Otto & George
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Otto & George is a very unique ventriloquist act by Otto Peterson and his puppet George.
What makes it unique is George has his hand up Otto's ass and makes the real dummy talk without the puppets lips moving!
|Otto & George|
|Occupation||Ventriloquist, Comedian, Poos-sey Surveyor, Liberation Against Your Mothers Cunt|
|Years Active||A long time ago to present.|
|Associated Acts||Aristocrats, Comedies Dirtiest Dozen, A Boy & His Log, Jesus Pays To Suck Your Mothers Cunt|
|Website||Your Mothers Cunt Dot Com|
edit Otto Peterson
“I'm gonna shoot you in the head, then fuck the bullet-hole”
Otto grew up in a shithole known as New Jersey. A place where if you fart in a car, they roll the windows up! Otto decided to go into comedy because he sucked at everything else. He came to this revelation one day when he stuck 11 oysters up his grandmothers cunt, and ended up licking out 12!
Since the revelation of that day, Otto has needed to unleash his built up sexual frustration, and addiction to protein Slurpees by channeling his anger through a doll.
edit George "Squat & Gobble" Dumby-Dumby
“Have you ever cum in a hookers ass and sucked the cum out with a crazy straw?”
George was born out of a
shit pataki Otto took in the midst of the Great Gang Bang of 1987 before being circumcised with a pencil sharpener. George was molded from the two-ton load of toilet paper and poop water that had spilled out of Oprah Winfrey's cunt at the gang bang. George first appeared on stage with Otto in 1988 due to the fact that Gary Demsey sucked.
edit The Dynamic Fucking Duo
“Come on, stop swearing, tell a clean joke”
“Ok, Jepeado. You want a clean joke? Hows this? YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!”
Otto combed his hair with a cock and the two hit the stage for the first time. Before they made it famous, they found it hard to make mince meat. Otto was found one day asking for a fork from a man in an office. To which he received one. Several other homeless people also asked this same man for a fork. Eventually George came in to see the business man, to which the business man said, "let me guess? You want a fork?". George replied, "No, I want a straw, the puke in the alley next door's chunks have all been taken, so I need a straw to slurp up whats left... ya gotta get in early for the best bits"
edit The Typical Act
“Anyone here masturbate? Raise your good hand...filthy cocksuckers”
Otto & Georges act on stage will normally consist of Otto bringing George out on stage and opening with an act where Otto drinks a glass of water, while the dummy blows him.
The audience cheers and act two then begins. During act 2 George will tell some clean jokes about your mothers cunt & offer ladies protein slurpees.
Then the acts turns onto who George would like to shoot in the head and fuck the bullet hole of, then pick on someone in the audience about having shit-water in their cunt after they went to the bathroom.
It is then followed up by the second half of the show where George rants on about how he has a wooden cock, if the girl in the front row is afraid of splinters,and then a story about how he wants to fuck all the mannequins at Maceys, while Otto fucks the lawnmowers on the 3rd floor.
edit Personal Lives
“Zebu, a half blind five year old south African orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.... Give just a small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's fucking hilarious....”
Otto Peterson lives on Staten Island where he runs a small farm and doesn't get laid very often cause he is impotent. On his farm he raises livestock, and just recently celebrated by finally managing to get his bull to successfully mate with his cows.
Otto had been struggling to get the Bull to mate, but was given some advice from a fellow farmer that helped solve the problem. The farmer told him what he needed to do was go up to the cow and insert his arm into the cows cunt, and work his fingers around until the cow's juices started to form. Once the cow was wet enough, he was to take some of the cows cunt-juices and wipe it under the nose of the Bull. This would make him horny from the smell of POO-SAAH!
Otto did this and the Bull got a whiff and straight away ran to the cows and fucked the lot of them. George wondered if this technique might also work on humans? So he slipped in beside his woman in the early hours of the morning, whilst it was pitch black in the room. She was sound asleep and Otto proceeded to dip his fingers inside her hoo-haw and work up a nice amount of vaginal snot. He then rubbed the pussy-juice under his nose and felt his dick get almost as hard as Micheal Jackson watching Sesame Street.
Otto then shook his girl around yelling, "Wake Up, Wake Up, I wanna show you something?". His woman woke up and turned the lights on and looked at him and yelled back, "You woke me up in the middle of the night just to tell me your nose is bleeding?"
edit Protein Slurpees Make a Mint...A COCK!
“Suck my cock like you're drowning and my balls contain oxygen”
In 1992 George opened up a lemonade stand to help raise funds for his smack addiction. But it wasn't making any money. Not until one day when a man asked him if he could add some kick to the drink. So George jerked off in the cup and handed it to him. The protein substance was pretty low in total calories, but it had a shit load more then then Gatorade and tasted a fuck lot better then anything from Burger King.
edit George meets Jesus
edit Some CLEAN jokes by Otto & George
edit External Links, you Mother Fucker
“Come on George, stop cussing all the time. Why can't you be like Jerry Seinfeld? He never swore!”
“Like Seinfeld, huh? Okay... be like Seinfeild, ok hows this? Dont you hate it when you kick your girlfriend in the cunt and she calls the cops on you?”
- George Gets So Bored He Turtle Waxes His Dick
- Otto & George Do Some Stand Up Comedy... which is better then Sit Down, you dirty cunt-bastard
- George Protests the War of those stupid towel shit heads
- ahhhhh cock a doodle dooo
- Comedies Dirtiest Dozen, without the other 10 talentless cunts]
edit Thanks for coming
I hope I do!
- Visit us at www.yourmotherscunt.com