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“Wow, and I thought I was a douche.”
Mr. Bubbles was born in 1963, in a small town outside of Toronto. From a very young age, he was a great fan of bubbles, both the blown kind, and the kind in the tub. Sometimes, he was even known to dabble in washing dishes, completely due to his affection for bubbles.
Officer Bubbles excelled at school work and learning. His great anal-retentive attention to details and rules and order helped him throughout his educational career, excelling him to the point of graduating high school Suma Cum Laughingmyassoff.
Officer Bubbles has been the Toronto Police Service's Specialist Bubble Inspector since 1997. During his tenure, he's been the victim of a vicious bubble accident several times.
Most recently (and most notably, too), Officer Bubbles and a female officer were viciously attacked by a Black Bloc protester during the G20 Summit in Toronto. Bubbles's
accomplice friend had bubbles violently blown into her eye. Some reports state that her condition was so serious, she might've had to have had her eye washed out with water.
Personal Life and Medical Tragedies
Officer Bubbles is an upstanding citizen, but has been victim of a variety of horrible medical conditions and personal tragedies.
This summer, after the incident at the G20 Summit, Officer Bubbles had to be attended to by emergency medical personnel due to his severely bruised ego. He quickly recovered after a few days, but has some permanent ego scars from this incident.
Unfortunately, that incident also led to other medical conditions for this tragic figure. Months later, people posted mean things about him on the internet, which led to a massive case of butthurt. Officer Bubbles had to be hospitalized for this condition, and subsequently underwent a dangerous, expensive surgery to fix it.
Having recovered from his massive case of butthurt, Officer Bubbles now has hospital bills totaling 1.2 MILLION DOLLARS. Unfortunately, his meager salary as a TPS constable won't allow him to pay off these bills for centuries. Thankfully, there is legal recourse, and the civil court system has allowed Bubbles to sue the people rightfully responsible for his condition. He is currently involved in a lengthy, loltastic legal battle with 23 YouTube commenters, YouTube itself, and the author of a video that was not RESPECTIN' HIS AUTHORITAY!
Some of the vicious attacks of this poor victim were too harsh to be written about in print media, but can be written here:
“lmao this shit is funny.”
“I bet he looks at himself in the mirror a lot.”
If Officer Bubbles wins his case, he will win a landfall sum of 1.2 million dollars, the biggest payout ever given for such a lawsuit.