Numbers
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Numbers were created by J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof in the late Spring of 2003, in order to keep track of their respective nun-bunting scores.
By all reliable accounts, the first numbers created were the sequence 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42. Mathematicians worldwide praised the two television personalities for bringing focus to their thitherto meaningless lives. Andrew Wiles, professor at Princeton University, said of the invention "I can't believe they actually did it. They're so simple, so elegant.. ..I don't know what the hell we mathematicians have been doing this whole time."
When asked about the Numbers, Abrams commented:
- Really, we weren't thinking about any kind of practical use or application for our numerals. We just wanted to see what kind of garbage we could wring out of all the idiots who watch Lost, and how many more would believe the stuff they come up with. Folks are making up these crackpot ideas right and left, stuff that anyone with the least amount of literacy can tell is completely fabricated. And everyone else is like "Oooh, that's so cool, that's brilliant, it fits perfectly with the show!" I mean I think it's great that they think I'm brilliant, that's an added bonus of this gig. I just want to see the looks on their stupid faces when they realize we've been gaming them the whole time.
Following the smash hit sequence from Lost, numbers started to multiply, spreading to more mainstream areas of civilization. Soon there were such values as 2, 7, 8,675,309, and the elusive Number X. People started using the new numeric repertory to describe how many items groups consisted of, the value of goods and services on an arbitrary scale, and even the number of times they had sex with Paris Hilton's mother.
As of 2005 (formerly known as "somewhere about nowish"), only a year after the introduction of numbers, they are making major inroads into all areas of Western culture, and are projected to be Earth's dominant lifeform by the year 2017 (known until now only as "a really long-ass time away").
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[edit] Unsolved Problem of Existence of Numbers in Science Applications
It is open problem whether there are numbers in nature. Mathematicians say that the world is all about numbers but they can't prove it without the concept of numbers. Some people say that when one sees e.g. four balls there are the number 4 - actually they just say that there are at least two men with their balls. It is known that some people assume there may be numbers somewhere but no one haven't found them yet. Some claims that this is just a big conspiracy theory. Still all engineers keep using numbers as they make plans of bridges or houses. Would you buy a used bridge from engineer? I wouldn't.
[edit] New Number System
In a few years time our old number system will be gone just like the wacky language we call Latin. This number system will take over almost all the numbers almost all over the world. It is called Absyssness (pronounced ab-sis-nes). These numbers are here: · Bidd (pronounced bid)= 0 · Gebidd (pronounced jee-bid)= 1 · Gelong (pronounced jee-long)= 2 · Copak (pronounced koh-pak)= 3 and everything above it · Mudd gebidd= -1 · Mudd gelong= -2 · Mudd copak= -3 and everything below it Mudd is the same as minus and pobb is the same as a decimal point ".". So learn Absyssness and you wont be left behind.
[edit] Fun Facts
- The number 10 was invented in 1977 when the UK currency went decimal. The project was funded with sponsorship from Coke and the Royal Bank Of Scotland*
- The number 8 was banned by the Albanian (donald duck) govenment in 1992 for being too democratic.
- If you are inadept at mathematics, then looking at numbers could cause your head and buttocks to explode.
- The society of the United Kingdom has had a long standing serious problem with numbers. So much so that now 5/4 of the population are beyond the concept of understanding fractions.
- The absolute highest number ever recorded in the alphabet was 999 bagizillions,which is 999 numbers over infinity.
- In 2009 Scientists announced they had discovered a currently unnamed new number. The number resides somewhere between 5 and 7, and is apparently divisible by 6, but only once. The number should be treated with caution however, as it does not behave in the same way as other numbers in calculations.
- Imaginary Numbers are mathematics calculations which are imagined onto paper by people who are too lazy to write them out.
[edit] A New Number
A recent number has been discovered it is 400 to the six hundrenth power divided by 3.1459. This number is called flarf. Scientists and Mathematicians have classified it as the only radioactive number. When written on paper, it transmutates the paper into sulfuric acid. *BE WARNED*
[edit] See also
- Imaginary numbers
- Making up numbers
- Negative numbers
- Complex numbers
- 26
- 867-5309
- Infinity
- The largest number
- Numb3rs
- Anderson Number
- Oodles
