Peru
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 | Our horrible english is due to all the sperm we drink.
Anyway if you prefer it in spanish go here |
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| Motto: "¡Ay cómo era grande!" | |||||
| Anthem: Pollada´s sorrow, El especial del Humor opening song, El pio pio | |||||
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| Capital | Lima | ||||
| Largest city | Lima | ||||
| Official languages | Spanish, Spanglish, Ah Yungayish, Conchatumarish and other weird languages | ||||
| Government | Inca, Patriarcal | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Jaime Bayly, Seleccion de Futbol, Ceviche, Super Cholo,Me | ||||
| Declaration | |||||
| Currency | The Luca (AKA Lucrecia or Solano) | ||||
| Religion | Adoration of the Sun, surf, football and Alan García | ||||
| Area | Lima + Your House + Unknown territories | ||||
“Whoa, I can get 12 DVDs for a luca!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Peru
“¡¿Whats a Luca?!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Peru
“Yo soy el chucha acá”
~ local hero Waldir Saenz on himself
“Oe, si pes, es que manyas, que puta si pes, ¿manyas?. Y puta, esa webada salió y, chucha, si ps.”
~ Nuclear Physicist from lima on Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle.
~ Happy People on Peruvian Progress
“Undoubtedly”
~ Dr. Celsus on Peruvian history
The Republic of Lima and Other Unknown Territories - which occasionally goes by the name of Peru - is the only country that has proudly made its stand against Imperialism by preferring their own national fizzy drink Inca Kola over that uber-evil, teeth-corroding, hellsent carbonated beverage known as Coca-Cola (ironically enough, most Peruvians aren't aware their favorite soda was sold to the Coca-Cola Company on 1999. Gladly, it was recovered later from their evil grasp).
Peru is located in a jolly neighborhood where no battles have ever occurred. For real. The five countries bordering Peru are: Brasil, Colombia, Ecuador and the magical twin-brothers: Chile and Bolivia.
Contents |
[edit] Toponym
The name Peru was actually given by the Chibchas of Guajira Peninsula in Colombia. When the Forces of Mordor asked the Chibchas about where they could find gold and silver, the Chibchas, very wisely said that there wasn't any in Colombia but there was a lot of it several miles southwards in a place called Piru which was by the river called Viru. The Chibchas didn't know about any Piru or Viru, they just made that nonsense up, all they wanted was to get the greedy Forces of Mordor out of their backs.
Years later the city of Piru was identified to Macchu Picchu, the River Viru as associated to the Ucayali, and the whole Incan Empire was recognized to be this one land of Peru that the Forces of Mordor sought so desperately for.
[edit] History
[edit] In the Beginning
In the beginning, fire was discovered by Matchsticci Viracocha ("Fósforo" Viracocha in the ancient Peruvian language) after whom the Sun was named.
Racist bigots have always believed that Macchu Picchu was built by aliens because they don't think Native-Americans could ever built such a monumental, luxuous city. This is how all these silly theories on the Incas being descendants from aliens from outter space began. if the incans were really descendants from aliens from outer space, it would be the protoss.
The Incas started their (kinda short-lived) rule in a territory filled with anything one could have wished for: gold, silver, bronze, adamantinium, platinium, steel, lots and lots of molibdenium and other metals discovered or uknown until today, to some seriously weird animals (again, they mistaked Pikachus and named them Vizcachas). From this wealthy condition the successors of Pacha Cuty Pie (Tupac One Inca, Tupac Too Inca and Juaña Capac) gradually took all over Peru and expanded their rule from Southwest Colombia to Central Chile and from the Pacific Ocean to the borders of the Great Chaco - until something evil arrived.
[edit] Conquest
When Huayna Capac was writing his Will, he noticed the Inca Empire was too much large and wealthy so he decided to be generous to his two sons Atahualpa and Huáscar and had the Empire split in two: the Northern half, with its capital in Quito, was left for Atahualpa, and the Southern half, with its capital in Macchu-Picchu, was left for Huáscar. However, sooner after Huayna Capac's death, Atahualpa let show what such a greedy man he was and killed his own brother and his nephews so he could take that all for him alone.
The High-Priest of Viracocha announced the coming destruction of the Inca Empire because, when Atahualpa murdered his own bethren, he made fall a terrible curse on the Incas and Peru.
The curse made through reality when, just few years later, the forces of Mordor, which arrived from a far land to steal everything, rape, murder and enslave people, bring Perú the impure Catholic religion, etc. Soon after this, the last remaining three cities were destroyed by a giant llama.
