Opera (web browser)
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| Opera | |
|---|---|
 Opera's infamous mascot Big-O, always looking.  Opera has a brand new look in version 10.01. | |
| Maintainer: | NSA |
| Stable release: | 10.00 |
| Preview release: | 10.01 |
| Percentage Of Users: | -10% |
| OS: | Windows XP, Windows BC and Uncyclux. |
| License: | {{{license}}} |
“Using Opera is like making love with an Elephant, it's so fuckin HUGE”
~ Levasty on Opera
“Seriously, guys, what the hell?”
~ Oprah Winfrey on Opera
Contents |
[edit] Overview
Opera is a proprietary interweb browser and a combatant in the 2nd browser war against Interweb Exploder, Firefox, Safari and others. Opera was released after the death of Netscape, Big-O realized how much Internet Explorer sucked and decided to take matters into his own hands. Opera is the de facto browser for pussy vikings, and wannabe Vikings who suffer from sea sickness. Linux and BSD users run Firefox instead since Opera is unfree.
Opera is currently the fastest slowest internet browser available, leaving stupid firefox, and lame IE in dust, begging for some users to download it. Opera has been developed by Vikings who suffered from sea sickness, who wanted to get the most from surfing, and make everything easier. The source code was stolen by the smurfs and published later, for free use by the evil Gargamel. Opera is now being developed by some top secret agency, the "Carebears", and is still the fastest browser in the land of make-believe. A terrorist organization has hidden easter eggs throughout the source code, ironic considering these muslim radicals do not celebrate Easter. The hidden code is a television broadcast filter hueristic that turns any Presidential speech into dreck no one can comprehend. Though for a mysterious reason, it works on reverse for GWB turning them into coherent speeches. Although already implemented, no one has noticed any decernable change.
Opera is closed source which makes it hated by RMS, Linus Torvalds and the GNU people. KDE consider this to be evil as Opera doesn't conform to the GPL, and KDE's guidelines of adding annoying Ks in the name of every application, adding useless features like rotating logos and consuming all the resources it can find, actually on the last bit Opera succeeds very well especially when running multiple widgets. Opera is full of useless widgets.
[edit] Pay me
Uncyclopedia kids you not! Opera was once for charge, and people actually payed for it!
Lead by Big-O the Opera team unleashed their creation unto the world, for $99.99 only you get to use a browser that isn't Internet Explorer. Do it now!
But because Microsoft is evil and Opera sucked no one bothered with using it, and so it was left to whither and die.
To counter this Big-O suggested adding features to make people want to pay for Opera, and so came about the Widgets.
[edit] Widgets
Unlike many web browsers, Opera has many widgets©, that help extend its spying browsing capabilities. One of the most famous widget is the "I Do Nothing©" widget, which is guaranteed to use a small amount (100%) of resources, and do nothing.
[edit] List of Widgets
- Clock®© -- Never use your system clock again
- Functions 3D® -- DOM visualizer, modeled after the scene in Jurassic Park. See how Opera functions, in 3D!
- Vandal Attacker™ 2.0 -- Attack articles in two exciting stages, Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia.
- I Do Nothing© -- Waste system resources the stylish way, this implements a blue bouncing ball on your computer
- Back to the Firefox® -- Similar to Back to The Future, this widget opens the current page in the Firefox browser and closes its tab in Opera.
- SuicideTool 3.0 -- A random tool pops out of the disk tray to help you commit suicide.
- OMedia Player -- Let's you play a file type no one uses!
- HeartMonitor 6.0 -- Lets you see if your heart is stopping
- Uncyclopoly -- Opens up an exciting game of Uncyclopoly
- OperaOrganizer -- Organize the stylish way! Allows you to manage when you're going to eat, also other useful things like figuring out when you're son will be out of Prison.
- PornOrganizer -- Tired of pr0n being scattered around your laptop's hard drive? This porn organizer organizes it into two categories, illegal and legal.
[edit] OMG it's full of Ads
Once Opera Inc. realized charging people for browsers doesn't work, and widgets alone aren't enough of a reason They went and added ads to the browser itself! and gave it away. And you thought the ads in websites were disturbing! Oh, and they also added an IRC client!
[edit] IRC
This feature guarantees that you never have to move the mouse very far to connect to IRC. Instead of fumbling through menus, you can easily click an IRC link and the rest is done for you. You are automatically connected to irc.opera.net, but it is advised you do not stick around for too long. What? You're still there?
<opera-dev> lol i dont even use opera it sucks <opera-lover> OMFG
This is very convienent if you want to annoy admins, chat with your friends, and to stop someone from h4x0ring j00r laptop. The IRC feature is criticized, and it is recommended you don't have widgets open while talking on IRC.
[edit] abUse me
Opera is now free!
*yawn*
It took Opera developers time to realize that Firefox is not only kickass, but also free and is running away with their users! Plus most of their users pirated Opera anyway. Not to be outdone, Opera frees their code browser for all to use. Code is still a secret, and unfree! Opera has forever lost!
[edit] War against Microsoft
Opera called for unbundling IE from Windows! But how am I supposed to download Opera then?
[edit] Stagnancy
Only fat 40 year old women without husbands use Opera.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
Phishing site designed to fool you (note that its logo is the wrong color)
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