Papua-New Guinea
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“Where the hell is that? is that where they breed guinea pigs?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Paupa New guinea
| Papua-New Guinea | |
| National Flag |  the Stars and a Rabbit |
| Motto | Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima? |
| Official languages | English, Pidgin English, Pigeon English, Pagan English, Plague English, Raegan English, French, Papa Nu Ginney-ish. |
| Religion | is the opiate of the masses |
| Independence | 1973 (Australia got the HELL outta there!) |
| National anthem | "'F*** tha Police!!"' |
Papua New Guinea or Papa Nu Ginney as the natives call it, is a small island nation comprised of a series of islands that vaguely resemble a banana from outer space. Its people are known for their fun loving nature, unique tribal outfits, and habit of eating famous British colonial explorers that found Australia.
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[edit] Mythological Beginnings
According to native Papua New-Guinean mythology, their islands were discovered by the "white man" in 1526 and thus came into existence. This explains why Western culture is emulated amongst modern Papua-New Guinean youth, not as a sign of globalization, as may be the case in other third world countries, but as a sign of deep cultural piety and reverence for the history of their people.
[edit] History
It has none. Whatsoever. At all. In any form. And probably never will.
[edit] Rise to World Dominance
Papua New Guinea's recent alleged acquisition of Weapons of Mass Destruction, and subsequent incentive package has vaulted the once poor island nation into a position of new found power and wealth. Despite the supposed Weapons of Mass Destruction actually being a shipment of supplies for the Wildlife Management Division of the Papua-New Guinean civil service in an unfortunately labeled crate, the Papuans managed to keep it under wraps until they received the UN money and conned the Iranians and North Koreans into paying for crates of the WMD supplies.
[edit] The Only Good Thing to Come Out of the Place
In 1993 Papua-New Guinea's only rapper/social outcast made it big in the Bollywood hip-hop jamboree known as "Gangsta Guragee". Eman Laera-Ton, who goes by the pseudonym "Papa New Guinea" was born and raised in Western Papua (known as "Westban" by astronauts that think the country looks like a banana from space) where he was imprisoned and had many run-ins with the law. Papa New Guinea claims that those dark days gave him the inspiration for his music, but it's difficult to see how 232 separate accounts of public indecency and illegal possession of a rabbit could give rise to such hit songs as "Bird of Paradise Feather in my Fist" and "F*** Tha Police!".
