Phil Spector

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Phil Spector has never had a good hair day.

Phillip Harvey "Phil" Spector (born December 26, 1939) is an American musical genius, producer, and loveable psychopath/murderer. Despite producing a number of musical legends, wherein he invented the "Wall of Hair" production technique, he is best known for murdering innocent women and owning the world's largest collection of bizarre toupeés. In his spare time, Spector rules the lookalike industry as Hair Bear from The Hair Bear Bunch.

edit Early life

Spector was born as Phillip Jackson Butts in The Bronx, New York. As a young child, his father shot him in the head, partially splattering his brains; this may've damaged Phil's psyche and triggered his latter-day inclinations towards insanity, guns, and violence. However, this problem was never addressed, as the young Phil was told by his dad to grit his teeth and bear the pain.

edit Producer

In the 1960s and 1970s, Spector worked as a legendary music producer for acts such as The Ronettes, The Crystals, John Lennon, George Harrison, Bobby Bruce, Leonard Cohen, and The Ramones. He is best known for rockin' the rock 'n' roll world in 1963 with the release of The Crystals' "(Let's Dance) The Screw", which he wrote and produced. "The Screw" immediately screwed its way over all of the charts across America, where it remains to this day, and helped transform the pop music scene with Spector's lush "Wall of Hair" reverb production technique. Meanwhile in the rest of the world, music developed along different lines, and Phil Spector's name is but a forgotten murderous by-word of ancient history.

During his time as a legendary music producer, Phil pulled a gun on many people of the ages. These include: John Lennon, George Harrison, Bobby Bruce, Leonard Cohen, Dee Dee Ramone, fans who mistook Phil for Dudley Moore, and Robin Le Mesurier (son of John "Sergeant Wilson" Le Mesurier).

edit Murderer

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Phil Spector.

In 2003, Spector was convicted of second-degree murder for allegedly shooting actress Lana Clarkson. His sentence handed to him was life in jail and, more terrifying to him, cold turkey to his collection of wigs; it is because of this that Spector is currently on suicide watch.

Phil has always denied murder and said in a recent press interview that he was going to write a book titled, If I Did It, Here's How I Shot Lana in the Mouth With a Gun, That Bitch I Didn't Shoot Her; In Fact, I Tried to Stop Her from Shooting Herself by Attempting to Wrestle the Gun Out of Her Hands, Hence Why My Fingerprints Are On It, But It Went Off Before I Could Save Her.

edit See also

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