Oss

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Oss

The city of Oss

“I have a bad feeling about this place...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Oss

“Oss? I have smurfed a smurf with the smurfs of smurf there once. Memories...”
~ Smurf on Oss


Oss is a small town with unknown depths located in the south of the Netherlands. With Staringstraat as the main street, it was necessary to have a Mcdonalds near to the main citizens' residence. The main attraction in this town is known as the Keur-Spit, however the locals call it "Kersepit" (plz note that this attraction no longer exist as bad management and bad remote national drive in djees ran this establishment to the ground). The town is well-known for the many monopolist situated in the city: example that Master TP owns all the bikes and there is but one coffeeshop. Please be aware of the low-quality it offers, but nevertheless it offers some! .

edit Sports

Suckerteam

A professional suckerteam

Also it shelters Top Oss, a very successful sucker team holding honorable records as first club to be beaten by Fc Omniworld and never having achieved the play-offs. Football coaches often compare their next dangerous Uefacup opponent from farawayistan with the quality level of Top Oss. Of the 83 total played matches, they won three. Two times because the antagonist didn't show up, the third time because they challenged Badgers. Noteworthy fact; the third time the antagonists didn't show up, the result was 2 to 0, in disadvantage of Oss.

edit Other facts

Soccer is not the only thing Oss has produced. It is the birthplace of the political party SP: an extreme left wing party, which opposes just about anything and even successfully launched a petition to abolish the Partij voor de Kinderen. It also is the hometown of the Unox sausage factory, famous for having people swim around in the sea in midwinter only in exchange for an orange hat. And not to forget Akzo nobel, the kind people of this pharmaceutical company have invented the candy, which protects your daughter from having ugly ugly babies.

One of the main concerns of the locals is Organon. Organon is a company emitting the same amount of gas as Chuck Norris with a good old bag o' beans. To supply all this gas, approximately 135 trucks rumble over the dikes every day. This displeases the locals, making them break stuff like emos.

All in all a peculiar town, expanding steadily and soon to take over the Capital as the second dystopia after the Soviet Union

edit Other(other) facts

Oss...wait, that's spelled incorrectly! It's OSS, and for those of you unfamiliar with the term, Order of the Shattered Sword, is a highly anticipated new form of cocaine as well as a guild on the ever so famous, Guild Wars.

It also contains up to 3 café's! Owned by the same guy and located next to each other. While you can actually have a beer in them, don't be surprised if the lights go on and the music out because someone has to be thrown out (again).

Thought to have spawned from the Knights of Templar, this guild has in fact holds its origins in 2005 DC when guild master-bater Artimus Wolfe screwed Faera Quinarte and begat a sword. This inability to create human children had angered Artimus so much that he broke the sword. The wrath of the spirits of all those the sword had killed... which is consequently no one... was released upon the world. This did not lead to mass destruction as everyone had once thought... so... there was never a Guild Wars game for it.

Ah shit, who are we kidding...

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