People's Republic of Theory

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“I can't prove it's existence, but I'd welcome anyone to try and disprove it.”
~ Albert Einstein on the People's Republic of Theory
“We can prove our own existence...”
~ Opening line of the Theoretic national anthem
“...with our own theory!”
~ Last line of the Theoretic national anthem
“There is no such thing as a existent or a non-existent country.”
~ Oscar Wilde on the People's Republic of Theory

Contents


The People's Republic of Theory is a country in South-East Europe which existence is highly hypothetical. It is known for being the only country were all the abandonned ideas of mankind still work. From Pythagorean maths to Augustinian theology: all of these ideas are still practiced here commonly, with stunning results. The best known example of this, is their actually working communist regime. Hence the famous phrase "In Theory communism works". The country was united in 1640 with the marriage of Hamlet in 1463 and Queen Victoria in 132 B.C. As a result of this marriage between an historical (Queen Victoria) and a non-existent figure (Hamlet), the actual existance of the country is very much a point of discussion.

[edit] The History of Theory

The history of Theory is divided in three major periods: the Existent Era, the Non-Existent Era and the Hypothetical Era. Between the latter two there was a period of civil war called the pseudo-warring non-states.

[edit] Existent Era (132 B.C. - 1463 A.D)

This period spans the reign of Queen Victoria over Theory, then called the Theoretic Empire. Therefore it is also called the Imperial Era. Historians believe the country to have actually existed in this era, because the existence of the sovereign is indisputable. Although recent research contradicts this, stating that Victoria only existed in the nineteenth century, and therefore didn't exist in 132 B.C., the majority of historians still accept the existence of Theory in this era.

[edit] Non-existent Era (1464 - 1469)

A coup d'état in 1463 made an end to the prosperous reign of Queen Victoria. The fictional character Hamlet seized power with the help of an imaginary, and therefore invulnerable army. Victoria decided to retire without resistance and retrieted to Ibiza "to have a splendidly amusing time". Hamlet transformed the Theoretic Empire into a socialist state, the People's Republic of Theory. Socialism was at the time a non-existing ideology.

It is said that Karl Marx would later come to Theory and steal the Theoretic concepts for his own Communist Manifesto. This also explains why communism works in Theory, while marxism fails everywhere: that fucking kraut just didn't understand the complex Theoretical institutions! Fucking moron!

[edit] Pseudo-warring non-states (1469 - 1639)

In 1469 Victoria got tired of screwing Spaniards and scoring xtc on Ibiza, so she came back to retake her throne. She took with her an army of very much existing, horny Spanish poofters to fuck the new socialist regime in the arse. It is told the Hamlet couldn't sit on the throne for four years after a visit of one of Victoria's regiments. She used this opportunity to go and sit on it herself. But Hamlet really, really, really wanted his precious throne back and challenged Queen Victoria for a mud-wrestling duel in the garden to decide upon the matter. It took 170 years of non-stop wrestling until Hamlet accidently impregnated Victoria in the course of events. They were forced to marry in 1640, and so they united the country. Because of the natural male dominance within marriage, Victoria had to accept Hamlets re-establishment of the People's Republic of Theory.

[edit] Hypothetical Era (1640 - present)

Hamlet and Victoria ruled together over the country until her birth in 1819. From then on Hamlet ruled alone as a dictator. Recently, due to ilness, Hamlet needed to pass on government to his fictional brother Raùl, but he still holds the title of Lord Protector of Socialism in the Non-Existent and Hypothetical world. Hamlet is believed to pass over his full sovereignity on to his brother, the moment he's decided whether he wants to be or not.

“Get on with it, thou bloody Danish retard!”
~ Hamlets speech-writer William Shakespeare after getting a lucrative offer from Barack Obama's writing team.
“This man is not black, nor white. He is completely fictional, and therefore I admire him.”
~ Barack Obama on Hamlet
“The moor pays me better.”
~ William Shakespeare on leaving Hamlets service for Obama.
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