Panic! At The Disco
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 WARNING!  |
| |||||||||||||
| [Source] | |||||||||||||
Panic! at the Disco (formerly known as The Plastic Ono Band) are a dance pop / death metal / bagpipe-core /Vegetarian Progressive Grindcore Liberal Democrat supporting band from Uganda, Nevada. They are the only known band to make a "song" about closing doors a "hit". They are also notorious for popping up too often when people are looking for disco music, although why people would be looking for disco music is anyone's guess.
The members! of Panic! at the Disco are not technically human, since they were created! using an experimental product from Apple called iClone. Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz! was able to gain access to a prototype! by sucking off Steve Jobs over a period of 3! months (often being forced to wear a wig! while being called Steve Wozniak).
Unfortunately, Pete Wentz left the cloning vats for several decades (whilst checking his myspace!) which resulted in the entire batch developing a hideous mutant capacity to not only hijack but ruin any airwaves / radio transmitters / virgins in their immedeate vicinity.
In order to give this new band! a façade of originality, he locked the clones in a room! for 5 weeks with nothing but a record album by the Canadian Arsonist/Terrorist/Indie Rock band Arcade Fire. When later asked about how having a group of Fall Out Boy clones listening to the Arcade Fire would constitute originality!, Wentz started crying and slashed his wrists. The other members of Fall Out Boy have yet to comment! on the issue.
Their music was developed! by S. P. Lunker, an employee of Egregious Music Incorporated (EMI), where the official name of Panic! at the Disco's music is Generic Emo-Punk 24621552. It was developed to increase the company's profits and counteract good music, as Lunker and other members of EMI have been fighting the evil "War! Against Music" since The Battle! of Los Angeles was released by Rage! Against the Machine.
With the help of notorious club DJs! Vladimir Lenin and Jar Jar Binks (famous for "discovering" the "singing" "sensation" Ashlee Simpson), the Panic! At The Disco clones entered a disco club in Scotland and proceeded to play their music! in the middle of the dance floor. This "music" brainwashed! all of the patrons of the disco club, immediately causing the patrons to style their hair into comb-overs, dye it black, and slit their wrists while sounding as if their testicles! (or clitorises for female patrons) had been chopped off and their heads filled with mediocre 80's dance-pop.
Following the release! of their first album, Panic! at the Disco became a phenomenon destroying music! Pete wentz creamed his pants at the first !whiney, emo song on it! The band's popularity is mainly due to the strong support it receives. Many experts believe Panic! at the Disco has been the cause of widespread kitten huffing among suburban youths with unlimited disposable income, while others believe the band's popularity is a side effect! of being a faggot.
Contents |
[edit] Members! that totally look like chicks
[edit] Ryan! Ross
Originator/Quitter of the band.
[edit] Brendon! Urie
Vocals, gutiar player, piano player but most of all girls want to shag him.
[edit] Jon! Walker
Bass, tambourine. Is also The Brother of Jesus. Also quit the band.
[edit] Spencer! Smith
Drums. He brings the fat, but girls still want to do him.
[edit] Manning! Peyton
was a great contributing member of the Chicago Bears.
[edit] Popular Quotes
"Shit in a can! This band rocks!!!
- Justin "The Wonderdog" Woody
"This is preposterous! I cannot believe such a band would ruin the Bee Gees' legacy! These fools are emoticons, not a disco band! The Bee Gees were disco! This is farty shit! This band should not claim to be such a traditionally revered sound such as disco! Disco is one of the highest forms of art rock around today, and they are ruining it!"
- Barry Gibb of famous 70's disco band, the Bee Gees
"Fuck dis shit! Dis isn't disco! You want to hear disco, you convert to scientology and come to our meetings every Friday!... Now, THAT'S some REAL fuckin' Brooklyn disco! In fact, I wanna dip my balls in it!...Panic at the Disco ain't disco!... I'm fuckin' disco!"
- John Travolta in alien form
"You can't just say 'panic at the disco.' That defeats the whole point of the exclamation mark. We need that to sound exciting. I mean, would you rather listen to ho-hum 'panic at the disco' or 'PANIC! at the disco?' It's a shame the other band members turned down the capital letters; makes me want to cry."
- One of the members of Panic! at the Disco (unimportant to the rest of the band...probablly ryan ross.)
"They stole our idea!!! We're so angry about it, we're gonna write a song with a 100 word title about how annoyed we are!"
-Excitement! At the Party
"Clearly, all their songs are about wanting to have lots and lots of guys do them."
-Sigmund Freud on Panic! at the Disco
"Save a drum, bang a drummer"
Spencer Smith on himself
"Emo is bullshit"
-Brendon Urie, Refering to himself
[edit] Things! Nobody Cares About
- Contrary! to popular belief, the band's previous bassist, Brent Brian Chris Dennis Wilson, did not leave the group due to internal conflicts. He was actually killed! by Pete Wentz, who then sold the organs to pay debts owed to the Russian Mafia.