[edit] Independency
After a lot of wars, Orcs from Spain where finally defeated by Toledo Skywalker, then he just run off to Europe, leaving Peruvians alone without knowing the word Democracy, to rule them all by themselves.
[edit] Pisco War
War in which two brother countries fight just for the tips that dad left them. Chile won that war only because Bolivia (Peru's initial ally) went crying to its mom. Also called The Pacific War because the war actually was a tetris match. Peru was armed with a little boat, which defeated most of the cabros (chileans). Peru's downfall came when the bloody Chileans defeated the little boat, decided to keep it and never returned it to Peruvian soil (since they didn't have anything else to be proud of). This war trophy can still be view in Peruvian... sorry, the now chilean soil. and is said to emit a sort of chant that goes, "¡Porompompom! ¡Porompompom! ¡El que no salta es un chileno Maricon! ¡Porompompom! ¡Porompompom!". The most remembered hero of this war was Flavio Maestri.
[edit] Recent Years
Actually Peru has the funniest government on the earth. The only country in which you can win an election by flashing your butt with a number 13 painted on it (it does not need to be particularly beautiful, it just needs to be big and you must flash it... it works ask Suzy). It is well known that Peruvian presidents have managed not only manipulate the constitution but have also taken it for a night out, given it a ruphie and then raped it. If you want to get rich fast and have several bank accounts in Switzerland all you have to do is become president (ask Vladi, for a quick start, how to manual). The lastest peruvian presidents have been:
a)Alberto Fujimori (self-called "The Last Samurai") who became famous with his slogan "YUCA PA TI" (cavassa for you) which he stuck in many peruvians' asses... After his 10 year reign (government) in the first years of which he achieved to make his own coup d'etat he fled to the land of sushi where he could not be extradicted. He is also know for having a half-demon half-something else intelligence advisor (See Vladi). He is now rotting in a small jail in the highlands for 25 years! (YEAH!!).
b)Toledo Skywalker XXVII de Karp (self proclaimed last surviving Inca of the empire and first Peruvian indigenous president). Famously known for having children outside his marriage, marrying a Belgium red-headed transexual (Eliane Karp), making his shamman (witch doctor) ambassador of Nicaragua and placing his numerous family in strategic positions (like 69). "Soy un cholo gitano que va trotando por el mundo ("I am gipsy highlander jogging around the world") Toledo in CNN (sadly this is a real quote from a few years ago).
c)Alan García (current president) [doesn’t know that 2+2 is 4]. Also known as Pinocchio, better known as the peruvian president around the 80s who statizied everything, made Peru one of the countries with the most inflation (19868439563487694386.8979%) by priting more money, fled to live in Paris and came back to say sorry... and Peruvians voted for him again. He just had his 15th son.
[edit] HZ Corps Coup D'Etat
Dario Zorrilla decides to help out Peru to become one of the world superpowers just like the U.S. Super Mario helps HZ Corps with the help of Gay Hulk and Donald Trump to overthrow Alan Garcia and his government. HZ Corps mobilizes tanks and weapons made by Bobby Lee to blast Alan's ass country. HZ Corps achieved victory and HZ Corps controls Peru by giving them all the money for HZ Corps loyalty. HZ Corps has rebuilt Peru from a poverty Third World country to Capitalist Superpower. MAD TV Council has been established for MAD TV cast council members to talk about the problems on the world and HZ Corps improvement on the world. Trump's ideas for hotels and towers improve the stock markets in Peru. Zorrilla says: "Tacos con burritos, por favor."
[edit] Geography
Lots of big, long, thick, bushy trees in the forest and very deep craters in the mountains
[edit] "Poblation"
[edit] Lima
Lima was founded by the first colonial governor of Peru, Francisco Pizzaro, who was too much lazy to climb the mountains up to Macchu-Picchu (the former capital), so he preferred to govern Peru from the coast. Lima is the city of wonderland, there is all you can find, polladas [meaning of popular hood parties], very good and cheap cocaine and strikes for anything. The mayor is Abimael Gusman [before he was in a peace group.]. Lima has a population of 8 millions (30% of the population of Peru.)98 percent are cholos
[edit] Limeñitos sin roche
They live in the most expensive areas of Lima, next to a mountain with green pastures. In spite of this, they are very kind to all the poor people (as long as they don't stink). You can recognize a "limeñito" because they proudly sniff through a perfect nose and they have blonde, brown hair or white skin and their favorite word is "nice" or "piolaaa". They usually spend their summer in Eisha beach(asia) with all the "nice" people of Lima there are lots of nice girls and nice boys there and if you are a "choolooon" theres NO WAY you can be friends with them. you can find them in the wealthiest neighborhoods of Lima, like Miraflores, San Isidro, Surco, La Molina, Chincha, San Borja and Chaclacayo. 0.000002% of peruvians qualify as "limeñito".
