Nuns of Doom
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“AAA!! NUNS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”
~ Scared Man on Nuns
“NUNS! NUNS! Reverse, Reverse!”
~ Father Jack on Nuns
“Good for nothing, Nuns are.”
~ Yoda on Nuns
The nuns are the Roman Catholic Church's first line of defence against evil. They wear the traditional black and white battle garment and habit, an outfit designed specifically by Pope Professor X VII for maximum mobility whilst carrying on their holy mission. Nuns most often travel in squadrons (convents), headed by one Mother Superior nuns often lead there army training at a monastery, where to make money they offer sexy car washes and cheap sex. nuns are famous for creating gang bangs.
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[edit] Arsenal
The nuns have an impressive arsenal at their hand for the battles against various evils. In addition to being able to fly on their own power, nuns can spot a heresy from 5 miles away, and excommunicate at distance of 500 yards. They also have laser beam eyes and fire breath. A Mother Superior has the additional power to grow to 1000 ft tall. All nuns carry a retractable ruler that's able to reach heights to the heavens, and could slap a misbehaved child from Rome to Chicago. Subsequently, there was a media field-day over the ruler slappings of 1879, in which the Nuns of Doom went on a frenzied "Off the Ruler's Edge" slapping spree. Seven people were slapped in this way, and to this day all seven have red marks on their faces.
[edit] Enemies
Nuns have many sworn enemies, including Protestants and other heretics, pagans, nintendo,pink slippers, ingrown toenails,chinchillas,japanese cartoons, jedi, feminists, evil lunchboxes, evil in general (see Margaret Thatcher/Oprah), and the Army of Darkness, whom they allied with Bruce Campbell to defeat. Nuns posses the greatest power that god has ever been able to weild, and that my friends is the power of telling people what to do, the horror!!!
[edit] History
The royal order of nuns was established by the second wife of King Henry the 8th of England, Anne Boleyn. She felt that the Church of England was lacking in it's ability to kill innocent Jewish people, so she proposed the royal order of nuns in order to do her part to stop heresy. This idea seemed to be right up Crazy old Henry the 8th's alley, but of course he couldn't approve it because his favorite actor was Nathan Lane, who happened to be Jewish. When Anne broke the news to Henry that Nathan was also gay, he became so enraged that he forced Anne to "snowball" him.
[edit] Nunjas
The nunjas (or ninja nuns) are like the special forces of the nuns. They are used today to protect the pope against pirates, ninjas, protestants, and gypsies. They are the reason why you can't see any of those listed above in Vatican City. The Swiss Guards' outfits are too gay top protect the pope so they step in and the Swiss Guards are just used for show. Like regular nuns, they use rulers. Unlike regular nuns, those rulers are metal and sharp and intended to kill you.
