Parkersons syndrome

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Parkerson's syndrome is a disease with epigenetic origins, that is cause by a human being bitten by an animal (usually an insect) that has been exposed to high levels of radiation. The symptoms usually include the human gaining a few genetic traits of the animal in question.


edit Etymology

Homelessspiderman

A picture of Peter Parker while he was suffering from the disease[1]

The term "Parkerson's Syndrome" comes from the first documented case. A young male named Peter Parker developed the disease after a visit to a biological research center. One of fifteen genetically modified and radioactive spiders at the facility escaped, and bit him on the hand, transferring some of the genes of the spider, through a process of meiosis usually seen only in single celled eukaryotes.

edit Diagnosis

Usually, doctors should have no trouble identifying someone who is afflicted with Parkerson's Syndrome, due to the drastic effects of the disorder. However, many doctors are simply not aware of it, and also in many cases people with Parkerson's do not wish to see a doctor, as they are embarrassed, or even glad of the symptoms they are experiencing.

edit Mechanisms

Much of the pioneering research on Parkerson's Syndrome was completed by Dr. Max Cape. When certain animals are exposed to extreme levels of radiation, this excites the electrons forming the bonds between the CpG nucleotide pairs, causing them to be unstable. When chromosomes from this organism enter a human, they will detach themselves, and reinsert them into the human's DNA sequence. After this, various enzymes (DNA Transferase 1 and 2a) leave the cell through active transport and spread this DNA to the rest of the body. Often times, such an abrupt change will kill the individual (as in the much less famous case of Peter Porker). However, in rare cases, the DNA sequence in the human is similair enough to the animal that the body continues to function normally, only with severe and often life changing side effects.

edit Epidemiology

Parkerson's is actually quite common, affecting one in 10,000 people. Often times, it has no effect, or simply kills the person. However, Dr. Peter Parker has stated on this disease, that, "While fighting crime in New York, I discovered being bitten by radioactive organisms is far more common than I'd like to believe. People like Catwoman, Ant-man, Spider-woman, Wolverine, Batman, the Tick and Professor Xavier are all examples of Parkerson's." This quote seems rather shocking, however it has later become known that Catwoman does not have the syndrome, and Batman, in fact, has Parkinson's, which Dr. Parker likely confused due to the similarity in their names.

edit Treatment

As of yet, there is no treatment for Parkerson's yet, since the disease completely changes the sufferer's DNA. Many people, commonly called, "supervillians" have attempted to "cure" them through various tactics, the most common of which is death. However, in a more professional vein, Doctors have been researching whether the bite of an irradiated human could reverse the effects, however exposing the humans to radiation has so far only caused leukemia.

edit Prognosis

Parkerson's often causes the individual to experience an interest in grandiose activities, such as evil plots, or vigilantary. These activities produce a high mortality rate, causing many people to think someone diagnosed with Parkersons will not live for very much longer. However, if the sufferer decides to continue life normally, the disease will not affect their lifespan. Such a person is Mrs. Butterpenny of Worcest Lane in Mancester, UK. She was bitten by a spider, a wolf, and a telepathic monkey (whose origins are unknown) and instead of using these powers to do anyting out of the ordinary, she kept her job at the library, only occasionally spinning webs to capture people who are not quiet.


SINDROME DE PARKERSON: Es producido por la mordida de un hombre kono, Ej: Guillermo KÄrgson. Produce movimientos alterados en la cabeza con cara de peloudo.


edit See also


UNIQ33affee042fa184b-nowiki-00000004-QINU
Personal tools
projects