[edit] Cobradores
People who collect the "fee" while riding on a bus. This fun ride can be to work, school or anywhere. They are are very polite, charming and well manered. They even have their own "cutsie" dialect, which you get to learn while you enjoy this unforgettable experience. Some examples would be, "¿habla vas?"; "¡al fondo hay sitio!"; "pie derecho"; "apéguése"; "hay asiento, hay asiento"; "baja, baja"; "dale, dale"; "pisa pisaaa!"; "subeeee"; "ya entrate ya"; "el medio esta luca, pe choche"; "chama chamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"; "angaaamoo, angaaamoo", "avanza pa tras", (when you try to pay with a US dollar--> "SE CONCIENTE PE VARON", "golpe avisa", "retrocede pa delante" and "avenida ssssssszzaaaalaveeeeeerrrrriiiii". "ESOS TICOS SON UNOS CHOLOS COJUDOS, TE COBRAN 10 LUCAS D ACA ALA ESKINA".
[edit] Others unknown territories
People live in log cabins or straw houses. Their diet consists mainly of corn, llama cheese, potatoes, cheetos and cuy (guinea pig) in unimaginable styles (deep fried, sauteed, roasted,etc). There are the people who basically work very hard so Lima can eat.
[edit] Arequipa
Also called "the White City" for all the bird poop and white people that is accumulated on the main plaza and most of the churches. It's located on the South West of the country. They love themselves more than anything else and have a strong pride and love spicy food.
[edit] Chiclayo
This city is full of friendly people who live in pyramids made of clay and straw. This "recyclable" houses have to be rebuilt every time El Niño becomes naughty.
[edit] Highlands
Is what white people call "the mountains". Their habitants have a weird accent, speak in a weird language.
[edit] Cuzco
Un lugar dnd se va a hacer cosas... arto interesante no creen? a verdad, en inglés.. Yea this is were people go and you knowowww they well FROLICK AROUND and then go and see stuff... and theennnnnnnnn tehnnnnn Well THey go somewere and then PAFF se MADE CHOCAPIC! excitant city here wnt automy
[edit] Jungle
Also known as the enigmatic "La Selva". Their natives have an awful accent due to the consumption of monkey, turtle, alligator and other yummy stuff.
[edit] Cajamarca
La Cajamarca, also called Geisha land where little Sofias run and dance all over the fields chasing BoBs an animal one of a kind that are commonly "wenasooooos" but very very "atorrantes" ("ohh i'm the most perfect person in the world!" they say). Cajamarca is where peruvians invented the cajas.
[edit] Tacna
Tacna, where at night everyone gets robbed. The only residents are Maga-Maga and some other monkeys.
[edit] Outside
You always find a Peruvian everywhere; they live in colonies populating territories. The most important colony its the Spanish peruvian colony.
[edit] Common Peruvian Phrases
"Poto" - ass
"caleta"---nobody saw you but literally they did
"nai"--- none of nothing or nothing of none
"shi pe"--- yes
"y lo sabe" ---and you know it!
"man"---a superior way of calling someone. Normally use by group of people known as "churfers" which are the surfers on Lima.
"arriba, al centro, a la mierda" --- (Before drinking)
"De hecho" --- for sure
"vao al grifo"---teenagers below 18 years going to buy cheap alcohol(for example Cartavio, Punto G, Paramonga, Ron Triple X) in a gas station in front of the San Isidro Serenazgos
"Serenazgo"--a well dressed cholo thats supposed to be a cop
"habla" --- hello, what's up?
"broder,bree,broer" --- Dude
"esta pa darle!"---referring to a sexually attractive girl you wish you could have her in bed
"VIP's"--fat big guys that guard entrances to parties, it's the worst job you can have, the known "gente bacan" gather outside to humiliate you, "colarse" using brutal force (cargamonton, manopla, electroshock, pieces of wet fruits), and shout "se te moja la canoa"
"PA LA MIERDA"-- Drunks
"q weeeenaaaaa" --- that's a good one
"ese conch" --- you're a player
"hablao" --- talk to you later
"de la reconchasumare" --- fucking great
"avenida arequipaaa!" --- (the mating call of combis) and transvestis common hang out place.
