From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“It is decidedly so.”OMG Ball is a sport that emerged in the mid 80s and has been gaining popularity ever since. It looks set to become a new sport at the Extreme Olympics before long. It has been described by many as 'The Ultimate Sport', although the majority disagree.
The basic premise of OMG Ball is simple; two teams (formally 'Troupes') of 18 compete against each other attempting to score the most circlets. How to score a circlet is explained later.
edit The Team
Each troupe is made up of the following:
- 3 Forwards
- 1 Mid-Forward
- 4 Middlers
- 1 Mid-Rearer
- 3 Rearers
- 1 Retainer
- 1 Possessor
- 2 Wingers
- 2 Moderate Men
edit The PitchThe Pitch should be a square of 60m x 60m, with lines drawn at the mid-line (and a circle of radius 1m at the mid-mid-line) 15m lines, and to indicate the C Zones, which are a semi-circle of Radius 10m from the centre of the end-line. At the midpoint of each end-line there is a large elasticised net with a bell placed on a stand 2m behind the net. Also at either end of the mid-line is a Goal of width 15m.
One of the most unusual features of an OMG Ball court is that it is sloped. From the mid-line, the court slopes upwards at a 20 degree angle towards the end-line in both directions. This means that it is harder for the Forwards to score and easier for the Rearers to defend.
edit The Ball
The Ball itself is a hybrid of balls from other sports. For the most part it is similar to a basketball, but marginally larger, and purple rather than orange. It also has 3 holes in the top of it arranged in a triangle, as in a bowling ball. Finally, it has two bicycle handles on either side.
edit How To Play
edit How To Score
The winner of the game is the team who scores the most circlets. A circlet is scored by making the bell behind the net ring, and this is done by throwing the OMG Ball at the net hard enough so that it goes far enough to hit the bell. There are, however, limitations on how this can be done. The ball can only be thrown at the net when the player is within the C Zone, and the ball can only be thrown at the net by using the holes in the ball. The Possessor uses an oversized crosse (from the sport Lacrosse) to attempt to catch the OMG Ball and prevent it from reaching the net. Failing that, the Retainer can stop the ball from hitting the bell by pulling the net in the opposite direction so that its elasticity is used up and the ball will never reach the bell. Both the Possessor and the Retainer must ensure that they are never hit by the OMG Ball because if they are, then the other team may attempt a Spare Jack (explained later).
edit Rules and Limitations
Important rules that must be followed:
- Each game will last 150 minutes, in 2 halves of 75 minutes.
- Each half begins with a Wookiee Fluke to see which team starts with the ball.
- If a player wishes to hold the ball, it must be by the handles.
- Unless a player is holding the ball by the handles, if he wishes to move he must bounce it.
- If the ball leaves the court then the game ends and the team that last touched the ball before it went off loses.
- If any player touches another player a Spare Jack is to be attempted by whichever team was touched.
- No more than one player may have their hands on the Ball at any time.
- If the game ends in a draw, a coin is flipped to determine the winner.
edit Roles Of The Players
- Forwards - Only allowed in the opposing team's 'Home Half' (in front of the mid-line). The key scorers should be the forwards.
- Mid-Forward - Pretty much the same as the Forwards, but is allowed to drop back to the 15m line.
- Middlers - Mainly for decoration. Allowed between the two 15m lines.
- Mid-Rearer - Pretty much the same as the Rearers, but is allowed to go forth to the 15m line.
- Rearers - Only allowed in the team's 'Home Half' (in front of the mid-line).
- Retainer - Attempts to prevent circlets from being scored by pulling the net and using its elasticity up. Not allowed outside the C Zone.
- Possessor - Attempts to prevent circlets from being scored by using an oversized crosse to catch the ball. Not allowed outside the C Zone.
- Wingers - Allowed anywhere except the C Zone.
- 2 Moderate Men - Stand by the side-lines, one on the left, one on the right. The job of the moderate men is to prevent the ball from leaving the court, should it fly towards the edge, by either catching it or batting out of the way in any way that they can. Very crucial role, as if the ball leaves the court, the game ends.
edit Spare Jacks
If either the Possessor or the Retainer ever touches the OMG Ball then the opposing team plays a Spare Jack. The three forwards must attempt to score a circlet. The players can have as many attempts as they like but have a time limit of one minute, and must remain outside the C Zone at all times. If the number of the attempt when (and if) the circlet is scored is a prime number, then the team must attempt a Wookiee Fluke.
edit Wookiee Flukes
A Wookiee Fluke is used to determine which of the two teams will start with the ball. The Mid-Rearer stands in the goal of his choice and throws/rolls the ball to try and get it into the other goal. The handles on the ball mean it is more likely to stop in its tracks, but the slope of the court means it is more likely to keep going and make it.
A Wookiee Fluke is used at the beginning of the game, and one is used to determine who will take the Wookiee Fluke to open the game. Who takes this Wookiee Fluke is decided by a Wookiee Fluke. And so on indefinitely.