Occasional table

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An occasional table from the 1990s before the 'Sporking'.

The modern occasional table was supposedly invented in 1989 by Dorf, a science teacher in Wellington New Zealand. (On a related note, Dorf invented the periodic table, this claim has been proven by the oak people living in pine town.) The occasional table is a knock-off of the periodic table and was created during a drunken run throughout the United States of America, thus the table's basis is on commercial products and propaganda. The occasional table is occasionally brought to you by Pepsi, taste the refreshing taste of Pepsi, Mmm, mmm.

The table only changes due to releases in the American commercial culture, which is quite common. For instance, a whole row focuses on Cola.

The table is based on three aspects, rows, columns and The Squiggle. How The Squiggle was created is unknown, though some think Dorf left a Spork on the table for a few moments.

The table is rarely used, only by jobless people and single men for those who wish for success in big companies they could never get a job for. Thus, the table is often beaten to a pulp due to the outrage encountered by these individuals.