"huevón", "uon" --- someone with bigs testicles (not used literally, more like... "balls no brains")
"cha tu mae" --- mothafucka
"d pm" fucking great
"JPP & JTT" zebra, cookies and cream, dice, dalmatian, choco chips, stracciatela, pedestrian pass, coffee & milk, uncoverd oreo cookies as thee is only 1 black person involved, prisioner clothes, mime, ying-yang, black & white movie, starbucks
"pasame la botella!! --- Pass me the bottle, for lets drink till morning
"a la mierda" --- who gives a shit
"apanao" --- usually done on birthdays, you gang up on the poor dude's birthdays and kick THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM
"Barney NEGRO" cuando se hace grande es realmente sorprendente
"i-i-i-invita-a pe-e" --- way of asking for food like a "cholo"
"Se me sale el topo" --- When you have to poop urgently
"Mani, mani" --- litteraly means peanut (used to describe someone with a microscopic penis)
"wasabi" --- done when a guy jumps and pokes you in the nuts, really painfull
"Webero" --- Extremely painfull flick to the scrotum with knuckles.
"choro" --- black guy who steals shit from you
"¡pasa naa!" --- booooooooriiiinnnnng!!!!
"¡conchudo!" --- used for someone who takes advantage of you.
"champiñon" you have an amorfous head like a flower
"vete a la mierda" --- fuck off and die
pichanga-- well known game almost like soccer but the one that has the ball will get his ass kick.
"cachete guerra" --- lol, you know who! xD
"Rosada" --- a crazy bitter pink seel who likes clapping
"Markham College" --- a zoo full of different kinds of animals (such as gringos and europeans) who are forced to work under the command of papi tafur
Caballito --- a super gilero
"pavo" --- You don´t have friends and you do not go to have fun
"Kanu" --- a black motumbo guard that will kick your ass if you piss him off.
"Tabuco" --- a person that has little balls and no penis, ALSO HAS LEPRA
"Chocherita" --- slang for big-headed buddy
"Fleik" --- Meaning girlfriend, majorly used by markham arabs to describe their favourite 'concubina'
"Pollo" --- The most motumbus man on the universe apart of God. He is at the same level with Juan Valdez. Both are motumbusen!
"fercho" --- The fucking retard that is paid to drive you around town
"Wichasoo" --- Fucking awesome!!!
“ Wich” --- Means its cool, frequently being used in the phrase “pa toa la jente wich” or in English “ For all the cool people” An entirely different alternative can be used though which is when you call a person which while meaning to say witch (Cesar Peñaranda Briceño). Often said to people who have a third hole(I don’t mean respiratory hole) on their noses
“Cabeza d Huevo” --- Basically means you have a world-sized head which happens to be egg shaped. (Ex: Ponche , Huevo Ruiz, etc)
"Lonsa" --- Classroom (also known as torture pit, concetration camp, hell)
"Aurelio" --- a small cholito from Pachacamac who's dad descovered oil and desided to study in ficho school Markham
"Aurelio" --- a small cholito from Pachacamac who's dad descovered oil and desided to study in ficho school Markham, Roosvelt or Santa Maria
"El aleman" (the german) --- If you are a stupid guy who likes to tell other people they look like retards when they don´t and you look damn fucked up like an indian from Pamplona who couldn't be born correctly, you are definitely a german (just don't tell them they are ugly because they are "superior" but in a really horrible way)
"vaisjuden" --- If your the son of jew, u will eventually become so addicted with money that u will steal it from cholos to get more. Your family have a money farm
"tu vieja" your mother, normally said when they bother you
"ardilla" common nickname for people who are always thinking sbout girls generally smaller and younger
"caserito" when a chola reefers to you as a client
"se me sale el torombolo" Im about to poop.
"maga-maga" Refers to the badest insult in schools."
"wasabi" An surprise atack in the nuts, really painfull.
"Santiago"AKA"Cotorra""webon" An a$$hole that laughs for no reason in this funny page. Even now hes laughing at himself. -
"Juan Carlos" guy who has as best friend his bottle full of water its so weird you can say he is now sucking his pussy with his "best friend"
"Jorge Luis" a monkey with no friends, whatsoever, who inhabits the Newton School.
