Panama
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“Panama is one of the best coffee supplies for our country”
~ Bush on Panama-USA Relationship
Panama is a country in Central America. Panama is known for it's Canal, bananas and fishing. In Panama you should be very careful, you don't want to get lost in el Chorrillo and get fucked up by a chombo who wants your snickers, right?. When people from USA visit Panama they should always carry a lot of money so that taxi drivers can trick you and make you pay them 100 bucks for driving you from Tocumen to Ave Balboa. Panama has about 3 million inhabitants, much of them will be honored to help you and your hot wife carrying you away from her.
Panama is also known as "Mexico's Mexico."
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[edit] PANAMENIAN'S Tribes
[edit] Rakkataka Tribe
The tribe is located mostly in the district of El Chorrillo and in the province of Colón. They are the biggest tribe in panama city. Their #1 enemy is the yeye tribe. This tribe is highly female integrated.
Facts:
- Their villages are called "gueto"
- They wear cheap clothes they buy in El Chocho, El Campión, El Costo, La Oca Loca.
- Female rakatakas always carry a razor blade with them as a self-defense weapon.
- Their most common way of transportation are the Diablo Rojos. (red devils)
- They are born with wooden - teeth
- They have a DEVIL.
- Their language is a very complex variation of Spanglish, using words such as: man, supercalifragilisticexpealidocious, taco, kilaho, pikachu, etc...
- They have street-gangs like "Los Toca y Muere" and "Los Perros de San Joaquín"
- They hate Colombians.
- Some Colombians claim they are rakatakas.
- They eat rice and fried fish.
- They claim they will rule panama in a non-distant future, this is a prophecy made by rakatakan-leaders Kafu-banton and Principal and Mr. Fox and Danger Man.
- Match and Daddy are hated by the rakataka community because they swifted to the yeye tribe.
[edit] Yeye Tribe
The yeye tribe is a tribe located in the canal Zone and almost all of the Panama City. They are among most hated by all the other tribes. they are know for thinking they are "great". and buying cheap things they say are extremely un-affordable by most Panamanians . It is composed of 30% Man, 50% woman and 20% unknown-creatures.
Facts:
- Their leader is a woman called Yasury Yamillete.
- Most men in this tribe are Metrosexuals.
- They talk "Machukated-English"
- It is impossible to determine wether a Man is a woman in this tribe.
- They don´t talk to other non-yeyes
- Yasuri Yamillete is actually a babe
- Yasuri yamillete was first presented as only a voice.
- The yeyes are the most common enemies of the rakkataka.
- It is inpossible to determine the age of a Yeye.
- They always lie.
- Most yeyes aren´t impressed by other people.
- Instead of beign in gangs or bands the Yeyes reunite in events they call "partys" it is unknown what they do there.
- Yasuri Yamillete claims she is a Rakkataka, obviously, it is only to deceive her Rakktakians enemies.
[edit] The Culantroids
The culantroids are a clan of Man-only people that live almost everywhere, it is unknown their quantity and are spread in groups of three among the Panamanian population.
Facts:
- They use the word "Culantro" continuosly.
- They don´t need to call women.
- Women call them.
- People use the world "aprovechado" to make them go away.
- If you see a member of a culantroid just shout thrice: "aprovechado", remenber to have the hand in a stop motion (for a Dora the Explorer effect). If you are a girl/woman you only have to shout once.
- Their leader is a man called "Sr. Kamacho"
- Sr Kamacho is a superstar in Panamá
- Most non-culantroids use the world Culantro as well, be careful as they might try to rape you.
- If you answer a culantroids request you´ll be a culantro so be careful.
- Knowing the existence of the culantro is required for life in Panama.
- Don´t try to beat a Culantroid.
- Ask a Culantroid to explain you the meaning of the world "Culantro".
- They are the No.1 reson for way men lose yiales
[edit] The Yiale
The yiales is a women only tribe. They are known for being more beautiful than Jennifer Lopez, and for they like of men. The yiales can also be part of yeyes or the Rakkatakias in sections called: "Yeye-yiale" and "Rakkataka-Yiale". They always search for men to satisfy their man hungriness. They roam in the most quantities in the capital but can also be found in other provinces but in smaller groups
Facts:
- The yiale are extremely beautiful.
- They normally find someone to part their life with pretty fast.
- Unlike the women of other tribes the yiale are extremely beautiful.
- Yasuri Yamillete was a Yiale until she became a yeye.
- Yiales like people.
- Any kind of people.
- The world Yiales was invented because babe was to little to determine a yiales superiority.
- Yiales are super High Quality babes.
- They seem to like anyone; so geeks, find one!
- Finding a Yiale is extremely difficult.
- SEX mania!
