Oktoberfest

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The famous entrance to the Camp, note the phrase "Arbeit Macht Frei", typical at concentration camps.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Oktoberfest.

“Damn Germans need to learn to speel”

~ Adolf Hitler on OKTOBERFEST

“IM SO FUCKING DRUNK!”

~ Random German on being drunk

“OKTOBERFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!”

~ The Medic on Oktoberfest

Oktoberfest is a concentration camp located in the western part of Munich, Bavaria, in Germany, run by the national teetotaler institution in partnership with the Anti-Alcohol Alliance. The world biggest gang-bang featuring Goofy is celebrated here every year.

The Nazis have also set-up a satellite concentration camp in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. It is a booze free event. It is the second largest Oktoberfest celebration in the world. Lots of boob push-up clothing and leather pants, similar to the San Fransisco queer scene.

[edit] The procedure

You can literally see the suffering in this picture

People transferred to the Oktöberfest are first searched for valuables that are destined to be transferred to swiss banks. Then the prisoners are put into the typical Öktöberfest inmate suits. Once inside the inmates are forced to do hard labour work and put up the torture facilities and the barracks in which they will be exterminated.

[edit] The Prision

Because the inmates often tend to get lost in such a huge Camp, therefore signs have been put up for orientation.

The concentrationcamp is located at the Theresienwiese, It's fully surrounded by the police to make sure no inmate escapes.

The Oktoberfest consists of many facilities. There are the barracks where the inmates are kept in thousands, without hygene or humane amount of personal space.

The inmates are systematically killed by an overdosis of fat food and alcohol poisoning. Those that are still of some use are tortured for the Guards pleasure on multiple torture devices. The killing generally takes place in the barracks. Before the inmates are forced into the barracks, they are told that they will just take a shower to maintain a minimum of hygene in the Oktoberfest. Once they are in the Barracks they will all get a yellow substance in a 1 liter glass under the pretext of it being a vaccine against the birdflu. Those that refuse to do so will be shot on sight. Once they are all under the influence of the Poison they will be submitted to mortally bad music causing them to jump uncoordinated on the prisonbenches which will eventually cause death by muscle-overstress. Once everyone is dead, a bulldozer gathers the remains and all corpses will be processed to leatherpurses.

[edit] The Prison Uniform

A German Waitress distributing the beer

The Prisonuniform consists of a Lederhose and a white shirt. To ridicule the inmates even more, they are obligated to wear knee-long socks and funny looking shoes. The mainreason for the Uniform being made out of leather is the fact, that the remains of the inmates killed in the concentrationcamp are first shredded, then being processed into leatherpurses and sold.

[edit] Torture devices

• The Riesenrad:

The Riesenrad is the place where disobedients are beaten to death. Each cabin can hold up to 5 prisonguards and one inmate that will be raped and beaten to death.

[edit] Life within the Oktoberfest

The uniform is not washable at temperatures over 30°C.

There is none, everyone that gets there, gets killed within the day. It closes at 11:00pm. The Oktoberfest employees also have to sleep at some time.

[edit] Food and drinks in the Oktoberfest

The food consists mainly of pretzels and Bratwurst, while the beverage consists mainly of that yellow poison, which still does taste excellent though(otherwise no one would drink it) and of concentrated jews... uh juice... one of those is not right.

[edit] Similarly named celebrations

• Brocktoberfest in honor of Lou Brock]the first MLB player to steal 50 bases and hit 20 home runs in the same season, the first MLB player ever to bat in a major league regular season game in Canada, and the first MLB player to carry a bat on the basepaths in order to intimdate defensive players, allowing him to ammass many more steals than would otherwise be justified.

• Crocktoberfest celebration of Country Crock spread by Unilever, which is composed of boiled, pureed, filtered Jackalope carcasses

• Daktarifest which is a yearly vegan veterinarian film series presented in Bayonne, New Jersey by PETA

• Spocktoberfest in honor of Spock celebrated in the triple-star 40 Eridani system 16 light-years from Sol system with warp pod races and romulan ale