Oceanic Airlines

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Oceanic
The current Oceanic Airlines logo.

Oceanic Airlines is an international commercial airline which specializes in aeronautical transport. Oceanic Airlines is renowned for having many unfortunate "incidents" aboard their aeronautical transports vessels. Instead of the normal factual information an encyclopedia article would, and should, have on a commercial enterprise, this article will have information solely on those unfortunate incidents mentioned about thirty-six words ago. As it is our duty to relay these "incidents" without prejudice or bias, there will be no opinion included in the reports here, only cold hard truth.

Airplane-fall-apart
A typical Oceanic flight.

edit Flight 815

There are no "official" records of a flight "815", therefore none ever existed.

edit Flight 762

Flight 762 has been involved in two incidents, they are as follows:

edit Incident 1

Forced to land because of a freak thunderstorm.

Bouncywikilogo8
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Oceanic Airlines.

edit Incident 2

Nerve agent attack was threatened by an insane man.

edit Flight 666

Fuckin' exploded man, it just fuckin' exploded.

edit Flight 456

First officer murdered in-flight.

edit Flight 420

Pilot and first officer convicted of FUI (flying under the influence) after all 150 passengers came down with motion sickness.

edit Flight 408

Brought down by a magical storm over Canada.

edit Flight 343

Skyjacked by Islamic Terrorists, was skyjacked by North Koreans a few days later.

edit Flight 100

Flight time reportedly took longer than usual, due to a southerly breeze coming from the north. Kevin Smith was also a passenger aboard this flight.

Personal tools
projects