Patrick Moore

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“Marvelous.”

~ Sir Patrick Moore ^{[citation needed]}

“I can see Uranus from here.”

~ Sir Patrick Moore ^{[citation needed]}

“Superb.”

~ Sir Patrick Moore ^{[citation needed]}

“In Soviet Russia,telescope looks through you”

~ Russian reversal on telescopes^{[citation needed]}

“Truly, truly spectacular.”

~ Sir Patrick Moore ^{[citation needed]}

“Stupendous.”

~ Sir Patrick Moore ^{[citation needed]}

“In Sonic 2, at the title screen press Up, Up, Up, Down, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right. Now quickly hold the A button and press Start.”

~ Sir Patrick Moore on Sonic 2 ^{[citation needed]}

“Xylophone instruction manual.”

~ Sir Patrick Moore on something you might read beginning with X

“He plays the xylophone.”

~ A random Pirate on Patrick Moore Plays The Xylophone

Patrick and his favourite pet telescope.

^{[citation needed]}The largest gas giant in the Solar System, Duke Marquess Earl Viscount Baron Sir Patrick Moore MBE OBE CBE KBE GBE GBH and BSE is probab^{[citation needed]}ly one of the world's best known astronomers, although the BBC have refused to acknowledge he exists. He has been the host of the ^{[citation needed]}world's longest running television show "Patrick Moore's Celebrity Reality Star Talk" aka "The Sky at Night". Running monthly since 1957, Patric^{[citation needed]}k has only ever missed hosting one episode, due to unavoidably been called to do battle with the Highlander. As legend has it, there can be only on^{[citation needed]}e, and that is Sir Patrick Moore.

==The Prophecy==^{[citation needed]} Some theologians debat^{[citation needed]}e whether Patrick Moore is in fact the "Great Old White One Eyed Moon God" of Kemetic legend as described in the TehVey Guy'd scrolls ^{[citation needed]}found in the Dead Sea which states that ^{[citation needed]} “And lo he shall give thee the Sky of Night and reveal the mysteries of the heavens at the time of 12:15am on the moons day in the great river of Be Be Cee”

~ TehVey Guy'd on the Great Old White One Eyed Moon God

^{[citation needed]} The scrolls go on to say that the Great Old One will show us the day that world will end, on a regular monthly television show. ^{[citation needed]}

[edit] The Man Behind The Sky at Night

Patrick performing his famous "Monty Burns" impression.

Patrick Moore began his career in broadcasting shortly after buying his first television reception aparatus. Disgusted at the poor variety of programming available he set out to make amends, demanding that the BBC give him it's most prestigious time slot - 7PM. The BBC agreed, but cruely have been bumping his show late by 1 minute on every single episode, meaning that it is currently broadcast either on BBC1 at 2AM, or on BBC4, whichever is most awkward for the viewer.

“You wouldn't have had that in the golden days. There was one day when BBC News went on strike. Then we had the headlines read by a man, talking the Queen's English, reading the news impeccably. Oh, for the good old days. ”

~ Patrick Moore on women ruining the BBC

Patrick blames women bureaucrates at the BBC who are more concerned with silly soap operas, shows about gardening, painting your house and cookery than marveling at the magesty of the universe. Researchers from the future have determined that Sir Patrick is absolutely correct.

[edit] Xylophones

Sir Patrick owns all the Xylophones in England. Anyone wishing to play a melody on a xylophone is required to ask Sir Patrick for permission, although Sir Patrick does not believe in enforcing this law. Patrick once suggested that there should be an open standard on the use of Xylophones, but then realised this was communism and has not spoken of it since.

[edit] Concerns for the Future

“Great Scott”

~ Doctor Sir Patrick Moore on surprise

Sir Patrick has been concerned about the future since he invented the flux capacitor after stumbling and knocking his head against the sink in his observatory. When he came to be realised he must build a time machine. When asked why he'd decided to build a time machine into a telescope he replied, "The way I see it, if you're going to build a time machine into a scientific instrument, you cannot surpass the optical quality of the Meade RCX400."

[edit] The Sky at Night Fan Club

To join The Sky at Night Fan Club, please send a stamped addressed envelope to
The Sky At Night,
BBC Birmingham,
The Mailbox,
Birmingham, B1 1RF

[edit] False Rumours

I think it's all very unlikely.

Patrick Moore is not made of metal^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}
Patrick Moore does not endorse Apple computers^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}
Patrick Moore does not determine Day and Night (anymore)^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}
Patrick Moore has never faced Chuck Norris on Gamesmaster (but if he had, Patrick would win)^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}
Patrick Moore's accent is not so posh that the Queen is known to be in debt^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}
Patrick Moore likes's partying with his next door neighbour,...Robert(Cure) Smith, and loves his E's!^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}^{[citation needed]}

[edit] True Rumours

Patrick Moore is indeed a national hero
Patrick Moore does play the Xylophone
Patrick Moore does answer his telephone with the phrase "Hello, degenerate dwarf speaking?" If you would like to phone him, his number is 6 (he got one of the first ever phones).
When on the phone to Patrick Moore, press 338427 to skip to the final level of the conversation
Patrick Moore's trousers are in fact a lifeform from Barnards Star, and are slowly digesting him. When this process is complete, the universe will begin contracting to the Big crunch.

Patrick Moore

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Contents

[edit] The Man Behind The Sky at Night

[edit] Xylophones

[edit] Concerns for the Future

[edit] The Sky at Night Fan Club

[edit] False Rumours

[edit] True Rumours

Views

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