From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 02:26, January 13, 2013 by Thekillerfroggy (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search

This article sponsored by IronicTees, who are clearly unaware of the definition of irony.

OhInternet is the poorly-conceived replacement for Encyclopaedia Dramatica, and a blatant Know Your Meme ripoff, designed to appeal to the internet savvy, yet easily offended 18-34 year old demographic. Amazingly, without even using a single picture of a mutilated penis, the site has managed to be even more insulting and offending than its predecessor. First, it's about as funny as the rotting corpse of a dead infant, and looks just as awful: as any competent web designer will tell you, you should always try to stuff as many ads in the page as possible, at the cost of content and repelling any and all visitors. Second, create a site dedicated to recording internet phenomena, while dumbing down the information so that elderly grandmothers and 50-something year old advertising agents (two groups that are obviously very knowledgeable about internet culture) can understand it. Add even more ads pandering to "counter cultural" 18-34 year olds, and finally, alienate 99.99% of your userbase, thereby substantially reducing the amount of people who click on your advertisements. Now, you have a recipe for disaster.

Safe for Work

In order to draw advertisers, and pay for their new servers, OhInternet insists that all of their articles be strictly Safe For Work. This eliminates all the racism, sexism, homophobia, and extreme religious prejudice. Except where it draws advertisers. It also eliminates most of the jokes at others expense, cyberbullying, all of the cursing, and anything that isn't politically correct or might offend an elderly grandmother or an irate boss (who is already irate that his company's computers were used for any purpose besides working). Except where it draws advertisers. In other words, it is similar to the old "What-Port-80" but without the rainbowy childish art at the top. Because childish art doesn't draw advertisers. Except maybe Fisher Price.

Alienating your Userbase and Influencing Advertisers

It is difficult to troll a troll, or offend someone as jaded as an ED user, but OhInternet has managed to do both of these with astonishing success. First by eliminating the forums promoting trolling, and secondly by removing virtually all of the articles related to trolling, as well as the offensive content that attracted most of ED's immature user base in the first place, most of whom are regular frequenters of 4chan. Which explains a lot when you think about it.

The fact that they are regular frequenters of 4chan means that they do not have any interest in porn ads, especially if it involves paying money, when they can get their porn on 4chan for FREE. Also, ED was like a secret addiction to site readers who are over 25 or have a job, or conservative relatives, since most corporate employers and conservative relatives tend to frown on offensive content, shock images, and porn (ie about 99% of ED's content). Thus, there was little or no interest in ED T-shirts, coffee mugs, and other merchandise.

No business, even a nonprofit, can survive for long in the red, and the old ED was no different. ED was maintained by donations from its surprisingly generous fan base, but even generosity tends to run out eventually. On April 15th 2011, ED was swallowed up by OhInternet. OhInternet was designed with a purely business motive, and disregarding what the old userbase of ED was all about. All of the old articles from ED were scrapped without warning. Oddly enough, OhInternet did not even import all the articles from WP80, the work-safe version of ED, which was developed side-by-side in the late stages of ED, but never attracted the attention of advertisers.

Anon of course, rebuilt three versions of ED from the ground up using internet archives, to restore their "lulz", their NSFW content, as many shock images as they could relocate, and then promptly rejected and abandoned OhInternet. They repaid ED's former site owner for her limited generosity and refusal to hand over EDs archives by posting a picture of her mooning the camera, an apt if ironic analogy, and crying "sell-out", among various other epithets. None of this should have come as a surprise to anyone.

It is too early to determine whether OhInternet will actually attract advertisers, but to do so, it must first develop a user base that will purchase merchandise. This generally means appealing to an older audience. In other words, OhInternet is trying to be the "grown-up" version of ED, appealing to the working class, and even executives in suits. Except that executives in suits generally don't have spare time to browse the internet for humor sites, and are more likely than not to find internet memes trivial. Also, many blue-collar workers don't have internet on the job, except on break if they have a Smartphone. White collar workers usually find that their internet access is limited by draconian filters, which may filter all non-work related sites out. Those with Smartphones are usually too busy to browse random sites. So the success of this venture remains to be seen.

External Links

Personal tools