Penguin
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Long ago Penguins (it's also pronounced by some as..Pinguin...AKA South Africans) and Humans fought a war for the galaxy, and after a thousand years of war with quadrillions dead, humans did the unthinkable in a last desperate act - humans denied their enemy victory. As remaining human forces fell back to earth, humans razed all worlds with orbital bombardment. Humans won the P-Day Invasion only to fight a losing battle against overwhelming odds. Only one inhabitable planet remains for humans - Earth, which the penguins now have a foothold on. We are now in a corner some say we put ourselves in. Fail humans fail.
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[edit] Penguin --(AKA Pinguin)
They are an evil adorable race with no sense of mercy. They have a cold collective thought and function somewhat like a hive mind. All that we know of them is that they kill all life encountered. In the words of lord guin "We have no beginning we have no end we are infinite. Before us you are nothing. We are the end of everything."
Nobody knows exactly where the penguins came from, but leading scientists have come to the conclusion that they come from somewhere extra galactic.
Warning: the Penguin Death Squad will hunt you down for reading this. I suggest you lock your doors and board up your windows. Oh, and watch your mail, television, radio, and other media output devices - the PDS has ways of getting to you, and into your mind.
The penguins came first for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then the penguins came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then the penguins came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then the penguins came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then the penguins came for me,
and there was nobody left to speak up for me.
It is now that we as humans must stand and be strong. Long is the hour that man fights for peace. We have seen it, we have breathed it, and now we will live it! We all know that we have a right to life. It is a right to be free! Our fight is not for kingdom or country. It is not for spoils or financial gain. We will fight for that which matters most! Our existance! Let this day be the day that we yell out from holy heaven to Earth! No penguin should be given pity nor remorse. We must hit them swiftly, and bluntly before they hit us again! So stand with me now brothers as I say this!
It is a privilege to fight!
[edit] The Invasion
Unfortunately for us, the massive penguin invasion has begun. The penguins have infiltrated various important places including the White House, NERV, the Great Wall of China, Switzerland and France (as if it would ever help them), as well as their home base of Youngstown and their civilian colony in Antarctica, which is used to help raise their numbers here on Earth.
There have been reports of suicide penguins gathering in Antarctica, all ready to die!
[edit] The Milky Way War
Penguins began their invasion of the Milky Way because their galaxy was destroyed by civil war. They built massive ships and left for a new home. They arrived in the our galaxy just when we humans thought our great wars were over for good. Faced with an unimaginably savage and technologically advanced enemy, the human worlds soon began to fall almost without opposition because the humans had no real military leadership to stand up to the penguin onslaught.
The humans eventually built a fleet of ships and a ground force but, due to poor leadership and morale, humans suffered many defeats. Then, one day Jesus appeared before their failing troops and, under his leadership, victory soon seemed certain. That is, until he was captured by the Penguin Death Squad (PDS). No one knows what happened to him, and no one has seen him since. Shortly after Jesus' capture (and possible torture and violent murder, considering the heartless tendencies of his captors) the penguins began to recapture all the worlds retaken by the humans during Jesus' leadership. Not too soon after, the humans were backed into a corner, facing certain defeat. It was then that the human military leaders decided to do what they do best - destroy everything. 1/4 of the human race was lost on P-Day, it is now unknown whether an evacuation of these worlds was ever issued.
[edit] Penguin Spyware
In their constant attempt to destroy all humanity and rule the earth, penguins have developed special mind control spyware, designed to control your mind, in case you haven't figured that out. They would place this spyware into regular stores, and when someone bought it, it would be activated and the person would soon become yet another penguin minion. Spyware includes stuffed animals, club penguin, various movies (March of the Penguins, Happy Feet, Surf's Up), and sardines. You must be careful with anything that seems related with penguins in any way, shape, or form, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S CUDDLY!
[edit] Penguin Sympathists
Unfortunately many human beings, especially children, have been attracted by the cute and cuddly image of penguins they are captured and turned into penguin husk they are no longer human they become slaves that follow there penguin overlords with blind obedience.
[edit] History of Penguins
Penguins are an ancient race whose origins are mostly unknown, but it is speculated that they were brought into existence at the dawn of time. In the words of Lord guin "We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Before us you are nothing. Millions of years after your kind has been eradicated and forgotten we will endure. No one knows why they are doing this but it is speculated this cycle has been going on longer than we can fathom. We can never comprehend there goals or motives.
[edit] Lord Guin
All penguins worship the master penguin, a living god known as Lord Guin (pictured below). He was brought into existence at the birth of all time. He created his evil race in his image with all of his hatred of humans put in them. They worshiped him as a god and his power grew. Soon, he grew to dominate the arctic galaxy but a splinter group emerged from the penguins, and a civil war erupted, but they were crushed in a matter of months. However, in doing so much of their galaxy was destroyed, so penguins set fourth to conquer unknown galaxies, and so it began. Lord Guin would meet his match when he invaded the Milky Way. He saw humans as the only thing that could stop him. Humans fought fiercely under the living god amongst humans known as Jesus, who stood in his way of galactic domination but unfortunately he was captured and put to death, or so Lord Guin thought, but he was foolish. Jesus never truly died and we await his return.
[edit] The Savior Jesus
After his brutal death in this plane at the hands of lord guin he returned to his higher plane and he is building his power to return with the lost fleet. A great battle will occur on Earth that will determine the fate of the galaxy. Jesus and lord guin will do battle while the armies of humans and penguins will engage in there finale battle. The battle will destroy much of the planet and blood will flow but humans will win, as Jesus slays Lord Guin and he will begin to rebuild the human interstellar civ and the seat of this new empire will be Earth. Then he will give mankind his blessing to set fourth to conquer the stars and mercillesly exterminate remaining penguins. Then the universe will fall under the iron fist of Jesus.
[edit] Modern Warfare
Penguins and humans have fought in space, land, sea and air. They have become flightless now adays because of mans recent tampering with a genetics bomb that destroyed the gene that made them fly. With humanity's space fleets wiped out in the Milky Way, all fighting is set in resistance pockets on the few remaining inhabitable worlds like Earth. Some say the human fleet was not lost but it resides on the fringe of the galaxy awaiting the return of Jesus and Master Chief to return to earth and cleanse the penguin population and rebuild-and-take-over-Reach. Also Gordon Freeman will put a plug in the wall to activate the teleporter to return Jesus to earth.
