Paul McDermott

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 10:43, May 5, 2011 by (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Paul McDermott.
“He still owes me 50 Pounds”
~ The Queen on Paul McDermott
“I fuck dogs in the park.”
~ Paul McDermott on dogs
“He's mine!”
~ Mark Trevorrow on Paul McDermott

Paul McDermott is an Australian singer, comedian, film maker, and painter. Best known as the short one in Doug Anthony Allstars and also host of Good News Week a ripoff of the British show (Have I Got News For You)


Paul thinks he's badass.

Paul was born in Adelaide in May 1962 however the McDermott family move to Canberra for his father job.



DAAS in space

When in art college in the 1980's Paul started busking with Tim Ferguson and Richard Fidler after Robert left to study over seas. Ted Robinson, Ancient Greek God of Australian Television, after seeing them proform gave the three a job on The Big Gig." Ted then worked with the boys again on wiklipedia:DAAS Kapital which ran for two years. DAAS toured alover the world and spent time living in the UK until they moved back to Australia and started their last show in 1994/1995.


[[Image:Gnwbook2.jpg|thumb|300px|Good News Week the first time around. == Good News Week == After some time off Paul happily took the role as host on the breakthrough program, Good News Week in 1996.

Thumb tv good news week

Paul ignored people who disapproved of his relationships with extra-terrestrials

For the next five years Paul hosted the show with Mikey Robbins and Julie McCrossin. It was here that he developed his singing even further. By the end of the run, GNW shows consisted of nothing but Paul singing so audiences got bored and it was cancelled. However during those five unforgettable years, the biggest scandal of Paul’s life occurred. His widely publicised affairs with both Marcia Hines and Mark Trevorrow almost threatened to end his career, however, much to everyone’s surprise, this little exhibition actually added to his popularity. He was much more publicly criticised for his relationship with the extra-terrestrial, Flacco. Their long term relationship extended to 2007 until Flacco was axed.

He could never choose between Marcia and Mark, so he had both...every day

In the year 2000 Paul was kicked out of Network Ten with the “Boot”. His suit was even taken from him and given to his ungrateful successor as the face of Ten, Rove McManus, even though, in doing so, they needed the tailor to take it in again.

The In-Between Years

During those dark years when Good News Week was off the air, Paul engaged in questionable practices such as hosting a variety show that only featured dancing and public beheadings. But his biggest embarrassment to date was when he described his new band as “bigger than Jesus” (history repeating itself?). At least that’s what the general idea was when he said that they were “God”. Or so the Americans thought, and many of them being redneck, gun-toting Christians (as some non-Politically correct individuals would say), they blew the whole thing out of proportion. Paul maintains that he said they were Gud, but would they listen? It was in a failed assassination attempt during their US tour that Paul lost his other foot to an infected gunshot wound. Now he has two robotic feet, making his walking-on-hot-coals trick much less impressive. After The Best Show In The World, another of Ted Robinson’s creations, was cancelled in 2007, Paul was offered the role of host on Good News Week another time around.

Good News Week again?

This fantastical decision in 2008 by Channel Whatsitcalled marked the beginning of a new era.

Paul, cancer and religion

[[Image:Jedipaul.jpg|thumb|300px|Paul was the first Jedi to survive lung cancer]] Paul never smoked and therefore never got cancer. However, he had a horrible habit of sticking an unlit cigarette in his mouth for absolutely no reason, as depicted in this photograph.

Paul is also a very outspoken advocate of the Jedi Church. This photo shows him parading the traditional dress of his religion. One of Paul's most memorable speeches on Jediism told of the day he learnt who his real father was. Elvis Costello hadn't called, he hadn't written, ever. But one day he arrived on the doorstep of Paul's bungalow to deliver the inspiring news. Paul remembers this as the best and worst day of his life. He celebrated by not smoking a cigarette.

External links

Personal tools