From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 00:22, April 7, 2011 by Agent008t (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search

Pandas, Jesus Fucking Christ.

My friends and foes, I have gathered you here today to share with you my view on the abomination of nature that is called the Panda.

You see some people, some would even say most people around the world like Pandas, they even love this pathetic excrement of Mother Nature. Pandas are not be loved, they are to be loathed and hated, and I'll tell you why.

Over the countless of millions of years life has existed on this world we so lovingly call earth, we have evolution to thank that life has become ever increasingly sophisticated and complex. Evolution lets all the pathetic silly and stupid creatures die, and be forgotten, untill some faggot archealogist digs up their bones and wonders why this faggot creature isn't around anymore.

Pandas hate evolution, they refuse to participate in a orderly manner, they taunt it and ridicule it. How? They have somehow seem to think it is funny or a good thing, we don't know for sure because pandas are big silly and stupid faggots, to evolve in the most stupid and bizar way.

These big ass cuddly, dumb eyed beasts used to eat meat! But oh no, they got to fucking lazy to hunt. Let's eat plants instead so we can laze around all fucking day and regurgitate that leavy shit. Not only do we refuse to eat meat anymore, we also just eat fucking bamboo, of all the green shit around we'll just eat this hard woody shit, and to make it worse. Bamboo has around a 1000 variaties, but Pandas only eat 25. And know what? Let's be little faggot ass bitches, so anytime anything is ligthly polluted or a bird shat on it, we won't fucking eat it. Next to the fact that that the number of bamboo forrests get slimmer every year. They want to go extint!

Not only do we only eat gayass bamboo, but since we used to eat meat our fucking stomachs aren't adapted to eating plantmatter yet, so we actually hardly get any fucking nutrients out of it. So we have to eat a shitload of that disgusting stuff. Also, we're snobby little faggots, one day we'll eat a certain type of bamboo, and the day afterwards we won't fucking touch it. This is one of the reasons the big furry faggots are so hard and expensive to maintain in captivity.

And last but not least, pandas don't like to have sex. "Hey hey, we're almost extint, let's not fuck." They get like 3 offspring in their whole life and most of those die when they're young, they fucking deserve to get extinct. But oh no, all these dumb ass humans have to take pity on the retarded animals and save them, because they're just sooooooooooooo cute.

I say we kill every last Panda. Burn the fuckers down with napalm when they're munching on their fucking bamboo. Darwin, Nature and I demand it!

With Kind Regards, Fza

Personal tools