stories have been adapted to film. These include:

• Indiana Solo: Robot Killer (1982)
• Holy Shit, That Chick Has Three Boobs! (1990)
• What the Fuck! That Guy's Got a Saw Coming Out of His Mouth! (1995)
• Whoa, That Guy Was Taking Drugs! And He Was, Like, "Whoa!" (1999)
• Hey, What If Tom Cruise Could Stop Crimes...BEFORE THEY HAPPENED? (2002)
• Shit, What if Ben Affleck Could See Into the Future, and It Made a Bunch of People Want to Fucking Kill Him? (2003)
• Fo Serious, Yo. Dope'll Fuck You Up! (2006)
• Dude, What if Nicolas Cage Could See a Few Minutes Into the Future, or Something? (2007)
• Whoa, That Guy Who Had A Saw In His Mouth Is Back Again! (2009)

[edit] Personality

Philip K. Dick was, in his time, one of the most prolific anti-drug activists in history. He is often remembered for his terrible cry, "Don't be like me, kids! Don't be like me!" He would then give a demonstration of why. Later in his career, he reversed this position after drugs helped out a bunch of his friends and prevented any problems with his pancreas.

Anyone who knew him recalls a terribly bland personality, of sound mind and wonderful health. His hobbies included shining pink lasers into peoples' eyes and then telling them it was a divine experience.

Dick never heard of the I Ching, which is hardly any surprise because that chick he knew died of cancer. He did, however, convert to Catholicism in a mental ward when the doctor there told him "The Pope is the authority", referring to the current Pope, who of course you now are.

At the time of his death, Dick was tremendously wealthy due to his works being widely accepted and universally understood.

Shortly after his death, it was discovered that, in an astounding yet fitting twist, Philip K. Dick had been a replicant all along.

[edit] See Also

• Mars
• Outer space
• Robots
• Isaac Asimov
• Arthur C. Clarke
• Indiana Solo: Robot Killer
• Minority Report
• Majority Report
• Total Recall
• Partial Recall