Orange Jews
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“In Soviet Russia, orange drinks JEW!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Orange jews
Orange Jews, a drink created by Hitler during the roaring 30's, is a complicated drink resembling wine. Or blood. More close to blood. A mixture of two parts Jew, one part alcohol (alkohol in German). Made the same way orange juice is made, essentially, by the squeezing of fresh Jews. Pulp, though not a huge choice of 'texture' people (gay men, transvestites and anorexic women, who all use this excuse to eat less), can add flavor and more variety to the orange Jews. It can also be made from concentrate, via concentration camps.
Picked fresh from trees only on months starting with J (January, June and July), Orange Jews can be created quickly and stored in bottles, similar to those used for canning jam, and hold their flavor and coloring for years.
[edit] Uses
Though sometimes thought of only as a party drink, many people enjoy winding down after a hard day of work with a nice big glass.
Orange Jews was also used as a sedative for young children during the 60's, but after government testing that showed a severe increase in AIDS in the children drinking the orange Jews, production of orange Jews chewy tablets and anti-nausiants slowed to a near halt.
Production then hit an all-time high in the 80's when the American government just stopped giving a damn and most people had AIDS anyway.
[edit] Modern day orange Jews
Now, in many flavors, orange Jews has once again hit a thriving high with the population, popular for young and old. Perfect heated up for winding down for bed, or served cold for energy before the big game.
[edit] See Also
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a drink created by Hitler during the roaring 30's. It's Orange juice silly! |
