Paramore
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 Paramore is Emo. Respect him/her, or one of them will call Addy. |
“Yes, the carpet does match the drapes.”
“I like the song Misery "Business" because the word "Misery" has never been used in this particular genre of music, it's just so fresh”
Paramore (a.k.a Parawhore) originated from Franklin, Tennessee where lesbian lead singer met gay/emo guitarist Josh Farro at the Hill Billy ranch. Both collaborated with numerous gay/emo bands, getting laid and even attending spiritual classes for Hayley's conversion to emo, prior to her huge, untold obsession for N'sync. Little is known about the group's formation except that it has something to do with the day lead singer Hayley Williams dyed her hair and had an intense hatred of country music and her former love: N'Sync. Hayley and the three guys in the band whose names are irrelevant used their "music" as an excuse to get the fuck out of the South as soon as possible and took up residence in Will Smith's secret basement lab as seen in I Am Legend, which consists of demented people (not zombies) roaming New York trying to devour every non-demented person left on earth. Yawn. The band originally agreed to call their band Paraless, because they were emo, but were persuaded by Charmin's that less is more. So they changed their name to Paramore. Hayley Williams is one of the most sexually appealing women in the entire world. If Elton John saw her naked then even he would be straight, for a while.
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[edit] Hayley Williams
Hayley Williams is AMAZINGLY SEXY she still was when she had ginger hair now that is saying somthing!!!!!!!! Hayley has regular incestuous sex with her brother, Josh Williams. It is said that he once shoved a whole guitar up inside her.
[edit] All We Know is Failing
While squatting at Smith's, the band surreptitiously used his personal booth that you can "see from the kitchen" to record their first album. Though young, the band did not lack ambition. They quickly decided the recording would be a concept album, writing it around their belief that each of them has failed at everything they've ever done in life. What resulted was 10 tracks (11 for those "lucky" fans in Japan) that justified that belief.
Hayley Williams's actual birth name is Lucinda Gertrude Smith. Her manager, Fat Dean decided to change it to something a bit more catchy when she got into recording though. From there, a star was born.
[edit] Fire Hair Syndrome
During the touring for All We Know Is Failing, Hayley contracted fire hair syndrome. It is believed she caught it from her father Johnny Rotten. Fire hair syndrome symptoms include her now-famous wild red hair, an affinity for banana colored pants, and a transformation into a phoenix. Currently, there is no known cure. At least, that's what male birds around the world tell her because, really, what male bird wants her to change? Mmmm, talk about cocks.
[edit] Quiet!
The suits at Paramore's label decided they were ready for the big time and presented them with an entire pre-written album to release. The band refused, citing some sort of "artistic integrity." Suppressing laughter, the executives obliged the teenagers, but reminded them the album would have to "move units" or their two year old dream of rock stardom would end. Tragically, the band misheard the statement as "remove tunics" and returned with 69 tracks about underage premarital sex. The suits were appalled (not at the subject manner, but that the band would return with something so unmarketable) and delivered an ultimatum to be enforced by Puff Daddy: release the pre-written album "Quiet!" bitches. What followed next was a commercial smash led by the hit single "Maternity Business" in which Williams croons, "I'm in the business of maternity./I like it on the top./I've got a body like an hourglass that's sure to rouse your cock./It's just a matter of time before our fame runs out./Come meet me back stage, I'll let you put it in my mouth."
[edit] Brand New Fail
Brand New Fail is the 3rd and most recent album by emo-pop band, Paramore. Many critics have described it as 'more mature than the other albums' in reference to Hayley William's grandfather joining the band in early 2009. Their newest single, Dick By Boring Dick, is written about Hayley's old job as a prostitute and how boring it was. The chorus is in reference to when she once accidentally killed one of her clients. It states; go get your shovel/and we'll dig a deep hole/to bury the rich man/bury the rich man/. It has had no radio play at all and is number 1,000,000 on the Top 100 Aria Charts in Australia.
[edit] CUTF's
Shortly after their release of the song Decode, that was recorded for the Vampire movie; Twilight. Expanded the Fake Paramore fans, otherwise know as CUTFS (Cashed Up Twilight Fans). Fake Paramore fans are fans of Paramore that are only fans after Paramore recorded their songs for Twilight. And then think that they are real fans when they only know one song (Decode). YOU CAN NOT BE A FAN OF A BAND AND ONLY KNOW ONE DAMN SONG!
Example :
[edit] Parawhores
A fan of the band and owner of ParamoreForums.net and Paramore.org began to develop a nickname for Paramore-obsessed fans everywhere. The most pervasive became "parawhore" a combination of the band's name and the sexual slur "whore", insinuating that these fans were "whores" for Paramore's music. However, the term was quickly turned back on the fan base <evil laugh>. Some people began to use it to describe male fans at shows who Williams somehow managed to turn into shrieking teenage girls like gay men. this term does'nt apply to hayley in any way because hayley williams is one of the sexist women in rock and that is fainal any one who calls her a "parawhore" is just jelous of her amazing good looks. i mean com'on its not her fault she is amazingly beautifull is it
[edit] Voice Ability
Lead singer, Hayley Williams, has been known for her ability and also her habit to "scream". It has said that she's already reached a billion decibels with her voice alone. Controversy sparked during the 2008 Warped Tour, where Hayley deliberately blew her fans' ear drums and hundreds were rushed to the hospital. Miraculously, only 50 were killed. Paramore was eventually kicked out of the Warped Tour.
[edit] Discography
[edit] Studio Albums
- All We Know is Falling - 2005 -
- The Summer TIc EP -2006 -
- RIOT! - 2007 -
- Brand New Eyes - 2009
[edit] Singles
| Year | Single | Peak Chart Positions[1] | Album | |||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| US | US Pop | US Rock | UK | CAN | DE | POR | FIN | NDS | NZ | LV | PERU | AUS | ||||
| 2005 | "Sexual Pressure" | — | — | — | 1 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | All We Know Is Failing | |
| "Emergency (Burn Baby Burn)" | — | — | — | 3 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | |||
| 2006 | "Your Penis is Failing" | — | — | — | 2 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | ||
| 2007 | "Maternity Business" | — | 5 | 2 | 9 | 1 | 9 | — | 2 | 9 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 10 | Quiet! | |
| "Hallelujah (Nature Calls)" | — | — | — | 10 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | |||
| "Crushcrushcock" | — | — | — | 5 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | |||
| 2008 | "That's What She Said" | — | — | — | 1 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | ||
| "I Cut Myself" | — | — | — | 25 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | Dracula in Love: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack | ||
| 2009 | "Dick By Boring Dick" | — | — | — | 4 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | 1 | — | Brand New Fail | |
| "—" denotes song was too lame to be charted | ||||||||||||||||
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