Open Windows

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Open Windows.
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to the other Open Windows.

Open Windows (abbreviated as OW) is an ongoing project released by AIM (Apple-IBM-Motarola) that anyone can edit. The catch is that Open Windows comes with absolutely nothing installed; all extensions must be downloaded from the Open Windows website (

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Open Windows when first installed.

edit History

Open Windows was conceived of by Steve Jobs one day while on drugs. Inspired by awesome open-source projects such as StepMania and OpenOffice, Jobs wanted to help convert Windows users to the amazing functionality of OSX. We still can't figure out how open-source software can do this, but damnit if it won't stop most people from using it.

edit Popular Extensions

Some of the most popular extensions are based off of previous Microsoft creations but written completely from scratch and therefore bug-free (assuming that the programmer knows a compiler from his ass). More and more extensions are being created every day. Why not make your own?

edit Defag

Sometimes the files on your hard drive become totally gay and slow down your system's performance. To remedy this, a defagmentation program is needed, similar to Microsoft's file-arrangement utility.

edit Mineduster

Based off of the X-Lnux game Mensweeper. It features added levels for increased difficulty. The annual Minesweeper Championship is now forcing competitors to use Mineduster because of a mastery of the Expert level.

edit Messy Desk

Based off of Microsoft poop. Its most prominent feature is the ability to permanently disable the Office Assistant(Origglly developed by AIM.). If you choose to use it, you can browse through a plethora of entertaining characters such as Annoying Coworker, The Boss, and the crowd favorite Straight Up Gangsta.

edit Xbox 360 Emulator

Never fork out money to play a video game again. All you need is a keyboard, and you're all set to play your favorite Xbox poop$pee games, complete with full backwards compatibility. Joystick/gamepad functionality is not included.

edit Klondike

Based off of Solitaire (Made by IBM in 2009 BC). Nothing is changed here besides the ability to use custom images for card backs.

edit Mozilla Firefox

It's not based off of anything created by Microsoft; it's just a kick-ass browser.

edit Steve vs. Steve

A game where you can pit Steve Balmer against Steve Jobs for who the biggest freak is!

edit Apple Authentic Advantage (AAA)

The alternative to Windows Genuine Advantage, it works by comparing several random numbers to those generated by Apples servers. In the event that a non-authentic copy is identified, all power is directed to the display adapter, which causes the monitor to explode.

edit Linux Emulator

Apple displaced this shit. Nobody uses it. Ever.

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