Perish

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“It's like a pear”
~ Oscar Wilde on the word Perish

edit History of Persish

The original idea of 'perishing' was originally created by the Babylonians, in Babylon. They came up with the idea when they first listened to the widely unpopular song 'Babylon' by David Gray. They found it incredibly offensive to their culture, in particular, the line 'Turning over TV stations.' This is simply because they have only one television channel, showing nothing but porn all day long. Thus, they wouldn't change the television channel even if they could.

Porn
An example of Hard Core babylonian porn.

The idea of Perishment was made considerably more popular by the 1882 series 'the west wing'. It was eased into the plot easily on the very last easy episode of the first series. It was used as a clever means to gain escape from that modified white house, that consisted of just one 'oval' room, which was in fact square, and a never ending hallway in which the characters would constantly walk down and make up funny words as a means to entertain themselves. It did not work. Finally, the characters chose to simply perish, instead of living such a boring and unsatisfying life.

It took the creators another three series to finish that particular plot line.

edit To Perish, vb, Per'ish.

The verb perish is the only form of the word widely known to the world. It means, in laymans terms, to blow up. The event of Perishisation comes about when you are the most hated person in your group of friends. This person is the one person in each 'gang,' if you will, that everyone else in the gang makes fun of, both behind their back and to their face. (On a side note, if you can't think of the person in your group of friends who everyone makes fun of, it means that person is YOU!). Perisatronism (Perisus Rejectus) occurs at exactly the time that this rejected member of the group of friends no longer becomes fun to annoy, mock or rape. The remainder of the group will begin to 'phase out' the reject and, after several months of excruciating pain, the loner's limbs will begin to, one by one, either implode or explode (it depends on the average carbohydrate intake per day of the reject). This will begin will the left foot, and end with the head.

It is said to be a most painful and entertaining occurance.

edit The Science

Implosion=(average minutes of laughter at loner's expense per hour*general girth of the reject)/weight on jupiters 3rd and 4th moons*(carbohydrate intake of +7)-3

Explosion=(average minutes of laughter at loner's expense per hour*general girht of the reject)/weight on saturn's seventh ring*(carbohydrate intake of -7)+3

edit Unknown Relations

The word 'perish' also has the following meanings:

Chicken

Clock

Recycling

Utopia

Helicopter

Filofax

Television Porn

Deodorant

Catnip

Maximisation

Cross Multiplication

In some cultures, shirt.

edit People who have Perished

Here is a list of people who have perished, or who are in possession of one or more of the objects that oftentimes go under the alias of perish:

Oscar Wilde

George W. Bush

Katie Holmes' placenta

Peter Kay

Silent Bob - c'mon, he was totally the most mocked in Dogma

Doctor Who - who else do you know who was so hated, he was sent THROUGH TIME to get rid of?

My pet cat

That guy who no one can remember his name...

Your Mom


If any of them had souls, we would pray for them.

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