Phantasy Star Online

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Phantasy Star Online
Pso racast
Developer(s) Sonic Team
Publisher(s) SEGA
Designer(s) Your Mom
Engine 6 cylinder, turbo charged....
Latest version 6.66
Release date(s) 2001
Genre Zombifying MMORPG
Mode(s) Offline and Online, imagine that.
Rating(s) Teen: for mild violence and one single cheezy little blood animation
Platform(s) Everything but Playstation (Sega still hates Sony)
System requirements No girlfriend, a memory card, allot of cigarettes and not much else.
Monthly fee {{{fee}}}
Active players {{{players}}}

Phantasy Star Online is a MMORPG produced by Non-tendo for every system, including the GAYmboy. It is currently the last game SEGA has produced that has an average rating above 6/10 on any review site or magazine. It is well known for the zombie-like, unconscious trance it's players experience while playing. Some players have even reported falling asleep while playing the game and waking up several hours later to find out they actually increased 5 levels while they were sleeping.

edit Story

PSO takes place in a futuristic setting, in a time where giant colonies float in space, completely automated mechanized androids live among humans......and people STILL fight with swords.

As the story begins, the planet the humans were from became uninhabitable, they built some space exploring machines to find a new planet, and eventually they found "Ragol". They sent the space ship "Pioneer 1" to land and ensure the Ragol was aiight. But, something happened, they didn't return their calls, so they built "Pioneer 2" to investigate what went wrong. Kinda like in a
Did you know...
Sega didn't purposely spell 'Fantasy' with a 'Ph', Japanese people just suck at English
scary movie, whenever one person goes into a dark room and doesn't return, their idiot friends go in after them. Fucking white people. Anyway, you are a member of the hunters guild and it is your duty to investigate WTF happened, then you single handedly kill a big evil monster that was powerful enough to destroy a giant space colony. The End.

edit Gameplay

edit Fighting System


If this android chick's vagina wasn't a paper shredder, I would totally hit dat.

The fighting system used in PSO is real-time-single-button-hack-and-slash. You select a weapon, find a monster, hit the "A" button until the monster dies, heal, repeat, occasionally stopping to destroy boxes.

edit Level/ Character Development

PSO uses the traditional experience level system used since 1971 when the first RPG was made. Each monster gives you set amount of EXP., you need a set amount of EXP to advance a level, that is about it. To even further the originallity, you gain a set amount of stats each level, and the stats are the generic "Attack" "Agility" ect........Yeah.

edit Replay Value

Holy Shit does this game have replay value. The reason why is still a mystery to modern man, some theorize it is the 2nd sign of the Rapture. The game is generic in every sense but still people play it for several hundred hours. Most call PSO "the World of Warcraft of the Dreamcast..........without the advanced character development system and interesting gameplay".

edit The Phantasy Star Online World

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Phantasy Star Online.

edit Characters

edit Hunter

The Hunter class is the sword guys. They beat the shit out of shit with swords and daggers. Believe it or not, they have the highest attack stat. N00bs are fond of hunters because using hunters involves the least amount of neurological thought, sensory reaction and coordination to use.

edit Ranger

These bitches use guns, and some pretty damn cool looking guns at that. When you first start a game with a Ranger, you only do like 5 damage and it takes about 5 minutes of fighting to kill a single Booma. The fighting process for a Ranger is as follows:

  1. Run away from the enemy until your about 30 feet away.
  2. Fire a couple rounds as he walks toward you.
  3. Once he gets near you, repeat.

edit Force

Just a goofy ass name for the magic users. Like mentioned before, every aspect of PSO including the spell types are extremely original. Fire, Ice, Lightning, Heal, Attack up/ Defense up. Thats all of the spells. Enjoy. The Force characters to choose from are, Gay looking elf, Gay looking elf girl, Hot sorceress chick and Sorcerer guy who looks just like a hot sorceress chick.


Even though handheld heatseeking grenade launchers are sold at grocery markets, Kireek here would rather use a weapon Polish peasants used during the 18th century.

edit Weapons

And we thought the age of pallet swapping was over. There are about 9 weapons in the game, but there are over 200 if you count re-coloring the blade. You have your swords, daggers, halberd, handgun, rifle, machine gun, cane and rod. I know I keep saying this but I can't help but exclaim how original this game is.

edit Monsters

The first thing you notice about the enemies of PSO is their amazing A.I. They are programmed to walk in a straight line, directly towards you, if they manage to catch up to you, they swing. It is a very complex and state-of-the-art A.I. system that PSO is renowned for in the RPG community.

The actual monsters range from Space chickens, to blue gorillas that breathe fire, to various obscure robots, to some abstract shapeless gothic demon spawn things.

edit Episodes 2-4

Sequels and expansions for the game were that were released are as follows.

edit Episode 2

Episode 2 is an expansion that came with the original when it was released for the Nintendo Gaycube. It featured new levels, such as the Annoying Maze Temple Ruins and the Extremely Repetitive Spaceship level.

edit Episode 3

Episode 3 is a Card/Strategy video game based off the characters and monsters in the previous installments. Episode 3 is Star Wars meets Yu-Gi-Oh to put it simply. It features a deep, tone-deaf overvoice that allegedly brain-washes the players after a few hours of gameplay. Fourtunatly no one has ever played it long enough for that to happen.

edit Episode 4 'Blue Burst'

This is the PC version of 1 and 2 with a couple added stuff, $50 please. Man, Sega is really desperate for money aren't they?

edit See also

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