Periwinkle

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Periwinkle

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Experts agree this is most likely Periwinkle.

“Periwinkle, The most bad ass color ever.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Periwinkle
“Periwinkle is Amazing!!!”
~ Captian Obvious on Periwinkle
“Periwinkle I never took no Periwinkle!”
~ Barry Bonds on Periwinkle
“SSSSHHHHAAARRRROOOONNN!!!!”
~ Ozzy Osbourne on just about everything
“NO IM NOT FUCKING GAY!!!!”
~ Gay Guy wearing periwinkle wearing Periwinkle

Periwinkle is a color that is sort of a purple blueish color? It is also thought to be the only color that no one is racist against because it is considered to be just too bad ass.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Periwinkle.
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Did you know...
Periwinkle is the only 100% acurate form of birth control

Early History of Periwinkle

Periwinkle is normally overlooked by most people as simply another stupid color, these people have never learned the suprising history of the color Periwinkle. Periwinkle was first discovered by the Ancient Egyptians who harnessed the power of the color periwinkle and used it to build the pyramids. After the Ancient Egyptians were completely pwned at Xbox by the Romans they went ALL CAPS RAGE and comitted mass suicide. This caused the ultimate secret of the color periwinkle to be lost in the sands of Egypt. Many believed that the color periwinkle was a myth until it was rediscovered by a Nazi archeology team similar to the ones seen in Indiana Jones. Then Hilter killed all of the Nazis that new the secret of periwnikle so that he could be the only one who new this secret. Hitler used his new found God-like powers to destroy half of the Canadians on earth the rest of the world was so happy that Nazis had done this they agreed on a peace treaty that would allow Hitler to live as long as he killed Justin Bieber unfortunatly Hitler was never able to hold upon his side of the deal and was killed. Thus the secret nature of Periwinkle was once again lost to the world.

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The color periwinkle is thought to be highly flammable.

Rediscovery of Periwinkle

The color Periwinkle was finally rediscovered by Michael Jackson who used it to become a succesful music artist and then shared his discovery with the world. The color periwinkle though had so many life hazards it was only used by Crazy Rich people like Steve Jobbs that used it to create Apple.

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This man learned the dangers of Periwinkle the hard way.

Periwinkle in Sports

The first major athlete to harness the power of periwinkle was Barry Bonds, quickly followed by the rest of the athletes in the world. Periwinkle was soon banned from every sport except for Hockey even though everyone knows that's not a real sport. Periwinkle though still used by Athletes to this day saw a massive decline in use during the early 2000's after several influential athletes including Derek Jeter spontaneosly combusted from over use.


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The symbol of the Church of Perwinkle.

The Church of Periwinkle

Once most of the world realized that Periwinkle was the most amazing thing ever, many decided to devote there lives to it. The Monks of Periwinkle based in the solitary location of Los Angeles, California created the First Church of Periwinkle. The Church of Periwinkle is currently the fastest growing religion in the world. They claim that Periwinkle is the reason for everything good in the world and that pansy colors like red and blue are the cause for everything bad in the world (like Muslims). The Church of Periwinkles holy book is called the Color Wheel. They believe that the only thing that can stand in the way of the mighty path of periwinkle is the evil Wikipedia. In the book of Colorvations it says that in the end the armies of Wikipedia and the almighty periwinkle will face off which will lead to the ultimate destruction of Wikipedia. Then the earth will become the perfect world it was meant to be.

Things that are Periwinkle

  • The Situation's Abs
  • Black Jesus
  • Everything that is Amazing

Sources

Chuck Norris told me.

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