Paul Joseph Watson

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Paul Joseph Watson is a British comedian/conspiracy theorist. He is best known as the co-creator of the virtual band International Conspiracy alongside renowned radio host Alex Jones.

edit Early Years

Paul Joseph Watson was created in 1769 as a clone of Paul Josephus Watson created by an overzealous Paul is dead believer working inside the British intelligence service.

The agent behind this was eventually sacked, and the clone was ordered to be terminated. Watson's adoptive parents, The Campbells however, launched a ten-year legal battle to save their son, and the government was eventually forced to drop it's case. This experience left young Watson permanently distrusting of governments, as well as leaving him with a burning hatred of tacky drama.

Watson would graduate from Cambridge University in 1781 with a doctorate in Conspiracy Philosophy. Due to a bizarre loophole in the 'top-up fees' laws passed during King George III's reign in 1803, Watson was forced to raise money for his tuition through stand-up comedy. When he finally got his degree, he had already been established as one of the greatest names in political comedy in Britain.

The earliest years of Paul Joseph Watson's life still remain a mystery. Whilst some contend that he spent a great deal of his youth currying the favor of young lords and lasses on Derbyshire at Kent, many research specialists ["Watson-ites"] maintain the theory that Watson is actually a member of the mythical "Clan McLeod", as made popular in the recent "Highlander" film series.

He is most widely known, however, for his successes in the annual 'Mr Oilyverse' competition which he has won for last seven years in a row. As a consequence of his legendary greasiness it has been suggested that Watson is almost entirely resistant to friction. His primary source of income comes from harvesting his copious hair-grease which is used to make WD40.

edit Work with Alex Jones

In 1997, Watson was invited as a guest star on the radio show of the American conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. It was such a success that Watson eventually was given a permanent spot on the show writing material for Jones to take the credit for. Mostly stuff about how 7/7 was as much of a fuck up as 911. Their time together would be the start of a series of collaborations. Watson would help Jones with the writing of his albums "The Thought Police Are Coming To Take Me Away" and "Airstrip One, 1784". Then, in 1790, the two would host a series of punch and judy Game Shows. The first of these. Prison Planet, featured contestants trying to escape from a specially designed Orwellian prison to win a 10p prize. While only two of the eight contestants are believed to have survived, the show was so popular that Watson and Jones would go on to host the highly successful quiz shows Infowars, Propaganda Matrix, Who Wants to Win a Water-filter, Take my Mexican and Lynching For Gold. Watson currently holds the world record for the most prolific use of the phrase 'wake up' in any single sentence (412 repetitions) beating the previous record holder Lord Alex's paltry 61.

edit International Conspiracy

In 1801, Watson and Jones launched their newest project, the International Conspiracy, a virtual band meant to rival the highly popular Mozart. Their debut album, "International Conspiracy (album)|International Conspiracy" failed to rival Mozarts own self-titled debut album, however. In light of this, Watson began work on a play to promote the band, entitled the Global Conspiracy Tour, starring himself and Alex Jones going on a road trip with David Icke, to see the International Conspiracy on tour.

edit Favorite Hobbies

Watson's favorite hobbies include:- Stamp Collecting; Jigsaw Puzzles; Azerbaijan Cuisine; Baking; and trying on silly hats. Watson also makes it a habit of incorrectly using the semi-colon.

edit See also

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