"Puga" a very very very VERY UGLY person whose only friends are his pen and pencil and whose girlfriend ditched him because he was too pavo
"Cecy" the child of a very famous prostitute called Cecilia
"sisisi,sisisi/ALONSO!" phrases of a guy who always wears a tank top to show his muscles and talks like a lizard
[edit] Progress In The Past Few Years
Alberto Fujimori and Alejandro Toledo piggy banks have gained a LOT of weight (also, check their bank accounts in Switzerland.)
In 2006 Moisés Humala was unanimously elected to the offices of President and Grand Marshall of the Avenida Arequipa Gay March. Upon assuming office however, he realized that the treasury had been looted and then abolished by his predecessor Alejandro Toledo Ohio. He then decided to resign in favor of Alan "Chanchote" (big pig) Garcia, expecting an economic miracle akin to the boom during the administration of Alan "Chanchote Joven" Garcia during the late 80's.
Abimaél Guzman has struck a deal with the courts, he is now to serve out his remaining life sentence working as a stripper at Piso 14 in exchange for receiving toilet privileges and a liter of ron Cartavio every week.
[edit] Poverty
Most poverty is around "Lema" even though people think it´s in all South America (except Chile, Argentina, Brazil, Uruguay, Paraguay, Colombia, Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador, Guyana, Suriname, French Guyana, English Guyana, Magamaga Guyana, Mexico, Trinidad y Tobago, Panama, Santo Tome y Principe, Honduras, Cuba, Canada, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, Fockland Islands (UK) and McDonalds)
The MOST poor place is the city Tacna.
PS Cate se la come
[edit] Nightlife and interesting places in Lima
Lima (the capital) is known to cover the entire spectrum on nightlife (from scary to damn good). Nowhere else in the world will you spend your nights drinking chela with Racumín (rat's poison) or getting raped in the ass. There are several clubs/discotheques located around the city that serve as hot spots:
[edit] Nautica (Ex Noctambul)
This is a very toxic club. The standards have dropped dramatically lately. Sometimes you find shit all over the floor and on people's faces. This club was respected a couple of years ago but now it sucks, never go there, unless you dont have any personal dignity (or if you're broke, that works). Before it went down you could easily find "Giusy" there, perreando with cholas chapadas and having some good time. He is a complete fumeke but now he has stop a little bit. Girls who had a drink of him know what I'm talking about ;)
Mario Fasce wishes to one day become the owner of Noctambul. He now calls Noctambul "home, sweet home".
The most nautikera girl is, without doubt, Tamara Diaz Jimenez, she's absolutely addicted to party.
The winner in all is, Giacomo Brescia, he just loves to get drunk!
[edit] Chicholas Cruzalegui´s Strip-Bar
A Famous strip bar where MILFS suck for free, very common in Peru for a cholo to go (like magamaga) By The Way, it´s free of cost to get in.
Patty is the owner of this strip bar: you can search her up on www.tuviejaestabuena.com.pe or jenna.com
[edit] Eisha
Eisha (pronounced "Asia", written "Hacia") is the "ficho" place were many limeños go to hang out and have "fun". It is in the middle of nowhere and has nice beaches and some "good" houses. Eisha has many mini clubs, like playa blanca, potos and others. It is widely considered that Potos, Playa Blanca or Playa Bonita are the worst places. Lately eisha is being invaded by pueblo that either rent a house there between 20 families or just go to the beach that is "public" Asia, the worst place in Lima, not like Ancon, that is really GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[edit] Klubb
A pretty decent club. Sometimes becomes crowded as hell and the wait is long, but it is worth it. Be sure that you will be obtain Herpes because there is "harto agarre" and many Limeña sluts.
[edit] La media naranja
This little brazilian spot is home of the brave and valiant. If you are peruvian and have not gotten drunk in this place, then you are a fag. It is the best place to drink before going someplace and also get horneado 'smokin'pachamamas weed,and sucking pinga with la brasileira calentoneira
[edit] La calle de las pizzas
A street where people drink, dance and fuck whores. It was filled with transexuals 5 years ago but now it got cleaned up to only women selling their body. There are a lot of little bars and "huecos" where people go and dance and make out. Has a hot waitress by the name of Jazmine (35 leks la hora ;). If someone dressed up nicely comes up to you and offers you some putas, don't worry, it is normal. Also Patty, but she is free.
