Pastor of Muppets (movie)
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Pastor of Muppets (released 1989) is the second movie of the Pastor of Muppets Trilogy.
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[edit] Plot
The movie begins where Syphilis Symphonies left off, in the E.R. where Mick (Mickey Mouse) is being defibrillated while the Pastor of Muppets (himself) and Ed Ep (Nicolas Cage) look on. Jack Bauer stumbles into the wrong room--Mick's--while chasing his daughter with a plunger and hits Mick, causing his heart to begin beating again. Once Mick leaves, he is almost mowed down by a car that has HANNIBAL THE CANNIBAL IS SPANNABLE! spraypainted on the trunk. Then, he goes with the Pastor and Ed to the local Guns R Us and buys several state-of-the-art firearms and ammunition. Ed and the Pastor also equip themselves. They want to protect Mick and help him on his quest. They are on a mission.
While the Pastor is preparing his sermon for the next Sunday, the wall explodes. An M-1 Abrams tank busts through the wall, which was being renovated, and starts shooting woopworms and Mexican jumping beans. Luckily, the main gun is jammed by a piece of scaffolding, and the Pastor grabs a nearby arc welder and seals the tank shut. Seeing this, Ed takes his flatbed pickup truck, chains the tank to it, and drags it out to Yesyu Canyon. He holds a barbecue for his nephew's birthday there, shoots off some fireworks, and drops the tank down the canyon wall.
Hannibal and Bates show up on Mick's doorstep with Daleks and take him hostage at knifepoint. Mickey is knocked unconscious by a blackjack table. Upon his revival, he finds himself tied to a chair next to an alarm clock hooked up to his blowtorch. He manages to sever the metal chains by cutting them with an air freshener and grabs the blowtorch. He fights his way out with it, but accidentally throws it onto the pumpkin catapult in his backyard, where it is launched into the sky, where it hits and destroys an alien spacecraft. He manages to make it to safety via the I-90 overpass.
A daring chase ensues on the highway. Lecter chases Mick in his Edsel. Mickey manages to throw stale chunks of a fruitcake that had been sitting in his basement for 9 years. One of them hit a piano that was being towed at high speed, causing it to fly apart. Some of the fragments of the piano hit Lecter's car, blowing out his tires, and a near-repeat of The Matrix Revolutions occurs. However, Lecter continues riding on his rims. The chase continues for several hours, when Lecter finds Mick again, this time shooting cabbages. Mickey retaliates by throwing Pokémon cards at the Edsel.
Once he returns home, he gets all of his weapons--and his Crock pot--makes a grilled cheese sandwich, and sets out with Ed and the Pastor to seek revenge upon the Bates-Lecter Syndicate.
The final movie of the trilogy, Mickeus Delenda Est, picks up where this left off.
[edit] Trivia
- The first Pokémon card Mick throws, Sneasel, was banned from tournament play by the Committee Against Rabid Dinosaurs.
- Catherine "The Face" Willows had plastic surgery just to land a small role in this movie. She got larger role in the sequel, Mickeus Delenda Est.
- A used calendar salesman can be seen carrying a stolen Mars rover in the scene where the dragonfly flies straight through Lecter's window.
- Hu Ar-Yu can be seen carrying an ancient Chinese television remote with a Chinese inscription. Translated, it reads ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO THE VICTORIOUS ONES.
- D Cameraman threw the computer that hit Lecter in Scene 550 out the second-story bedroom window. He was angry that the Internet was not loading quickly, and wanted to visit Planet Google.
- An organ thief accidentally blew the Edsel off the road in the final twenty minutes of the movie. Because everyone liked the effect (the alternative, scripted version involved some clams, a snake, and a paintball gun), the shot was left in, and the majority of the last twenty minutes was ad-libbed, but left all of the main script points in.
- Cher is the woman who yells, "He's got a gun that clashes with that shirt!"
[edit] Quotes
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“Now is the time for all good mice to eat flames!”
~ Hannibal Lecter on the trap he set for Crazy Old Guy with the blowtorch and clock
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“No, I do not have a halibut.”
~ Ed on fish to an annoying neighbor boy
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“Exterminate Mick Maus!”
~ Dalek 3 on the initial doorstep confrontation
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“'As-tu été un agent de police très bête?”
~ Norman Bates on a conversation with a police officer
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“It is not what I know, it is what I do not know, and if I know that I do not know what I know, then I know it all, because I know that I know nothing.”
~ Pastor of Muppets on the importance of humility
[edit] Musical Score
The movie won an Emmy award for its superb (mostly classical) musical score, including:
- Master of Puppets - Theme song
- Go Speed Racer Go
- Il Trovatore (from the Anvil Chorus)
- War Requiem, Part I: Requiem Aeternam
- Night On Bald Mountain (first chorus)
- Symphony No.9 "Choral"
- James Bond Theme
- Heroin by The Velvet Underground
- Revenga by System of a Down - End credits theme
[edit] Cast
- Mick Evans "Crazy Old Guy" Maus .... Mickey Mouse
- Pastor of Muppets .... himself
- Ed Ep .... Nicholas Cage
- Hannibal "the Cannibal" Lecter .... himself
- Norman Bates .... himself
- Comissioner Dinkins .... Gary Sinise
- Kilroy .... himself
- The Face .... Catherine Willows
- Hu Am-Ie .... Hu Ar-Yu
- Daleks .... themselves
- Doctor Who .... himself
- Rose .... Billie Pipette
[edit] Triliogical order
- Previous movie in trilogy: Syphilis Symphonies
- Current movie: Pastor of Muppets
- Next movie in trilogy: Mickeus Delenda Est


