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Confused Ogre

This Ogre is wondering why he is inside your computer.

Ogres are a crossbreed of Atheists, Trolls, Hillary Clinton, and Rosie O'Donnell. They inherited their Troll ancestors weakness towards fire and acid, their Grue ancestors invulnerability to just about everything, their Hillary Clinton ancestor emotional instability and communistic ideals, and their Atheist ancestors invulnerability towards God(but not Natural Disasters), so they are pretty much invincible. Ogres are also distantly related to Princesss although some more than others, depending on the breeding patterns.


Ogre Culture is based around two things: staying away from Acid and Fire, because Acid and Fire are the two things that can kill Ogres besides Chuck Norris, Jupiter, and Chaka Khan . Ogre tribes can reach up to 20 individuals, and tend to sit in a circle facing outward so that no one can sneak up on them with Fire or Acid. When an Ogre tribe must move about, they all stand up simultaneously and move very slowly, holding hands in a circle so that there is no direction in which a member of the tribe is not facing. This way there is no way the tribe could stumble into some Acid or Fire. If a Tribe happens to stumble into some Acid or Fire, They call out to their god, Clay Aiken for Help. He often doesn't reply... Ogres also tend to be extremely lazy and do not move unless provoked, forced, or when it is time to feed. The second thing Ogre culture has grown upon is the art of being a slob. Ogres tend to consume mass quantities of food, mostly stolen from humans, which only about 70% of that food is consumed, the rest is disgustingly thrown everywhere as to thwart others from getting close.

Natural Habitat

Ogres prefer to live in cold, dark, acidless places with no fire, so they tend to live in caves and your basement. Some Ogres, called closet Ogres, live in you and your children's closets. These Ogres are especially dangerous, as they will eat your good shirts, and rip your v-neck t-shirts. No Ogres live anywhere near San Fransisco, because everyone in San Fransisco does Acid, which kills Ogres. One particularly nasty Ogre is known to frequent an drug development company near Torrey Pines golf course, and tends to consume large amounts of E. Beware Ogres with pippetes.

Famous Ogres


Where Ogres live

Now that all the Shrek movies are done, the most famous Ogre is Katie Santiago. She currently terrorizes Lemont, Illinois by eating all the small dogs living in the neighbor hood and lives with a family that doesn't like her. Her ogre parents abandoned her at birth for reasons left unknown. Her current family found her crawling around in a dumpster smelling dogs butts, covered in her own feces. They believe she kills so many dogs because she likes the smell of their butts. When not killing dogs, Katie Santiago plays the Xbox 360 Kinect or complains about anything that she can. She also does Heroine and sniffs.

Another famous Ogre put on TV apart from Shrek is khloe kardashian. When Khloe isn't sucking off her male Ogre named Lamar she is eating large quantities of food such as: McDonalds ,KFC ,Wagon Wheels or the most disgusting of them all Burger king. If she has any spare food she throws it in her bed for a midnight snack. After whining about how fat she is to the people watching her programs, she goes on a diet. Her diet consists of: 1 - Getting out of Bed. 2 - Going to KFC and Burger King, but not McDonald's. 3 - Getting some exercise - usually, staying still on the bed, whilst Lamar does all the work, occasionally moving because she has bed sores. 4 - Sleeping for another 16 hours.

Paint. Brianna Long is also a famous ogre. She is a monstrosity and should be destroyed.

Katie Santiago's Story

Katie Santiago's live began when she was born as an oops-ogre or as doctors call it, a DOUBLE ZERO. She, or 'it', was diagnosed with downsyndrome. At the age of nine, her parents tried to sell her on the black market, but noone wanted her, so her parents left her in a swamp and moved to Utah to raise horses and build pure white picket fences around their island that they lived on. Katie did nothing but roll around in the mud, ate snails, and laughed for the next 4 years in her life until Chuck Norris stumbled upon her and kicked her in the face so hard she flew all the way to Lemont, Illinois. The kick to the face was so hard that it rid katie of her Downsyndrome and gave her Super Mega Ogre Downsyndrome, which was complete unheard of and is the biggest medical discovery of the century, all thanks to Chuck Norris, who received the Nobel Peace Prize, again. Katie wandered around Lemont for 6 days biting people's ankles and sticking stones up her nose until a family found her and took her into their home, which they immediately regretted after the first 5 minutes, due to the fact she tore a hole in their favorite couch and crawled into it looking for slugs to eat. She came out of the couch with 4 pounds of couch stuffing in her stomach and was immediately rushed to the hospital. Soon afterwards, Katie was enrolled into a school for super mega mentally challenged young teens. She had no friends because everyone was afraid of her because she smelled like a rotting carcass and always had worms crawling out of her mouth and nose. Soon after school, Katie was offered to be on TV to play a stunt double for Jersey Shore's Snooki, which she refused by eating the director on the spot mistaking him for a giant bean.

The great Acid Rain of '98

Because the atmosphere was so corrupted with pollution in the late 90's, clouds stopped carrying water and started carrying acid. This created some problems for the Ogres. Bill Clinton, under the influence of his wife, Hillary, spent billions of taxpayer dollars constructing giant Gundanium domes for the Ogres to hide under.Testing..ogres.....

Life Style

An ogres lifestyle is a simple one, consume and conserve. Food is mainly consumed in large quantities and in messy fashion. As consuming is an extremely important part of an Ogres life, conserving is equally important. Food is never conserved by an ogre but energy is just as important. Ogres are extremely lazy individuals and can remain motionless for very extended periods of time only to move to consume. As being extremely lazy ogres tend to never clean unless forced by humans, an ogre will do this because humans make food which the ogre will tend to consume and on occasion, theft will occur. Ogres also tend to gamble in order to be able to consume more but are not very good at gambling so consumption is slowed which enrages most ogres.


An ogre's diet consists primarily of meat products, usually alive and of similar size. Most ogres when faced with a choice would prefer human girls between the age of 7-10. This is primarily due to the flavor of human girls and the fact that this age is ripe for them. The thighs and calves of most girls tend to be a delicious meal for most ogres. As well as there ability to sooth their senses and fatten them up for a night or two before they are consumed. They prefer there girls clothed to naked. Flip flops, sneakers, heels, panties, pants, shorts, hoodies, tee shirts, all taste better than just a plain old girl. They would also bake them in their own excrement. Ogres tend to consume their girls headfirst. Girls tend to flail and kick their legs as they dangle out of its mouth.


One ogre also found is a Chris Moses who is currently living in the remote wilds of Arcadiea. Key identifyer is the 78 shaved into his hair on the back of his head. One weakness is a good scolding or fake baby. Key habit is to grind into old ladys and grope or grind into men between 14 to 18. more will come out when available.

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