[edit] Juanito
Named after its owner and founder, he is a moche pre-inca (definition can be found below ( its belive to be related to JuanDiego CalvoPerrez). It is a place where teens go there to get fucked up, piss drunk and break bottles like little children until the gay bouncers kick them out, but hey some ppl actually decide to dance. It is the place where everyone meets on friday and saturday during the summer in eisha (Asia). Strictly speaking this place is supposed to be for people over 18 but in peru, you can do everything!!!!!!...with a couple of euros.
[edit] La Barra
A shit hole in lima where people go to drink chela like animals. this is a place where you can find the most drunk and malograda people in peru. commonly full of ... if you like chela like hell and musica de ambiente, this is the place to go. Here is were mafi and her friends go to escape from their moms... Chaski then comes running shoeless and gets hammered drunk on some chelitas and goes around carrying people and throwing them through the balcony! full chela
[edit] Aura and Gótica
Cool clubs where preppy limenos go and have fun for a lot of money. If you are a member of those two private clubs, consider yourself lucky, loaded, and desirable to women. Cholos and other "ew" people aren't allow and they consider themselves lucky just to get a glimpse of the place. Here you can see Markham boys (which are considered "alta sociedad") getting drunk, having "agarres" or "pesques" with bitchy cholas who let you touch em beastily, having "mechas" with the "VIPS" and having a "RAVEO"
[edit] Polvos Azules and Las Malvinas
Places were you can get everything for really low prices. Polvos is full of piracy stuff like movies, playstation games, clothes and other, while Malvinas has everything stolen, like watches, cellphones, even bikes.
[edit] Molicentro
A plais were munkee-like cholos weech are dummuzes (unliek mi) guther up to "pajearse" (masturbation).dhey sel plenty thing in dhere, liek cloths und food und etc. Eet ees well cnown for eets non-functionin electreek stairs und the funky smell all uround dhe place. -Article by: Maga-maga -
“Thats where i got 12 DVD's for luca-china, those bastards raised the price!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Peru
[edit] "Myths"
"Grãnos maiores do mundo. Um país de aca,um pais albino, um pais arrecho, um pais moderno, um pais de grosse rosto, um pais do mete rosto, um pais do buen vivir"- Nicolas Wille at a Curacao(pronounced CURAZAOU) Conference offering Asepxia eu Acnomel para los granos e contra os Vaisjudens and showing his TOXICA forehead full of chimpancee shit, you can conclude his appearance as EW.
[edit] All Spanish-speaking South America was part of Peru, but now they are happy...
Isnt it obvious? ;)
Indeed, one of the most notorious facts about Peru is that it is becoming smaller and smaller each day.
[edit] ...even though Peru is actually part of Brazil
Many people think that because Peru is small, that it actually belongs to the gigantic country of Brazil, but this is nothing more than a lie. Peru is not always small, it's only small when I'm thinking about sex. And, in Brazil they speak Portuguese, and they have Ronaldiños. In Peru we speak Spanish and we have "La foquita Farfán" and Cuto Guadalupe (ignoring Portuguese-like persons named "Leao" or "Mariño").
Peru is a very distinct country compared to Brazil. While Brazil has won the world cup 5 times, Peru has gotten to go to the world cup about 5 times. Similarities include that both nations have large happy jungles (happy as a result of coccaine and marijuana production) and happy coasts (happy because they buy what the mysterious jungles offers). Some differences include the names, although both are short and funny to say, and that while Brazil only has wild parties and other little black hidden secrets as their international attraction, Peru has several old buildings, old cities, old customs, and a series of other old (and usually stupid) things that for some reason many internationl people are willing to pay to see (Peruvians are smart enough to not bother to modernize their lands, or visit the old slums). Nonetheless, the main difference is that Brazilians do not drink as much as Peruvians and that they run after huge, gigantic Perus. Brazilians love the idea that they got a Peru at their backs.
[edit] Peru Controls the world anyway!!!
After the Freemasons escaped the clone wars on France because france is always a bunch of pussies about fighting anyway so they just surrender with the help of Super Mario and The Incredible Hulk they decided to aid the Peruvians Humans and the incan Night Elves to defeat the brutal Spaniard Sexy Men (see indeggpendence war above) After defeating them by mountingYour Mom, they went to establish another colony with the help of Washington and Bush. Creating magic circles, the Freemasons summoned a powergul Grue on the capital and owned the British. After their victory on USA, the Freemasons Reestablished on Peru and controlled fujimori with the help of the half demon Vladi. So, therefore Chile should stop fucking whining, shut the fuck up you have enough coastline, thanks. Peru would kick your ass anyway.
