Ozma

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Ozma is a rock band from Pandemonium, California. The band's sound is the result of Casio watches merging with tidal waves. The band separated after their drummer spontaneously combusted in 2004, but re-united after they were able to clone him in 2006.

[edit] Beginning

Ozma was formed in 1995 by Daniel Brummel (vocals/bass), Ryen Slegr (vocals/guitar/horse), Patrick Edwards (drums) and Jose Galvez (guitar/vocals/rocket launcher), when Brummel was introduced to the others by Galvez, whom he had met on the internet while looking for pictures of monkeys wearing capes. The band went through many names, including "Awesome," "Fusion Fury," "Retarded Sandwhich," and "Turret Toilet," before finally deciding on their final name.

[edit] Kung Fu Years

Around the time of 2001, the yet un-named band began training their kung fu skills with their friend, Wheezer. Wheezer, though a teal belt in Ju-Jin-Nin-Tu-It-Su-Sa, had terrible asthma.

One day, while training with the band, he had an asthma attack. When asked by the band what was wrong with him, he responed, "Et's.. muh... awwsma." Shortly after saying this, Wheezer exploded, not that anyone cared. In memory of their retarded asthmatic friend, they called their band, "Ozma."

Ozma scored a hit with their first album, "Rock and Roll Part Three." They sold literally 1,000 copies. After playing on tour and learning kung fu in China, Ozma learned the teaching of Communism, and became Communist. Their began work on their next album, with a Communist influence, playing a form of retarded Russian guitar, and giving the first 5 tracks a very Russian feel. The album, titled, "The Soviet Donkey Disc," was released in 2002. They also re-released their first album, selling hundreds more copies.

Ozma created a third album, but by that time, all of the fans were nearly all gone, because of Ozma's deep Communist influence. The album was titled, "Spending Time in the Iron Mine."

[edit] Drummers Combustion

On July 23, 2004, Ozma's drummer spontaneously combusted. With no drummer, Ozma was unable to play. Seeing as 2004 was the Year of the Drummer Drought, they were unable to find another drummer that year. <-0-> <-0-O-0->PEW PEW!!!!!!

[edit] Reunion

The next year Ozma got involved with a deadly drug ring, and made regular hits against the Yakuza. One night, after a large drug shipment, Ozma was sucked into another dimension, and told to give up drug smuggling, and reform. They fully reformed in 2006, with a new drummer.

The crack Ozma smoked removed the Communist thoughts from their mind, and made them start fresh. Ozma is planning to do things, like eat pizza.

[edit] Lack of commercial success

Duh, everybody knows rap rock is where it's really at. Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, now those are talented bands that deserve their fame and stardom. We all know North American audiences have the best taste in music. If a musical genre is embraced by the pop culture of The United States it must be good, right? Especially if the market has spoken and people are actually buying their albums, right?