- Ryan Ross is often in the papers and teen magazines. Claims! of him currently dating are true, with rumors! that the girl's name! could be Bee, Jenneh, Brenda or Steven Segal.
- Oddly enough, an actual "Panic at the Disco" may also occur! in real life if the aforementioned disco catches! on fire (e.g. the Station nightclub fire). Most music critics agree that the sound of a "Panic! at an Actual Disco" would be more pleasing to the ear than the actual music of Panic! at the Disco; however, someone would still have to close the goddamn door.
- Due to its popularity! amongst girls, the band has spawned a legion! of imitators. Well-known imitators include Treason! in the Mosque, Ecstasy! At The Rave, Vomit! in the Toilet, Coitus! up Your Butthole, and Coheed! and Cambria.
- It also spawned 30 biopics, and Book! At The Disco - a book containing all the universe's knowledge. but of course this is all but important to readers who really don't give a flying! fuck about any of this.
- Panic! are often considered emo, but apart from their daft haircuts, extremely tight clothing, whiney voices, retardedly long song names, self-mutilation, this consideration is unfounded.
- Each member has a twin (Brendan, Rian, John, and Spenser) who are actually very talented musicians and writers, but since they refused to be complete whiny-ass emos and dress up like clown whores, they toil in obscurity.
[edit] The! Purported After-Effects
After going! to a concert of the band, many people! have reported feelings of shame, the desire to become a Mormon and, in some instances, a mild form of Instant and Bloody Death. The American Dental Association have warned that parents who take their kids! to their concerts grow a craving for gay emo boys. That's right, the parents, not the kids.
There are also unconfirmed rumors! of Mr.T and an emo posse dressed in top hats and ridiculously tight tights attacking anyone who says or thinks Panic! At the Disco without putting a huge amount of emphasis on the word "Panic." The identities! of these emo men are unknown, but most agree that Roger Moore and Hitler! probably have nothing to do with it.
[edit] Bottle! at the Concert
During their opening song at the Carling Weekend: Reading Festival, a terrorist! in the audience, having snuck in from Canada on a giant duck, used a homemade projectile launcher to fire a bottle! at Brendon Urie, killing him. Reportedly, the tears of a thousand fangirls flooded the concert killing all other members of the band. Brendon and the band recovered a few months after the incident, just in time to join in with the surviving audience as they finally finished exclaiming the name of the song they were about to play. About his actions, the man responsible for Urie's death issued the following statement:
"It has become startlingly apparent that we live in a world of perpetual fear when we can't even recognize the difference between terrorism and a public service."
The entire set of events eventually inspired a short novela, which in turn inspired P!@TD to write an irrelevant song with a irrelevant quotation for the long irrelevant title.
[edit] Panic! at the Disco Myth
Rumor has it that if you go into the bathroom, turn off the lights and say I’m a faggot ten times into the mirror with your eyes closed and your middle finger up your ass while spinning (upside down) one of the band members will appear and beg you to let her or it suck your cock. If you refuse to let her or it suck your dick the other 3 Faggoteers will appear, tie you down, strip you of your clothes, and eat your testicles.They will then rape you repeatedly while driving over bumpy roads on golf carts , throw you behind the sea and rape you with golf clubs.
The band's second album, entitled "Pretty. High." is the result of smoking pot within 10 feet of a musical instrument.
- "We've So Got The Munchies" - 4:20
- "High In The Afternoon (And the Morning too!) - 4:20
- "She's so toked up" - 4:20
- "Do You Know What I'm Seeing?" - 4:20
- "That High Gentleman" - 4:20
- "I Have Friends with lots of weed" - 4:20
- "Downpour of Smoke" - 4:20
- "When The Lighter Met the Pipe" - 4:20
- "Pas de Hashpipe"- 4:20
- "The Piano Knows Where My Stash Is" - 4:20
- "Behind the Books (is my dope)" - 4:20
- "Tokin' Around" - 4:20
- "She Had The Mary Jane" - 4:20
- "From a joint in my ashtray" - 4:20
- "I can't get mad because I'm to high" - 4:20
Recently!, Panic! at the Disco released a new album. "Live in The Hash" It was the same thing as "Pretty. High." because they take 5 fucking years to write songs and think this is an excuse for a new album. The only difference between! these to albums the the alternate version of the "piano knows where my stash is" it is reported that the alternate part! is that you can hear the moans of brendon "urine sample" urie getting fucked up the asshole by ryan ross in the background of the painful singing.
“The guys who are calling panic at the disco fags are ironic because, those "fags" in panic! at the disco are covered in pussy yet those guys are at home beating off using their tears for lube”
~ Troll on this article.
EVERYBODY AGREES WITH TROLL BECAUSE THESE GUYS ON HERE ARE JEALOUS FAGS - thankyou :)
[edit] Also! Known As
P!ATD
Panic at the disco
M!ILF
[edit] See! Also
- Panic! on the Titanic
- Picnic! At The Table
- Pigment! At The Sisqo
- Panic! At San Fransisco
- Histeria! At The Discothèque
- Panic! On 9/11(too soon?)
