That time of the month
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“Not now Bossy, it's that time of the month...”
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That time of the month is a phrase that refers to a specific period of the month when a certain special something can happen. Most often used by women for a variety of reasons, men too have been known to use the phrase to refer to their wives, daughters, bills, etc. that happens at any given time during a certain special period.
[edit] History
The origin of phrase “That time of the month” is believed to be one of the first clichés ever coined. In the Bible, Genesis 4:1-2, God kicks Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, telling them that:
- “Thou shall not know of innocence, but she shall know pain, sickness and heavy flows during that time of month.”
Adam, who unfortunately expresses his relief that he has been left out of the punitive measures by God, gets zapped by a lightning bolt whereupon God states:
[edit] In medical terminology
When used by women, “That time of month” is used to convey that an egg, has been discharged from the ovaries, and being unfertilized, will be discharged from the woman’s vagina, along with the sloughing off of the tissue nutrient rich uterine walls. Stop talking dirty to me...
The process, just as God predicted is one of pain, cramping, more pain, cramping and bloating (with or without cravings) in the most scientific of terms, messiness.
[edit] Hell to pay
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For the man, when his neighbor, cousin, co-worker, girlfriend or wife or daughter's body is running at capacity to slough and eject the unused egg, simply put, there is Hell to Pay.
Why, you might ask yourself?
Well for starters, women are upset about the fact that they have to sit to pee, and at moment like this, they are angry that men can not only stand up to pee just about everywhere, but men don’t have to go through the physiological gyrations that a woman has to go through. And then there is the whole argument concerning the number of men's rooms compared to women's restrooms. Therefore, women add resentment to the feelings that course through their bodies during “that time of the month”, along with that hot and cold feeling that they have about neutering their husbands.
[edit] Other things that can happen during that Time of the month
Besides the womanly art of dispatching an egg once per month, other things can occur during That time of the month:
- When a woman says “I can’t go swimming” she means that she can’t go swimming. She would love to go swimming, and it isn’t that she doesn’t want to go swimming, and she really can swim, but she just can’t go swimming. People tend to frown on the waters running red, like the Red Sea, and generally it is dangerous to swim whilst bleeding in the ocean, because sharks can smell blood from miles away.
- A visit from Aunt Flo is also something that can happen, and frequently does. Men may find it strange, because their wife doesn’t have an Aunt Flo, but if asked, she will insist that Aunt Flo is here for a visit, especially when Aunt Flo has put on some weight.
- A visit from a friend is a nice thing to rely upon monthly. But as with Aunt Flo, where is this visitor? And why does the visit last several days? There has never been a proper introduction, so is this a pretend friend? No, ones mother will confirm that these imaginary visitors are real and come around monthly.
- God says in Lev. 12 that while on her period until the woman sacrifices small animals she is unclean. You know, like a leper. And no one wants to be around a leper.
[edit] Conclusion
So there you have it, an explanation of the meaning of the phrase “That time of month.” Say it ten times and you will own it for a lifetime. This is Magnus Fortesque, wishing you a turgid and powerful That time of the month.