[edit] Invasions
Panama was Invaded by Ronald McDonald and his gang of Shemales in the 90's but they were destroyed by Exodia and Pikachu since they are brothers in law. After that incident Panama has been invaded by colombians, mexicans, and chinneses, but Panama's army, with the help of Chuck Norris, achieved victory. Since those old days, Panama has becomed one of the most important hot spot for gringos and other unwanted monsters.
[edit] Pic Donald's
In Panama McDonalds restaurants are called Pio Pio (Ronald's Motto) Big Macs are called Molleja-Sandwich, and McChickens are PezcuesiBurgers. DIffering from Mickey D's Pio Pio employees will not offer an apple pie but rather chicken feet, which obviously taste better but are made from the same basic product. In 2008 Guillermo Antonio Lecaro invaded Ricardo Viejo on his phone line because he was laughing so hard about Exodia and Pikachu.
[edit] National Symbols
- Plant- PaPo- Flor De Poronga
- Animal-Chomboneitors(rabid and humping all about or roadkilled)
- Bird-Talingo- Gallote
- Auto-Toyota (damn Taxi drivers)
- Haircut-Salserin- CusCus - emo
- Beer-Sober Ana
- Sandwich-Roast beef and potato
- Shirt color- unknown
- Roast beef manufacturer-Moosaka fantaca(emparedado de manati)
- Food- Sancocho, Arroz con pollo, pincho de perro y zao.
- National Anthem-La Mayonesa.
- Birthplace of reggae in spanish, an early version of "reggaeton."
- US Dollars and unidentified pennies ("cuaras")
- Colombian-ass Girls and Panamanians with Colombian Breast Implants
- Diablos Rojos (all you Panamanians know what I mean)
- The Kwanteeh
- La Empanada (CHICHERO)
[edit] History
Panama has suffered a lot since USA government declare war to the Replublic. The war started because Manuel A. Noriega had an affair with George W. Bush, but when they break up he declared war to Duran, so Duran had no choice than figthing against Chuck Nurris, the details are unknown but whe are sure that House has the answers for that.
[edit] Government
Firts panamenian citizens wanted Omar Torrijos for president, but when he declared his homosexuality he was shot and Ernesto Perez B. was elected president, big mistake, but now days Panama is ruled by Mister Satan and his Gang of Molemen.
[edit] Future Of panamania Governement
Panamenian's scientist has been working on a portal that connect Paitilla with London. This plan was designed by the USA government in the early 2000's, as an attempt for making London a very horrible place to live, since criminals are planning to move their headquarters to Paitilla, very suspicious.
[edit] Business headquarters in Panama
- Dorado Mall
- Calidonia
- Sal si puedes
- MultiCentro
- Albrook Mall
- Multiplaza awww...
[edit] Tourist Sites
There are many hot spots for you, the adventured turis, you should try the Panama Bay, you will find a surprising err... surprice. Women in Panama will be honored to help you and your rich husband relax and fall asleep, so be quite and obey!. The old Panama ruins, a great spot for taking pictures, panamenian residents will be hornored to take you and your hot girlfriend pictures, and then editing the picture with Photoshop and post them on a porn website, hell yeah.
[edit] Famous Panamanians
- Mr. Pachita
- Smiley Cupcakes, Leader of the Cupatrons
- Candela
- Fernando Lecaro
- The soccer team, for there optimistic attempts to win soccer mathches but loses all of them.
- Faith Hill
- Harold "Papito" Cooklin
- Sami y Sandra
- Peter PanAma
- Eric "Dumbass" Paulson
- Celia Cruz
- Tom Cruz (Spelled "Cruise" in Scientological English)
- Nadine Pinzon
- Jerry Lewis
- Tony Lec
- Regis Philbin
- Gary Busey
- Norv Turner
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
- Exodia
- The Alpha Dolphin who guards from the Dunngeon
- Sang Woo Park (The Dalmation)
- Carlos Santana: he received his Panamanian Passport on 2002 claiming that he was high and didn't remember where he was from
- Oscar De La Hoya
- Kazz Laidlaw
- Ruben Yee
- My Grandmother
- Harry Potter
- Presidente Chirag
- Pifia y Tito
- Giovanni "El Tamal"
- Guillermo Cortinas
- Pipi Pourcelot
- Zaimon
- Lexus Man
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
 | Central America and South America |
| Central: Belize | Costa Rica | El Salvador | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Mexico | New Mexico | Nicaragua | Panama | Panama Canal Zone | |
| South: Argentina (en español) | Bolivia | Brazil (em português) | Republic of Bulimia | Cat Nation | Catspace | Chile (en español) | Colombia (en español) | Easter Island | Ecuador (en español) | Falkland Islands | French Guiana | Galapagos Islands | Guyana | Locombia | Paraguay | Peru (en español) | Seahorsia | Suriname | Uruguay (en español) | Venezuela (en español) |
