Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 28

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Goldfish

This is October 28th: National Realism Day / 2nd Bolognese Day (First Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) / Carp de Diem (US: Day of the Goldfish), Feast day of Saint Jude (usually celebrated by going "Nah, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey Jude" for fifteen minutes). Also this is play Cod black ops and don't do ur homework day. US only. u die if u not in US and u celebrating this holiday.

  • 1066 - William the Bad Motherfucker PWNZ the Saxon army. Maybe they should have stopped playing so much damn jazz and maybe picked up a sword, eh?
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus lands in Cuba, stocks up on Cuban cigars, Che Guevera memorabilia.
  • 1835 - In Paris, nothing happened the entire day that was worth rioting about. Rioting ensues.
  • 1955 - John McClane born in Yippee-Ki-Yay, MF.
  • 1955 - Bill Gates is born. Biblical scholars widely regard this as one of the signs of the End Times described by the Bible in Revelations 4:16 ("Yea, and there shall come a great Monopolist, and this Octopus shall cast his tentacles wide, and He shall spread darkness upon the land, in the form of buggy software, security holes, and poor interface design")
  • 1956 - Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is born. His childhood is marked by several instances of being dropped on his head and drinking paint thinner.
  • 1793 - Eliphalet Remington, American firearms manufacturer, was born. Americans traditionally celebrate his birthday by turning to the person on their left and shooting them.
  • 1942 - The Alaska-Canadian Highway (Alcan) is completed, allowing Alaskans easy access to thousands of pounds of primo BC bud.
  • 2001 - God loses concentration for a minute and the sun sets on the British Empire, the British take this opportunity to take the whole world....bar France... again. Why can the frogs never be conquered?!?!?
  • 2010 - Old MacDonald claims that Michael Jackson appeared to him, on his farm, dressed as Captain EIEIO.
  • 2011 - God admits that Bill Gates does have more money than him.
  • 2012 - America relizes they made the worst genicide of them all and killed the indians then they gave the country back to them and it ends globel warming.
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